Ok. Car or no car. Do I bid or not bid. This is too much. I go back and forth between thinking,
Hey, you only live once. Just do it. It’s just money.
And saying,
It’s money. (Money). And it’s an old car and you will have to put money into it. And you might run over a bird or something. And cars are mean.
I don’t know what to do. For a long time, I thought it would be great if I didn’t drink so much and smoke so much and I took better care of myself and got some exercise. And now I have accomplished all of that. So I’m also thinking I deserve it—you know as some stupid reward. I’m thinking, if you calculate the amount of money I once spent on booze and cigarettes you would have yourself three cars. Ugh. What to do. Others have real problems and decisions to make (I know this) mine is just silly. It’s just a car. But it’s mine. And we can all be selfish bitches at times. What to do. What. To. Do. :)


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