Misery Loves Company

May 4, 2004

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We managed to get a lot of packing done yesterday. But there’s still so much more to go. And in the midst of all this, I’m trying to figure out what we might need to live on in a car for one week and in an empty, west coast apartment for (possibly) another two. That’s not fun. I should make better lists.

(Again, I promise to post pictures before we head off. There’s so much to do. I still have papers to grade!)

After the huge headache and many non-binding, over-priced quotes, we decided to go with City to City Moving. I wasn’t aware that they offer loading as well as hauling. So we decided to pack on our own and pay them to do the rest. Now the only thing that could and might fall through is if some assclown parks in our reserved parking spots. Best to say that it’s probably a bad idea for anyone to park there. Toby knows stuff about things to do about stuff.

Today, we pack some more dishes and miscellaneous crap. Tucker has already been removed from two boxes. If he ends up in one of those blue bins, I will not be surprised.

At some point yesterday during the hours following dusk it occurred to me that I’m actually moving across the country. And I know that I sound as if I’ve been overreacting lately but this idea, that sentence, its reality, scares the living shit out of me. It’s worse at night when I lie down for sleep. But if either one of us are unfortunate to wake up in the middle of the night, it’s terrifying.

So today I’m going to operate using the misery loves company mentality and seek answers. This is for anyone who might be reading. What is the furthest distance you ever moved? Was it scary? Did it last? Lastly, today, how far away are you from your family?

Comments

29 responses to “Misery Loves Company”

calvo

May 4, 2004

my family did a lot of moving when we were growing up ‘cause my father was in the air force (hawaii > texas > nebraska > illinois > new hampshire > illiniois > new hampshire (not a typo)).

the biggest distance I’ve ever moved myself, though, is from new hampshire to dc. it wasn’t bad at all ‘cause I had friends here.

this puts my family about 550 miles away.

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Dan

May 4, 2004

In 1986, at the age of 24, I moved from Pittsburgh, Pennsyltucky to northern Virginia. At the time, it was the scariest and bravest thing I had ever done. I knew 4 people in the whole metropolitan area – 2 let me stay with them until I found a place.
Eighteen years later, I know it is the best move I ever made. I would be dead from boredom if I had stayed.
Moving to a new city is terrifying, but can change your life in wonderful ways.
Good luck in California. The only problem is you have to drive WEST to get to the beach. I just don’t get that at all.

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GotJesus?

May 4, 2004

My family moved a lot when I was a kid. MA to NJ to KY to NJ. When I graduated college I packed up my few belongings and moved to Buffalo, where I have remained (while I was in NJ, my parents moved to FL).

But my family is with me in Buffalo. I have a wife now, and 3 children, and 2 cats and a dog. Some members of my family are closer (by coincidence my sister moved to buffalo a year ago, but my parents are still in FL—my in-laws are here).

I guess what I’m trying to say is, SOME members of your family are going to be far away, but YOUR FAMILY is moving to San Francisco. You already have friends and acquaintances there, lots of support structures, and a group of online friends to offer advice, comfort, entertainment, and encouragement.

It is important to remember that at this moment, when you are physically tired and facing a lot of hard work, that your brain is going to play tricks on you. When part of you is begging for rest, your brain will send everything into overdrive by coming up with startling revelations. But the fact remains that events will unfold at their own pace. There will be time to eat, sleep, breathe. Take a deep breath, smile, and ask yourself … ok, what’s next? and then do it. If you start to freak out, take a moment to realize “heh, I’m freaking out again. Is that on the ‘to-do’ list?”

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momhow

May 4, 2004

Emails, cell-phones, pictures, a $400 plane trip, your mihow site; we’re not all that far away from you. GotJesus is right…take a deep breath. I promise you, once you get in that car and head out you’ll be surprised how much better you will feel. It’s a long car ride, be good to each other!

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mihow

May 4, 2004

I know! It is long! But honestly, (and I mean this, biased aside) you couldn’t ask for a better passenger than Toby. He plays music, keeps everything in check, navigates and he barely has to pee (ok that part is a lie. He pees often.) I’m actually looking forward to the drive even if our cats end up hating us.
During the day, I’m totally fine. As is Toby. It’s the evening that does it. I wish I knew exactly why. I’m sure it’s like that for many people.

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momhow

May 4, 2004

Ah yes, night time. I think our brain gets to settle down and it tends to pick out only the most pressing thoughts to bring to the surface.

