Happiness and Health.

I lied about surprises. I planned a party for TobyJoe. It was held at a local tapas restaurant here in Brooklyn. I made a cake and at around 6:30, Emory and I packed everything into the car and headed out for an evening with friends. It was 100% awesome. It would have been 150% awesome had TobyJoe not shown up before everyone else. Guests were to arrive at 7 PM. TobyJoe arrived at 7:01. There were five of us there, five out of the 17 guests who would show up over the next couple of minutes. But none of that mattered because our friends are outstanding. I could not be more pleased with the people in my life. I am so unbelievably lucky. I feel so plump today, so grateful.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take any pictures because the spot on my body that once held a camera was reserved for our four month old baby boy. Emory was so good. He just sat there and smiled and then he fell asleep in my arms. I could not put him in the stroller without him waking up and wildly kicking his feet until I picked him up again. Emory is a very social baby. He has to be facing out when in the Bjorn. He doesn’t like to lie back in the stroller. A wrap (such as the Moby wrap) will not do. He has to be able to see everyone. (Incidentally, we have one unused Moby wrap if anyone wants it.)

He quickly became the life of the party even though it was meant to be for his father. Our beloved friend, Jen, took the only picture there is featuring all three of us.

I needed last night. I really did. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for me. And we discovered about two hours ago, it’s about to get even crazier. We might be out of a place to live because our landlord has decided to pull some crap that I still can’t get my head around. I’m actually unable to even write about it just yet. It’s too annoying, too heartless. It has us scrambling, looking at houses in upstate NY and NJ. I can’t think of a better way to spend our holiday. Bastards.

My health has been wacky as well. I visited my primary care doctor on Monday to discuss a few things. I have had some pretty serious joint pain. It began when I was 39 weeks pregnant. It’s gotten worse over the last couple of months. I have trouble lifting Emory, especially now that he’s getting bigger. It’s worse when I’m stationary, like when I first get up. My hands ache. My feet have trouble holding me up. I hobble to his bedroom and then I struggle to lift him. And my hips feel like they’re grinding one another at the bone. It’s not pleasant. And I’m worried that I am inheriting my mother (and grandmother’s) rheumatoid arthritis. The doctor drew blood. He’s checking for everything from Lyme Disease to thyroid problems, from rheumatoid all the way to Hepatitis A through Z. I am crossing my fingers I don’t have arthritis already.

My hair is starting to fall out. I heard that this would happen if I continued supplying breast milk. It’s happening. At the rate it’s falling out, I’m going to be bald by my 34th birthday in January.

The MOHs procedure is done and, yes, I am cancer free. But the stitches have caused me a great deal of frustration. It seems the internal stitches, the ones meant to dissolve on their own, did not. I spent almost a week watching a tiny white thread poke out of my skin. I would pull on it, and it wouldn’t give. I’d then cut it with scissors. Now, most people, most normal people, would have gone back to the doctor. Not me! I am a moron. I’m waiting until my face explodes. Contrary to how it appears in the photo I posted on Friday, my MOHs surgery has not healed as well as it should have. It hasn’t healed entirely at all.

I sound like I’m whining. I assure you, I am relatively happy these days. I could not have asked for a better baby.

I have the most amazing friends. I wish them days, years, decades full of happiness. My family is truly wonderful. And my husband is fantastic even if he does ruin surprise parties by not playing by the rules.

I’m happy. Now, if only we could find a safe place to live near the city, equipped with a pottery studio, a yoga studio, and a Quaker school. Help me get there, sweet life. Willya?


  1. We had a great time last night. Thanks so much for the invitation!


  2. The pleasure is all on this side of the table, I assure you.


  3. love the moby wraps. but they’re definitely not for social babies. i’ve only used ‘em for daycare purposes. wish i had a baby to fill it.

    emory is lovely!! and so is your family. wish you the best in the coming new year and always.


  4. Move north! Upstate NY isn’t that bad. I’ve found myself very happy here with reasonable housing costs, good schools and plenty of area for kids to run about. And NYC is just a train ride away when you get a hankering…


  5. I don’t know what’s going on, but I hate your landlord for putting you guys through additional stress – especially this time of year! Grr!

    Last night was pure awesome. We needed a night out so badly, and it was wonderful to hang out with you and Tobyjoe again, to meet Emory and to meet your wonderful friends. And if we can do anything to help with the house hunting nonsense, please just say the word.


  6. Every other sentence out of my doc’s mouth is, “It takes a month to grow new skin.” Does your doc say that. And, if the “dissolving” stitches don’t do that it probably takes longer than a month to do the first but of healing. Mine is taking a lot longer to be done with than I thought, too. The new development for today is that the antibiotics I’m on (for a month after the surgery!) are starting to mess with my stomach.

