Toni's Tits

I saw Ton(i)’s breasts today. The other day, when I signed up for the gym membership a very tall, blond woman did all my paperwork. She was bubbly. She’s an Australian import (she married a New Yorker and moved here).

I just love it! LOVE IT!!

she raved.

I LUUUVE IT

She was super done up in a killer, John Waters style make-up, jewels from far away lands, shoes of a high pricey brand, and crazy blond, curly, big hair. She even had her lips injected, for the

I give great head

look. She had a presence, she did. And liked to flick around her bracelets like they were noise makers. (I am thrown off by shiny things. It’s true. I like them especially if they make sounds). She had shiny, sound makers around her neck. And she was orange, so the silver really stood out. They draped downward. They fell between a perfectly formed crease we all call cleavage.

There is NO WAY they’re real!

I said to Robyn a coworker who came along for the signing.

Yes, they were totally fake. Her lips were as well.

They DIDN’T EVEN MOVE.

Maybe they’re like that from all the working out.

She joked.

Today I saw Toni’s tits. And I’m not even sure I know what I’m looking for. Is the absence of flaw enough? How about the fact they really don’t move? Is her desire to show them off a clue? I think it was Jerry Sienfeld who said you have to feel them and I while I have no desire to do so by molesting her in the steam room (which is where I saw her entering) I am sure I am right. It’s amazing the levels people will go to. (Not me, her). :)

8 Comments

  1. You really should ask her about them. She sounds like the kind of person who would tell you, in detail and at length. And then you could write about it here.

    By the way, you write that you are thrown off by shiny things that make noise. This is for your own safety: there is a person staying at our house in LBI who, when drinking, likes to put on a bikini and belly dancing chains that sparkle and jingle. She has two extra sets, and if you are paralyzed by the sight and sound, you will not be able to escape as I did last year. Poor Claire was frozen like a deer in headlights and ended up being forced into some bizarre bellydancing ritual that traumatized her for three weeks. Keep this in mind.

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  2. just admit you are so fascinated because you want to touch her boobs…

    :P

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  3. My last boss had fake breasts.
    I learned this from the other co-workers
    shortly after being hired.
    I had alot of issues with not being able to not look at them and wonder what the deal was with them. She then had a baby and breast fed in the office. And leaked alot.
    It was odd.

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  4. I’m all for fake breasts if that’s what you want. I personally don’t care for them, but even so, I can’t stop staring at fake boobs. Perfect nipple placement. Shiny and round. They keep the same shape out of the bra as they do in the bra. They are an enigma to me.

    Personally, I like real breasts because they are a much nicer shape…a teardrop rather than a sphere. I would be more inclined to touch real boobs than fake ones…if I were inclined to touch boobs at all. But since I own a pair of real boobs, I know what they feel like. I do wonder if the fake ones are hard or what. They look hard. Does anyone know?

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  5. I AM ONLY SPEAKING FROM SECONDHAND KNOWLEDGE…but, I’ve heard that more recent implants are teardrop shaped and more pliable.

    Whether or not this is true, I do not know.

    Which is why Mihow needs to go on a fact-finding mission.

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  6. Consider it done. Next time I see her I will ask her about them. If, of course I’m either A) drunk
    B) she prompts me by bouncing up and down.
    C) I’m feeling extra brave that day and there’s no chance on being thrown out forever.

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  7. My wife has implants. She got them during the course of our current marriage. I told her not to get them. Not that I object to fake boobs, ‘cuz I certainly don’t, but I was worried about the surgical procedure and I didn’t want her to get hurt. I married her with her small breasts & I liked them fine. But she got them. I only have knowledge of fake boobs from hers, no one elses, but the breast augmentation turned out great! They look real enough,…not hard…firm though. Firmer than real breasts. Nice shape to them too. She likes them. Clothes fit and hang on her better, she likes buying pretty bras and tops.

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  8. hello i hate them but i love how is that

    Reply

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