Who Would Win in a Fight?

Last night, while riding the MTA home, I was pondering some of the most brilliant questions I have ever had.

Who do you think would win in a fight?

VerizonMan?

Or SprintMan?

My money is on SprintMan. The trenchcoat is a much tougher jacket choice than the mechanic’s jacket. And monkeys are cool and all with the poo-flinging, but weiner dogs? Weiner dogs are awesome. I have a feeling SprintMan could sway Mrs. Zeta Jones into joining him in that trenchcoat. Sidekick, indeed. However, if Vader shows up, we’re all screwed.

If SprintMan could use Cingular man as a weapon, his chances are even better. He’s kinda shaped like a throwing star drawn with pasta noodle.

I’m betting on SprintMan. Final answer.

15 Comments

  1. Ah, but Sprint Man looks like a gentleman. He wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would he?

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  2. My money’s on Catherine Zeta-Jones. I’m certain she could at least kick Verizon guy’s ass six ways to Sunday. I could kick his ass. (He is kinda cute, though.)

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  3. I agree, Sprint man would be a lock. Besides that he is friendlier. He actually talks to folks and helps them with their wireless needs, while verizon man is an autistic mess who has always reminded me of Rain man. (“Can you hear me now? Can you year me now? Wopner’s on at three. Definitely three.”)

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  4. I’d like to kick Verizon Man’s as on account of that awful logo I have to see about a hundred and fifty times a day.

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  5. Zac, hilarious.
    And amen, Donald. We can see the one on the side of Verizon building in lower Manhattan from our dining room window. We live in Brooklyn. That’s one hell of a powerful logo, not entirely unlike the Batman symbol come to think of it. hmmmmm

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  6. Verizon man. He’s pissed, and a lot scrappier than that prissy Sprint man. Just tell V-man “No, I can’t hear you now.” and he’ll snap.

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  7. sprint man – without a doubt – verizon man is a big fat liar and would just whine his way through the ring…can you hear me now, MY ASS!

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  8. It’s gotta be Sprintman. Everyone knows a guy in glasses can’t hit.

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  9. I have to go with Verizon man, because I find him strangely erotic.

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  10. I have to go with Verizon man because I think Sprint man would trip over his jacket during the scrap. Though, I’d have to see what type of shoes the two were wearing. The person with docs would have my vote.

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  11. chirp
    What about the gay guys dancing to Salt-n-Pepa?
    chirp

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  12. ::chirp::
    their enemies always hear them coming
    ::chirp::
    yellow is the new band of moron
    ::chirp::

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  13. Verizon man would win. He would obviously “can you hear me now” to death the Sprint man.

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  14. If they ever fight, i’m waiting until one knocks the other out and then jumping in to finish them both off. I get almost no service on my sprint phone, and verizon kept doing sketchy stuff on my billing. I hope they all die horrible deaths.

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  15. But VerizonMan has the punk rock glasses. You just know he came from a tough crowd. SprintMan is just way too corporate.

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