    I’m sorry about the landlord stuff. It’s never fair but especially not at this time of year!


  7. Good luck with finding another place. I had kind of the same experience a couple of years ago (not sure the reason for yours) my roommate decided that she wanted to move, I had 3 weeks to get out. I had to move on the 23rd of December in the middle of a freezing cold snowstorm (I live in Alberta, Canada).

    I know the stress of not finding a place fast enough, good enough, settling for something because it’s available and then being ticked that you didn’t look more. Even though it is hard to believe right now, things will get better, but your landlord still sucks anyway. Poopoo on them for ruining Christmas.


  8. What an evil Landlord! He/she must be related to the Grinch for deciding things like this during the Holidays! I hate moving. I have done it many times growing up. You would think I was used to it by now but I’m not. We are seriously thinking of selling our place out here in SF. We are outgrowing our house. Not sure yet where we are going to go though. We are still flirting with the idea of going back East. Who knows where we will end up….
    Anyway, I am curious though as to your interests in a Quaker school. My sister and I went to one and my mom taught at one. Isabel would have gone to the one here in SF but we found a different school that meets her needs so all is well for us.


  9. Hi-Don’t worry about your hair loss. It will stop before you are bald! I never heard it was related to breastfeeding. I always thought it was just hormonal change rearing its ugly head again…Good luck with the aches and pains. I thought I had RA, but I found out it was Fibryomyalgia, after my first son was born. Sleep is very, very important. But who needs sleep when you are a new mom to an adorable baby boy!


  10. I am willing to bet all your health problems will disappear after you stop breastfeeding. I had all sorts of random ones during nursing; your hormones are wacked out. It also takes awhile for your body to bounce back from pregnancy and childbirth… like months and months? Ah, the things no one tells you.


  11. God, imagine if I were breastfeeding exclusively? I’m not. I’m pumping and I still don’t make enough milk for him. I have supplemented formula since he was born. Lately, I got my period back (TIM? Sorry!) and my supply went from 17 oz a day to 10. My hormones are wackier now. I think my body is trying to tell me it’s over. But I’m going to try and give him breast milk until he’s 6 months old. We’ll see.

    Anyway, good to hear about that. Thanks, Nicole and Sarah.


  12. I once had to move with a boyfriend when a landlord kicked us out at the end of the year. I thought it would be awful, but, as it turned out, it was pretty good. We finally finished unloading all our stuff at 10 pm on New Years and spent the evening playing Uno, drinking cheap wine, and watching the fattest snowflakes I’ve ever seen drift down from the sky. I hope it turns out as well for you guys.


  13. I understand that if you have a tendency (family history) of an auto-immune disorder, that right after a pregnancy is one of the times they can flare up. Major surgery is another one. I hope it’s not RA. It sounds like Lupus, but I just hope it’s nothing and you are just slow to heal from the standard body stresses of being preggers. That DOES put a lot of strain on the body, after all. Knees, hips…maybe not hands, so much. But that could just be years of computer work (ya know, good ole carpal tunnel.) Take your calcium, get some sun, and a suppliment designed to help your hair/nails. New moms tend to neglect themselves and their proper nutrition. :-)


  14. I got PA (psoriatic arthritis – same family as RA) after my second daughter was born. Same problems with hands and feet. Spend a lot of time crawling around with the baby to avoid being on my feet then. Just keep moving, though. I got back to moving around just fine after a while. For me, once I stop moving is when I have the biggest problems. Fish oil supplements are very helpful if you have any inflammation and lots of green tea. I see a big difference when I use those. Also, cutting out sugar helps me…sooooo hard to stop that one though! Oh, and your hair will stop falling out and come back in just beautifully. The stuff you body goes through….but what a beautiful boy it produced! Man, that kid is gorgeous:)


  15. Oh my gosh – you two look like twins in that picture! SO adorable!

    Hope the doctor discovers something quickly and easily treatable very soon!


  16. reading this blog makes me never want to have children.
    I’ll adopt and keep my hair and current health, thank you.


  17. My hands ached too when Annie was little, it was horrible. I went to the doctor and they said it was a kind of tendonitis (http://www.assh.org/Content/NavigationMenu/PatientsPublic/HandConditions/deQuervainsTendonitis/deQuervain_s_Tendon.htm). Doc said it is very common with new moms—the stress that holding a baby puts on our hands is different from other activity. A shot of cortisone in my hand (which hurt like hell) immediately eased the pain. Once Annie was bigger and I was more attentive to the way I was holding her and picking her up, the pain eased and went away entirely as she got older.


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