Many of you have asked me to get a video of Em feeding Murray. You see, usually Em feeds Murray on the fly, without my noticing. Both parties make out under this arrangement: Em gets to appear as though he’s eaten everything on his plate, and Murray gets fatter and fatter and fatter. Last week, I decided to sit there with the video camera and let them do their thing. This is what ensued:
My son will either end up with an immune system like that of an android, (which is to say impenetrable where germs are concerned) or he’ll be allergic to everything and air within the year.
And now for the caveats!
1). When you see me nudge the highchair closer to the piece of waffle, it wasn’t so that Em could then eat it. I assumed he would feed it to Murray again. I feel I must explain myself because I get the feeling I may get nasty email for this one.
2). We have lost almost all control of our animals. I have no clue how to keep them off the kitchen table, counters, shelves. We’re hoping that once we finally settle down, we’ll be able to shut them out of our eating quarters entirely. In the meantime, if you happen to know of an experienced cat whisperer, let me know.
3). I know I state otherwise, but I actually don’t think this is at all gross. But this is coming from someone who was given milk straight from a cow teat when she was a little girl by none other than her father. I was raised in dirt, around animals, fish and chum, poop and even mildew. Nothing earthen was off limits for my brothers and me. That said, I did edit the part out at the end of the video where I mutter, “I’m going to go to jail for this, aren’t I?”
The Internet makes me nervous, I suppose, makes me second guess myself.