Welcome to the Third Trimester.

I have put on 22 pounds since getting pregnant. 22 pounds. This is troubling for me. I know I’m supposed to be putting on weight, but 22 pounds, man. Here’s how I think: since my baby currently weighs (at most) 1.5 pounds and will probably weigh 7.5 pounds when he’s born, I’ve got at least another 6.0 pounds to add to that total. That means I can depend on gaining 28 pounds by the end of this. And that doesn’t include the other stuff: fat, water, placenta, or boobage. At the rate I’m going, I’m going to have put on well over 35 pounds by the time this is all said and done.

Oh, and I can no longer see my crotch. Shaving my legs has become a comedy routine. I have great difficulty rolling over and sitting up in bed. When I do, I resemble one of these creatures. (Video clip.) My hips ache. I pee constantly. This list is endless.


  1. do you make sealion sounds too? because that could be amusing.


  2. I don’t know. I do make a lot of noise. I grunt and groan and sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, I blurt out an obscenity or two. Which is unheard of these days because I’m trying to cut down on all the cursing. (This is completely tossed out the window while driving, however.)

    I guess I do kind of resemble them audibly as well. Only throw in a God Dammit! Every now and again.


  3. With Simone, Rob and I actually had to sleep on different floors of the house because I snored so loudly so at least you don’t have that problem!

    Honestly, I only have one friend who stayed within the 25-30 pounds doctors tell you to gain. She had gestational diabetes and was on such a restricted diet she basically gained baby weight and that was it. I’d rather eat what I want and lose the weight later.


  4. Thanks, Mel. That’s what I need to hear. The good news is my doctors haven’t said anything to me about it yet, which means they probably think it’s A-OK that I am gaining this much. (I put on 6 pounds in three week between two visits. I went back again yesterday after watching my diet for the most part and this time, I added another 4.) They said the same thing: that I can lose it later. But i really, really have to actually do that.

    Speaking of losing post pregnancy weight, I just got back from the gym. There was a couple there working out together while their little itty bitty baby lie next to them in a small carrier sleeping. I thought, what a great idea!

    Speaking of gestational diabetes, yesterday I had to drink one of these to test for it. I’m getting my results back tomorrow. I’ll write all about it after I know more.


  5. I hated drinking that stuff. It was terrible. In AL, they let you eat a candy bar and drink a Coke instead. I like that option much better.


  6. I just heard that from another woman named Torrie. She said she had jelly beans for the second test. I was blown away by the fact that there is enough sugar in such a small candy to equal 50 grams of it in that jar of orange soda.

    In all honesty, tho, while I MUCH rather would have had a coke, it wasn’t bad at all. Then again, I haven’t had a soda in, well, over 6 months, so I think I fooled myself into thinking it was an Orange Crush.


  7. Actually, they both made me sick to my stomach. That much sugar on an empty stomach was just hard to deal with in any form.


  8. I’m not sure if it will make you feel any better, but from the date of my positive pregnancy test, I put on 23 lbs to get to week 27 (Isn’t that the third trimester?), and then another 13 lbs in the 3rd trimester. Yes, that makes 36 lbs total. I lost 15 of it by 2 days post-childbirth, and another 11 lbs by 10 days post-childbirth. That would make me 10 lbs over my pre-preg weight. And that weight? Is proving to be tricky to get off. I blame the excessive boobage from breastfeeding! Not my chocolate habit, no never.

    A lot of the weight will just melt off in the first few weeks, it is quite amazing!


  9. You people are awesome. The only problem is, I was 10 pounds overweight to begin with. Which means I might come out of this 20 pounds overweight in the end.

    I read recently in one of those motherly type magazines that the woman from Desperate Housewives, the one who plays Bree, weighed 190 pounds by the time she gave birth. (She had twins, but still). She two weeks after giving birth, she weighed 150!!! Her doctor said it was the biggest weight drop he’s ever seen. :] Let’s hope, that even though i don’t have twins inside of me, and I wasn’t nearly as fit and skinny as she was, I will have a similar experience.

    Yeah, riiiiiight.


  10. I love your pregnancy updates. My boyfriend’s sister is due around the same time you are, and she’s pretty tight-lipped about how she’s feeling physically, so it’s nice to have this little window into what she might be going through.


  11. You want more? Oh, I can give you more. It’d be R rated, but I am happy to obliged. We can talk about the bathroom stuff or the dreams I’ve been having. We can talk about the shortness of breath, and the weird darkness forming around certain places that are boob related. We can talk about that, too. We can also discuss the pimples I have, the strange discoloration taking place on my face and arms. I can go into glorious detail about the REALLY weird stuff.

    I said this to my friend, Soung recently, “This is the most f*cked up thing I have ever done to my body.”


  12. I wonder if the desperate housewives woman had preeclampsia (no idea how to spell that). That is what I had with Simone. I put on 75 lbs with her but lost 35 of it in 10 days. You retain fluid like you wouldn’t believe and once you have the baby it just goes away. I had no neck or ankles or wrists. It was really attractive. Pregnancy is so weird.


  13. She was put on bed rest for a long, long time. Now that you mention it, I think that’s what I read.


  14. Oh the tales I can tell about the pregnancy weight….
    With Isabel I put on about 50lbs and then lost only half of that when I got pregnant with Aubrey. Now that she is 8 months old I am on a mission to get back to my pre-Isabel weight.
    I too took those gestational diabetes tests. For Isabel I failed the first test and had to go back for a more extensive test which involved fasting and then drinking that scary orange stuff and then having a blood test every hour for 3 hours! That was pure torture as I was starving and really hate needles. In then end I had a really big baby (10 lbs, 1oz) but no diabetes. For Aubrey I didn’t have to do a second test but she was a big baby too. (9lbs 6oz) I blame Mike for the size of my girls!

    The other comment I have about pregnancy weight was the lecture I got from my OB when I gained 11 pounds in one month! I remember leaving that appointment in tears and even considered changing doctors. But at that point I was in my 8th month and in the end decided not to. They way I feel is if you and the baby are healthy then you really have nothing to worry about. Once the baby arrives then you can slowly return to your workout routines.


  15. Here in the UK, they don’t weigh pregnant women at every visit anymore. They do advise that you gain between 25-35 pounds but they don’t monitor it, unless you are very over- or underweight. I think that is a nice approach! (Though I do monitor myself at home—can’t resist.)

    BTW, a friend of mine lost 25 pounds the week after her baby was born, so don’t fret. It might not be as bad as we think!


  16. I started coughing and peed on myself this morning.

    Ah the delicate flower that is pregnancy…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s