Mihow

How Much to Eat This?

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by

Mihow
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Tobyjoe and I have this game we play (well, I have this game I play) where I ask him “How much to eat that?” Or, “How much to have sex with that person?” And he rolls his eyes and gives me some obscenely high dollar amount. (Although, now that we’re trying to save up for a house, he’s a little cheaper.) The other day I asked him, “How much to eat the placenta after I give birth?” And he didn’t answer me, just pretended I hadn’t said anything at all. That’s when I knew I’d asked something so repulsive it was beyond any dollar amount.

“I’d do it for 20 grand.” I proudly declared. “I bet it tastes like bacon. I am not sure why I think that, but I bet it’s really salty like bacon.” When we play this game, he usually ends up calling me weird. But I’m not so much as weird as I am unbelievably whorish. I’m weirdly whorish. If the price is right, I’ll pretty much eat anything.

Jen sent me a link today about a woman who tried to make (and eat) Paneer from her own breastmilk. (It didn’t work because it doesn’t curdle, apparently.) But let’s say that it had. I love Paneer. I haven’t been able to consume Saag Paneer since I got pregnant. And I miss it. I miss that yummy soft cheese and that creamy spinach. At this point I’d consume my own for 20,000 bucks. (In all honesty, I’d probably do it for free just to FREAK YOU ALL OUT!) Like I said, I’m whorish. I imagine the rest of the world might find it totally gross and repulsive. But that won’t stop me from asking the question. How much would it take for you to eat your own (or your wife’s/significant other’s) freshly made, breastmilk paneer?

(Tobyjoe must answer the question above.)

Comments

23 responses to “How Much to Eat This?”

  1. nico Avatar
    nico

    Based on the way it looks, I bet placenta tastes like liver.

    I would probably eat my own milk paneer, but not another woman’s. But what the hell, I eat/drink milk from cows that are strangers to me. Not really any less gross. Maybe I’ll start a human dairy.

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  2. tobyjoe Avatar
    tobyjoe

    How much of it?
    $5k/oz.

    Jon Vanasco is gonna have something to say about this one for sure.

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  3. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    I plan on tasting my own breastmilk when it comes in – if it comes in. So, why not eat some breastmilk paneer? I could YouTube this, people. I could. I could YouTube it and force each and every one of you to watch me consume my own milk.

    Tobyjoe, a dish worth. Like, the same amount found in a dish of Saag Paneer. You know, a portion.

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  4. tobyjoe Avatar
    tobyjoe

    The placenta basically IS a liver. So I bet you’re right.

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  5. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    What does liver taste like? I honestly don’t think I have ever eaten liver, animal or human. What’s it like? Does it taste like bacon? haha

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  6. nico Avatar
    nico

    Please don’t YouTube it. I have a vivid childhood memory of seeing breastmilk porn at a way too young age. traumatizing. I don’t want to equate you with that.

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  7. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    ha! Not to worry, this mug will most likely never see the likes of YouTube.

    But I am intrigued by this horrible childhood memory, Nico. Although, best not get into on here. My google ads will self-destruct and I fear the future search strings.

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  8. nico Avatar
    nico

    hmmm. liver tastes livery. very rich and mineral-tasting. not like bacon. If you’ve never eaten any organ meat it is hard to describe. Had hangar steak? Some parts of a hangar steak taste like organ meat.

    Am i grossing you out?

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  9. nico Avatar
    nico

    ” I fear the future search strings”

    sorry. and I said organ in the next one. ha ha

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  10. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Nope. I’m learning stuff about things. It’s fine. And, I don’t think I have had hangar steak. Although, Tobyjoe gave me a bite of a freshly killed cow when we were at the Inn at Little Washington. I’m not sure if that was hangar or not.

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  11. nico Avatar
    nico

    I saw that toby ate beef. Big step.

    I think it is actually hangEr steak, my mistake. whatever.

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  12. jenblossom Avatar
    jenblossom

    Hoo boy… I can’t wait to see what sort of traffic you get from this post. ;)

    I think I would probably taste my own breast milk. I can’t imagine I would taste someone else’s. I will put a lot of weird things in my mouth but breast milk cheese just… I dunno. I don’t think I could do it, even for big money.

    Also, I love chicken livers.

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  13. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Oops. I took Hangar and ran with it.

    ipuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk (Murray typed that last bit)

    I draw the line at my own poop. NO amount of money could drive me to that. I don’t think. Then again, if someone were standing before me with a million dollars, who knows…

    Urine, on the other hand, isn’t that super sterile?

    Have I taken this too far?

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  14. StFarmer Avatar
    StFarmer

    Liver and onions – oh yeah! Delicious! Sometimes liver is served with bacon so it CAN taste like bacon.

    Rumaki – or the most delicious appetizer EVER

    Re: breastmilk – I have tasted it – not bad.

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  15. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Holy cow, StFarmer, that should come with a heart attack warning!

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  16. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    I wouldn’t have a problem tasting my OWN breastmilk, but someone else’s? NO THANKS! However, I don’t think I’d want to waste that much of it to make cheese out of it…it’s a precious commodity! ;)

    Actually..if you express milk and freeze it, you are supposed to taste it so you know if it has gone bad. Let me explain that better. Taste the milk when it is fresh, so if you freeze it or refridgerate it for a long time-you can test it to know if it is sour or not. I usually just smell it, and can tell from that….

    My husband loves liver, I have no idea why. I can’t even watch him eating it without gagging. Liver is not allowed in our house unless it is still inside a body where it belongs.

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  17. greg Avatar
    greg

    i asked a friend if i could try her breast milk…..she wouldn’t. i told her from a bottle would be acceptable…. she still didn’t go for it. so as for you question of how much for the paneer? i’d probably pay as much as 20 bucks to try it! hahahaha

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  18. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    I need to remind folks, we’re talking breastmilk cheese here, not just plain ol’ breastmilk.

    CHEESE! Yummy breastmilk cheese. ;]

    Wasn’t this on an episode of Friends? Yes, I watched the hell out of that show.

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  19. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    Dude, I LOVE liver. This has got me rethinking the whole placenta for dinner idea.

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  20. jenB Avatar
    jenB

    Liver is the garbage organ of the body! EWW! No liver for me. It tasted bloody and irony. If that makes sense. Breastmilk is sweeter than regular milk, and less thick, unless you let it sit and the fattier milk rises to the top. I have only tasted my own. Tasted, not beer bonged it. I would not eat paneer ever, breast milk or not. :-)

    I remember the Friends episode as well. I just watched a rerun and am going to bed!

    You are weird to think about this, but tis why you are so likable and awesome.

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  21. calvo Avatar
    calvo

    blearghh…even pre-vegan I was never a fan of liver. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t go in for the placenta, either.

    as for breast milk or breast cheese…possibly. just to, you know, see what it’s like. I’m with nico on thinking that it’s not really any stranger than drinking the milk of an entirely different species.

    interestingly, I stumbled upon this page just the other day: http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000142.php

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  22. greg Avatar
    greg

    absolutely would i eat breastmilk cheese! i love feta cheese and yet i’ve seen goat teets drag on the ground through their own feces and i still eat it on my salads! sorta gross! this doesn’t mean poo hasn’t seen a human breast(which i have also seen) but i’d still have to try it. i’ve eaten testicles before so booby-milk-cheese isn’t much of a stretch…..it’s not like it’s cannibalism, right? : )

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  23. autumn Avatar
    autumn

    i read this post while i was eating ice cream. vomit. but definitely funny. my friends & i have a game like that w/food too – but it’s more like fear factor. i’m chicken though – i just sit back and laugh instead of participating.

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