We’re moving again. We’re moving 6 blocks from where we live now. I’m stressed out and haven’t been able to write or do anything, even shower. But here I am now because the baby’s asleep in the one room that hasn’t been completely taken over by boxes and miscellaneous bullshit no one needs.
Also: for the record? I think hoarders are terrifying. I think I fear them more than cockroaches, clowns and Pillsbury dough cans.
So, we’re packing and moving. And we have this big bag of change living with us. We’ve had this big bag of change since we lived in San Francisco, if I remember correctly. And every day for about 7 years, we’ve tossed our extra change into this bag. Never much at one time, a dime, a nickel, a few quarters. But it kept adding up and adding up and we kept ignoring it. One night, before we had kids, we sat down, opened a bottle of wine and wrapped some of it up. We wrapped 360 bucks back then. Instead of cashing it in, we just put it back in the bag. We’ve added more since then.
This bag of change has some loose change, some wrapped change and some half-wrapped change because we discovered one day that Emory was stealing from our bag of change to fill his piggybank. SMART KID!
But we still have a lot of change.
My parents came up last Sunday so Toby and I could have dinner and celebrate my 38th birthday. As they were leaving, I pushed the giant bag of change onto them. I’m not sure why, really. Because it weighs about 60 pounds. (It weighs 45 pounds. My father weighed it!) But my father slung that bag over his shoulder and walked out of our apartment with the big bag of change.
He called yesterday to let me know what he’s discovered thus far. In loose quarters we have $208.00 dollars. Add that to the wrapped change, and we’re over $500.00 bucks. That amount doesn’t include all the dimes, nickels, or pennies.
At the end of the day, we should have about $700.00 worth of change.
Now, a smart person would use that to cover the move. But I’m not a smart person. I’m a person who looks at that 700 bucks and thinks, FREE MONEY! I suggested we either go out and get a really nice meal OR take it to Atlantic City and put the whole lot of it down on one a hand of blackjack. I also suggested we buy a flat screen TV for our new bedroom.
What frivolous thing might you do with 700.00 extra dollars?
And don’t bore me with things like, PAY OFF MY BILLS! or DONATE IT TO CHARITY!
Mihow 
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