Last night, Soung, David, Jim and I headed out to the 9:30 Club to see Beep Beep, TV on the Radio and The Faint. As we arrive, Beep Beep is playing. I can hear them from the door. We show the door guys our I.D.s, our tickets, and let them search through whatever bags we might be carrying. I am in a separate line from the three of them. And my line happens to be slower. Once they get through, they wait for me on the other side, just inside the swinging doors leading to the main floor area.

Jim is a nice looking gent. Jim is 34. He’s tall and pretty fit. He has a shaved head (due to male pattern baldness. I think.) Actually, he looks almost exactly like David. (You can find a picture of David here.)

Nutshell: Jim is alright.

So there they wait. And I finally get through the line. As I’m nearing them, I see a barely dressed woman with HUGE boobs stuffed into what looks to be a spandex running bra like two loaves of under-cooked white bread. But it’s not a running bra. And I’m willing to bet that under certain black lights you can see the faint “fuck-me” pattern embroidered onto it (pardon my language).

She has on a scandulously short jean mini-skirt. It’s entirely too tight for her butt cheeks. Her legs are busting out from below it like a can of Pilsbury dough that explode as you peel back the thin piece of cardboard. The cans I am so very terrified of opening. Her hair is blond. She is COVERED in make-up. It’s as if someone took a garden hose filled with the colors of Loreal and sprayed her face with it. She’s probably about 22 or 23. She approaches Jim, who is standing near the wall. She puts her hands on his chest and begins to rub his man boobs. She says, “I see you standing here. You’re just standing here. Why are you all alone? Standing here? Are you lonely?” Her hands move to his back. (Later, he will tell us, “I thought to myself, ‘maybe I know this girl? Do I know this girl?’ “).

She continues to rub. She sees me and suddenly says, “Oh, nevermind, oops. Oops.” I look at David and Soung who are steps ahead of Jim. Judging by their faces, they too are wondering what in the hell is going on. I move to them, fearing I may have interrupted something. Pilsbury continues to whisper in his ear and touch his chest.

I guess Jim finally realizes that he has no idea who this girl is and continues on with us up the stairs.

A bit later, after having made an earplug run, I meet back up with them by the upstairs bar. As I’m nearing Soung, I see she is engaged in conversation. I walk up and she introduces me to Nose Ring. Nose Ring takes my hand in the most disturbing, limp-wristed way. Soung turns back to David and leaves me with Nose Ring. Nose Ring is about 22 as well. She works with David but he barely knows her. (The word ‘crazy’ came out of his mouth later.) She begins saying stuff to me in a most husky voice. Her tongue sexually molests every word exiting her lips. These are the only words I remember:

• Faint
• Hot
• Sexy
• Miami
• Friend
• Absolutely
• Like
• Hot

I nod a lot. She grows bored with me and meets back up with her friend, Pilsbury. Pilsbury has her arms around two men at the bar. Pilsbury and Nose Ring know one another, go figure. Pilsbury is ready to dry hump the barstool. Nose Ring sidles up beside her. And then, just like one of those scenes in a movie where the person looks around and suddenly puts everything together (The Faint, Horny 22 year old girls, Random groping, Half-naked, Slobbery voices, Weird hand gestures, The Faint, dry humping barstool). It occurs to me. These two young ladies are on the GenEx (is that what they’re called? I’m not even sure.) drug of choice, E. Later, Jim, comes to the same conclusion entirely on his own.

Not one of us had ever done E. Does E really make people randy? Does it do this? If so, why? How? We spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out what our generations equivalent was. Was there a now 30+ year old equivalent drug to E? I do wonder.

Abstinence, George? You’re crazy.