Yes, I totally just quoted a Whodini song.
Yesterday, was a really, really rough day for me. My head was all over the place. I wasn’t very pleasant to be around. I certainly wasn’t very pleasant to know. It sucked. I sucked. I should bury my head in the sand instead of attempting the social thing at all. Plus, as I’m certain some of you may have noticed, I totally freaked out on here yesterday. Ah well. I can’t undo that now as much as I’d like to.
Last night, we attended a going away party for Rion. While I visit her site often, and we email back and forth, up until last night, I hadn’t actually met her. When I received the invitation to see her and her husband off to Paris, I said I’d be there. We went. For the first half an hour, maybe more, I was frozen with fear, unable to introduce myself to anyone. We stood about 15 feet away. When did I turn into such a coward? In the end, after I got over whatever weirdness I made up, everything was fine. It was great to finally meet her.
We are supposed to go to D.C. this weekend. Lately, for reasons I can’t explain, I feel a little friendless. I really want to see Soung, David, Donald, James, Mike, Kyra (this list could go on and on). While I have the most understanding, patient, and loving husband alive, I need (and miss) my friends. And lately, I feel like they’re really far away from me.
The problem is, Amtrak costs a bloody fortune. (The cheapest tickets I could find were 376.00 and that had us arriving there tonight at around 11:30 PM and heading back on Sunday at either 8:00 AM or 7 PM.) I am having a difficult time justifying that much for so little visiting time. It’d be one thing if we had a three-day weekend. But we don’t. Soung suggested the bus. Actually, her email read:
It did take me 6 hours to get to Brooklyn but the trip back was better. It feels long but if you have a book and music or sudoku puzzles then I still think it’s worth it.
To which I replied:
(I kind of already knew what they were but only because it seems that all of New York’s commuters are trying to complete these damn puzzles. I just didn’t know their name. I’m cursing Soung, however, because after she mentioned them, I downloaded a bunch and now I’m hooked.)
We contemplated driving as well. But traffic is usually horrid all the way from New York City, through Jersey, and into D.C. Plus, the car would run us almost 300.00 dollars. I’m not about to drive ours all that way. Especially since I still haven’t gotten it inspected. Which is another reason why I suck.
So, we’re not sure what to do. And I feel lonely and I feel like I failed. And I’m annoyed with myself and I feel like throwing this site in the trash sometimes. And I’m angry that I very nearly did yesterday and I’m unsure why it even matters.
I had a mind steeping with the desire to sit around talking tea and sipping life. And I so enjoy doing that with Soung.
I feel a little empty today. I welcome spring.