With age, I am learning, seems to come this weird need for minimal amounts of control. I think it happens to people as they realize that life is basically spinning just slightly out of control at all times. So what does one do? We might as well settle for all those freakish little things.
Can’t control the traffic or the length of your commute?
Outlet: Mash the elevator button 153 times when I have already hit it once and I’m standing there, patiently waiting, ahead of you.
You might lose your job?
Outlet: Make sure you stay in that exact spot on the subway, blocking any new comers from getting on to the train. Don’t give that up, if you do then you will surely have nothing.
The life you’re living is going nowhere?
Outlet: The next time someone asks for directions, give them the BEST directions you can. If you’re angry, take your time, and send them somewhere else.
Your boss hasn’t given you a raise in over a year?
Outlet: Stand, on the very edge of the subway platform, grunt, moan, bicker, and complain after every lean into the direct path of the oncoming train. realizing that train, it ain’t comin yet.
Cuz these things? You think you can control them. But even the little things are just little moons slightly out of whack and off their axis in the big chaotic, out of control universe called life.


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