The contents of my bag.

Last night Toby noticed I had my bag with me. We went to see a show at the Black Cat and we didn’t leave the house until 9:00 and there was no real reason why I needed my bag, I told him it was to hold my camera. But I could have put my camera in my pocket. So there it was, my bag, drooped over my shoulder, a totally extraneous character in the movie of my life. But it got me thinking about my bag. My bag is sort of heavy. It is sort of noticeable. What is in my bag? Have I actually moved anything lately? Have I been somewhere and said,

Thank goodness I have my bag with me!

or

I have that thing you need… I have it in my bag!

No. I haven’t. I’m not sure why I take it everywhere. I just know that one day I’ll be somewhere and NEED something in the damn thing. What? Well, it might help to know what I actually have in it.

THE CONTENTS OF THE BAG.

One United States Passport.

(Not sure why).

My checkbook from my canceled account in Brooklyn

One zip disc, sans a case.

One Motorola phone.

A wallet

(which has other stuff in it, but that’s way too much).

A bottle of Yes! Natural Mood Support.

(I obviously never take).

One packet of Emer’gen-C.

A notepad

One Pink Hi-liter.

Keys to my brother’s apartment in NYC. (My old one).

A small, round piece of wood.

All of my bills and pay-stubs since the day I moved here in a folder.

Two natural, cotton feminine products.

One mystery CDR

A train ticket from NYC to Washington DC

A calendar. Blue

One Elph camera.

Two rings and one 8 Mile movie stub.

Some eye cleaning stuff. (It’s in a plastic tube thingy. Free sample).

Tube of some sort of Herbal Zit-away.

4 Barrettes and a tube of lip balm.

One banana. One, fairly old clementine.

A candle and a small plate to put it on.

(Yes).
And I ask you, what is wrong with me? No one needs this crap. Does it make me feel better knowing I have “stuff” on my person? I think I need to do something about “the bag”. What do other people always have on them? Am I missing something?

Wet my pants

I had a never ending dream last night that I kept wetting my own pants. It was truly disturbing, not because I was wetting my pants over and over again while sitting in someone else’s house I used to hang out with, but because I was super relieved each time it happen. Thing is, you might assume I actually had to pee and that was why I kept peedreaming, but I did not. Odd. Anyway, I’m apparently SUPER gross today. First bad, ugly words now pee…

Quorn

Last night Toby and I were discussing Quorn Products as sometimes I kind of miss their chicken and we started to discuss how they made them, with some sort of man-made fungus and all, spores and stuff and I became gaggy and asked him to stop. So I guess, for now, I’ll live without the Quorn until I know it’s safe and “normal”. However, the mention of the word “spore” and the word “fungus” got us (or me, rather) on the topic of how the name Quorn sounds and how it sort of fits with what it turned out to be. And it got us talking about words like “warts”, “snot”, “hemorrhoids”, “corns” and the like. And I was slightly put off by the fact that these word sound as gross and disgusting and unappealing as they are. Toby said,

Well, right now, rename “wart”. If you don’t like it, rename it.

I said

skyke

So from now on, those with what was once a wart, now have a “skyke”. It sounds better. And I also decided that Chlamydia is a much better VD to acquire than say… Gonorrhea or Herpes. And Syphilis is ok as well. (Judging by the sound of them, of course). What would you like to rename? What words bother you?

Holidays

I love the holidays. I do. I enjoy pretty much everything about them. Even the spending of money and the cold. I think one of my favorite things about the Holidays is how chill everyone usually is at work. Coworkers are less apt to use the

RIGHT NOW

quantifier for time. Instead, you get an ample amount of time to complete something, and sometimes your boss or client will say

Ah, don’t worry about that until after the holidays.

I think it’s the only time of year where the “Don’t freak out” mentality is applied and that nothing is or should be that important. And I like that. Suddenly it makes coming to work and choosing to save your PTO almost worthwhile.

But the folks out and about walking on the streets, and penetrating the buses, the metros and the cars-they’re not so happy. Some walk around grinching about the place trying to ruin this time for everyone they happen to come beside. They honk their horns, they yell, they flick folks off, they wander around all pissed off, looking for that parking spaces, expensive presents they don’t really want to buy, and their anger-it shows. And the spectacle makes me want to pinch them all.

I wish I knew why people liked a bad mood and how it is they can’t see that when they’re pissy and mean, they perpetuate, and distribute said mood to all others unlucky enough to be in their way. I wish I could ask them what it is they’re so angry about, get the real answer, and then ask them if it’s really that bad. Some will probably punch me out and a broken nose for Christmas would suck. I like the smell of flavor, and cookies, and spicy snow, I like the smell of trees and pie is kinda nice as well.

Let’s pretend that New Years day is it and then it’s all over. And pretend that we’re ok with that. Let this time be not a matter of putting off all the “bad things” but instead a matter of there being nothing really bad at all. And let’s be nice to our fellow commuters, they have to be there as well. :]

Xena

Today I was told to: (in under an hour—which really makes a designer cringe when they desperately want to make it realistic).
A). Scan in an image of Xena, Warrior princess
B). Scan in an image of the Boss’s neighbor
C). Superimpose said neighbor’s face onto Xena’s body.

Sick Day

I’m home today. Sick. And it’s our company Christmas party. I’m not so cool. :[ I think I may have eaten rank seafood at some restaurant last night. I met my friend Soung for a drink or two and we ordered all these tapas. One of the dishes were fried mussels and after eating 3 of them, I began to wonder what it was about them that tasted odd. Soung asked me if they tasted odd, finally. They smelled like wet dog, they tasted like what I imagine the sludge on the bottom of the bay to taste (and not in that good mussel way). So I’m throwing up. It’s ugly. And now I’m hungry but afraid to eat. Tea it is. :] I hate the guilt associated with a sick day.

Designable

Ok, so I have a working version of Designable.org up and would love help and/or suggestions. Please feel free to give me suggestions here or just sign up and add them on designable.org. (I realize it looks a LOT like some other website. hehe. I am still trying to figure out the editing process).

Happy Birthday Beaver

I forgot to mention the best part about the cake. When I called to have a message written on it, she asked who I wanted to say happy birthday to. I had them write,

Happy Birthday, Beaner!

(Long story). And when I arrived to pick it up, I walked in and she said,

BEANER!” Cake for beaner?

I nodded. She continued,

Everyone kept reading the cake and saying ‘does that say “Happy birthday, Beaver?” ’ and I would say ‘NO! it’s BEANER!’

Pretty funny. Happy birthday, beaver. (It did sort of look like “beaver”).