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greg

May 4, 2004

pittsburgh to osaka japan. 18 hour flight, alone to a land where i didn’t know anyone or speak the language. plus i only took one large dufflebag. you’re gonna do fine, you’re taking your man and your stuff (even though it may be delayed) sounds like an adventure if you ask me!!!!

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mihow

May 4, 2004

Greg! I remember when you moved to Japan. Actually, I have thought about that time often as of late. I remember your mother threw a HUGE party, each room in your house was decorated for each holiday you’d be gone, trying to make up for future time. It was incredible. I remember your dad got you so intoxicated making you drink saki every time a new person showed up.

Good times. Awesome times. I’d go back again in a second.

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mpap

May 4, 2004

DC to Jakarta. Scary is not the word; more like “accelerated living.”

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greg

May 4, 2004

funny thing is, i was just looking at the pictures the other day………..we all looked so young. not like we’re looking wornout or anything, but that was 9 years ago!

now i’ll have somewhere to stay if i ever make it to cali…hint hint hint! if that’s cool with you.

eddie says hi

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Arjen

May 4, 2004

The furthest I moved was from Holland to San Francisco in 1997, then back to Holland 4 months later, Then to Detroit for two years in 1998, then to New York City in 2000, then back to Holland in 2002 then to Massachusetts last December.

Sounds crazy writing it down like that.

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mihow

May 4, 2004

greg, you can come to San Fran any time you would like. As a matter of fact, we’ll pick you up on our way there on Friday. How does 7 p.m. sound to you? you down for a cross-country roadtrip? You can live with us too. We have two bedrooms and it’s a dog friendly city.

I’ll call when we’re close. :]

Arjen, you’re crazy! That is quite a resume there!

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chele

May 4, 2004

i live less than 2 miles away from my immediate family, and i haven’t seen or spoken to them in 5 years (because i’m the ‘bad girl’ – but that’s another story!)
my family of choice lives 150 miles away, and i see and/or talk to them every other week.
…just to put the whole miles/closeness thing into perspective for ya.
:-)

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Megan

May 4, 2004

Milwaukee to Oxford, England for me, but that doesn’t really count since there was a definite “start” and a definite “stop” time.

I guess otherwise Milwaukee to Detroit, and we all know how i felt about that moving trip, so no need to go into that. ;)

The world is a lot smaller than maybe you’re thinking. It may seem so far away, but the fact that I can be in DC 6 PM, and back in Chicago in my bed by 10:30 PM proves it to me…

Greg, will your family adopt me? That party sounds like so much fun. :)

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greg

May 4, 2004

megan, i’m sure they would, but if i were you, i wouldn’t sign anything too soon…….leave yourself an “out” if you need it. : )

michele, i am almost ready for a long trip and so is eddie…..i think he would live in the car if he had his way, i can’t keep the little bastard out of there! i’ve found that it’s easier (and safer) just to take him with me wherever i go rather than try “not” to run over his head as i back out of the driveway. in his old age, he’s decided to pic up some bad habbits, like biting tires. do you remember when i got him? i do, like it was yesterday….regret’d it ever since! just kidding.

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Cat

May 4, 2004

Ok Here goes….
Born in Maryland…moved to another part of Maryland, moved to Harrisburg PA, moved to Philly PA, moved to Clearwater FL, moved to Atlanta GA, moved to Aarschot, Belgium, moved back to Atlanta, moved to Den Haag, The Netherlands, moved back to Atlanta, moved to Frederick Maryland, Moved to Wash. DC, moved to Centreville, Virginia, moved to San Francisco…..Damn I moved a lot!!!
The hardest one was to Begium when I was 18 and I went by myself and didn’t speak a word of Flemish…I can speak it now!
I am currently living about 2800 miles from my extended family. I am living here in San Fran with my husband, daughter and two crazy cats……Whom you will meet when you guys get here!!!! :O)

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mihow

May 4, 2004

::falls down::

Greg, of course I remember when you got that cute bastard. He is the best. He has that hiccup thing too. Does he still do that? I was not aware of him biting your tires. I guess he just don’t want that big dog to run faster than him. I understand.

Ok, so we’ll be there at 7. See you then!

Cat, I will calculate my moves when we get back from buying boxes in the zipcar. You probably have me beat entirely (not that it’s a race or contest) but I might come close. I can’t wait to meet your family in a few weeks.

