NPR is making me crazy

I think NPR might be making me crazy. First I get West Nile Virus, then I get all hooked on phonics with NPR. I have it on daily. I used to listen to Stern, but I found I pay too much attention to him, so that had to stop. Now I have NPR on. And it sort of sits in the background. Sometimes I pay more attention, sometimes less, mostly less. Well, I am finding that some of the information I am not really listening to is seeping into my head and it’s coming out in ways not entirely normal. For example, I keep thinking I had conversations I never had, when in all actuality, it’s that I sort of listened to one on NPR. Yesterday, they discussed a lizard named Otis (I think it was a lizard, though I have no idea as I barely heard it. And I don’t know why they were discussing Otis, I wasn’t listening) and today I was telling a guy here at work that I knew someone with a lizard named… and then I stopped. None of this is true. I know no lizards. And what if I become religious? Yesterday they spoke about God and Alcoholism. Again, I was only slightly there. What do folks do about this NPR phenomenon? I’m being brainwashed by NPR.


  1. It’s a liberal plot!!!! If you play the new Elvis CD backwards, you’ll get the answers.


  2. National Public Radio.

    All the news that’s fit to bore me to death. But at least there are no commercials, just our wonderful tax money at work.


  3. You know Michele, you could always turn it off. That’ll stop the voices in the radio, but probably not the chorus of lunatics in your head.


  4. I happen to like NPR. Not as much as Howard Stern, but I like it ok. Sometimes it’s freaky boring, I must admit. Sometimes it makes me want to shake the announcers. To each their own, robert. I am bored to tears by sports programs on the radio. Bored. To. Tears. :)


  5. Is that why you were crying when I dropped you off at the metro this morning?

    Absolutley, to each their own.

    I occasionaly have NPR on in the car, but Melissa usually asks me to turn on sports talk so that I will stop screaming profanities at the NPR stories.

    NPR – Howard Stern
    Howard Stern – NPR

    My sister, the split personality. (Which is a compliment, by the way.)


  6. Now they’re playing blues music. Blues music.

    I must turn this off. It’s too distracting.

    I love Howard Stern. He’s to poo.


  7. “He’s to poo.”

    Is this an SAT question?

    Stern is to poo as

    A. NPR is to unbiased
    B. Pope is to Catholic
    C. Shmitty is to slim and sleek
    D. All of the above
    E. None of the above
    F. Why don’t you tell me the movie you wish to see.

    Bonus points to anyone who knows what F is a reference to.


  8. And yes, I’m bored today.


  9. Bonus points? For that? It should be negative points if you don’t know it. But, major bonus points to whomever can tell me what hs teacher of mine would give out negative points.

    And yes, I do know the answer. Look where I live.


  10. “(s)He’s the poo. Take a big whiff.”

    —Torrance, “Bring It On”


  11. Yuppie! Ooh, ooh ooh! I know. Was it Doc Wilkinson?


  12. no fair, no fair; I gave him the answer


  13. You gave me the name – I already had the answer. Now, we need to get the yuppie to say it’s correct.


  14. Hey Rob, if you’re bored enough… wanna pick my poo up at the Metro? Or should I try and figure out your bus schedule again. :)

    I’ll buy you dinner. Or, at the very least, give you half the cash I give the cabby.

    Actually, when do you drive by? I’ll make sure I’m there. Yes. Indeed.


  15. I’ll leave work around 5, which should get me to the metro around 5:20.

    If you want to be picked up, call me at work and let me know.


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