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greg

May 4, 2004

here’s a laugh, it’s the opposite of this little thread…….i could possibly be the person who has moved the “shortest” distance the largest number of times!……when i was 15 i lived at a house on a double lot and my father built a new house next door. so with snow on the ground jan 26th, we carried everything from one house to the other without a mover(because that would have been rediculous right!) well, we lived in that house 1.5 yrs as my dad decided to build another one around the corner……well, the one we were in was sold before the other one finished…….but get this…..the buyers of our first house were transplanted to the midwest yet didn’t sell the house so it was vacant. they had become friends of the family while they were there and offered for us to “temporarily” move back into our first house………so we did!!!!……….i don’t know what’s worse moving all of your posessions through the snow or through the blisteringly-muggy summer…i’d have to go with, they both suck! i was the butt of many joke in my hogh school for that. finally after 3 months in the old house, we had to leave the old old house and move to grandma’s 1 mile away, still no mover…..4 months after that we finally moved in to the new house.

i took this idiocy to state college with me many years later (after japan) when i moved from NYC to state college for a job and michele was nice enough to let me stay on the floor for a while. 7XX west beaver(? michele help me here) and then 4 months later i moved 2 doors down to 7XX west beaver into our friend’s place for 3 months and then i moved one block to 834 west beaver where i did actually stay for three years.

i’m tired of moving so i bought a house! i don’t live there, i i do have a house!!!!!! : )

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gina

May 4, 2004

i agree that short moves are worse than long moves, maybe b/c it seems like less of a big deal. it took me over 3 months to completely move from my last place into my current apartment. totally absurd.
and just for the record:
cincinnati (18 yrs, 1 house) to new orleans (2 yrs, 1 dorm, 1 apartment) to boston (1 yr, 3 apts) back to new orleans (2 apts) to new york (3 apts) to ferndale (1 yr) to detroit (15 months) to hamtramck (past 4 months).
ugh. thinking about moving makes me tired. but i can’t imagine not knowing the people that i have met & become friends with along the way.

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Lake

May 4, 2004

You may be scared and nervous – but think of all you will see and do that those of us who have NEVER lived outside of PA (okay, except for one summer in Boston, and one in OC,NJ) won’t. I’m so envious and excited for you – and wishing I had half the nerve to do what you are.

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tobyjoe

May 4, 2004

lake – you forgot to mention that she gets to do all of that with ME!

i switched schools something like 20 times. i’ve lived all over georgia, in providence, in nyc (chinatown + bklyn), and in DC. my family has stayed, for the most part, in the same town south of atlanta. my sister left today. she’s slowly realizing that flight is simple and fairly cheap and that it doesn’t matter where i am if i’m within a short flight.

i’ve never really had problems moving. i never form terribly strong attachments or let sentimentality take over. i do appreciate things, but until there’s an atomic blast, i know it’s all still there…

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mihow

May 4, 2004

Greg, you could put the Door to Door in Door to Door.

here’s mine: 1 year—Freehold, NJ.
4 years—Wilmington, DE.
5 years—New Cumberland, PA.
4.5 years—Raleigh, NC.
5 years—State College, PA (moved like 7 times locally)
.6 mos—Manchester, England
3 years—State College PA (moved 3 times locally)
2 months—Washington, DC (long story)
2 months—NYC
2.5 years—Washington, D.C. (moved twice locally)
2 years—Brooklyn NYC (moved twice locally)
2 years—Washington, D.C. (moved twice locally)
(give or take a few months here and there.)

Next up: San Francisco.

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Arjen

May 4, 2004

Dus, CAT, U spreekt Nederlands?

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Cat

May 4, 2004

Ja, Ik kan nederlands nog!

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mihow

May 4, 2004

Hoken in the Koken!

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Cat

May 4, 2004

Arjen:
I can read, speak and understand Nederlands but when it comes to writing, that is a whole other thing. It has been more than 10 years that I have had to write in Dutch…..

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greg

May 4, 2004

well……i still think you guys are lucky! i live in a horrible place and wish i were able to go somewhere different. until i sell the house, i’m sorta stuck here and trying to make the best of it! another thing, it looks like the two of you together have more experience in moving then the rest of us combined…….it’ll be like sleepin’ on sundays!

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Megan

May 4, 2004

Mihow is hilarious.

Hoken in the Koken?

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Marjorie

May 4, 2004

mine lives in Cleveland (god knows why!) and i saw them with my eyes only 3 times during all four years of medical school in Altanta. we are a bunch of 6, so it hard to get everyone together. as I get old (28!) i miss them more. especially my youngest brother, who is freshly 21 and we haven’t been out drinking yet!

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