What Lies Below (TWM 103)

We’re away for the week, trying to get our heads in a better place. My brother and his girlfriend are staying at our place in Brooklyn so they have been tasked with taking care of our fatties.

The road to feeling normal again is proving to be a slow and rather hilly one. I go hours and hours where everything is fine and then BAM! something completely random triggers the anxiety or sorrow and I’m  a mess all over again. But I am healing. I went a whole three days without crying, which is pretty amazing for me.

On one particularly difficult day, I missed Murray something fierce. So I wrote to my brother and told him I needed to see the little guy as soon as possible. We received a video within hours. And even though I never actually got to see Murray, the video cheered me up. This is a regular occurrence at our house.

I hope you enjoy it too!


  1. Ha! We have a similar ritual called “helping to make the bed” in which the cats do their best to prevent the sheets from making it into place. It’s pretty much the best reason to change the sheets that we have found.


  2. It’s been almost a month since my miscarriage, and I’m dealing with the same thing, although less often than before. This is a two steps forward, one step back kind of process, I think.

    Cute cats really do seem to help, though.


  3. Sarah: I am going to if you don’t mind.


  4. Ugh. I am going to EMAIL you. I am so out of it. Forgive.


  5. Visit this site dooce.com. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone in your feelings and experiences.


  6. You better watch it. This is the very reason that all of my sheets have holes in them. :-)


  7. Also, you’ll feel better when you feel better. There’s no timer on grief, and nothing that says you can’t cry everyday until you’re good and done crying.

    And you WILL eventually be done crying.

    Enjoy your week away. :-)


  8. What a cool brother you have–and maybe kinda nerdy using a USB cord to provoke the cat, ha!

    Feel better soon, Michele. It’s really sucky that you have to go through this. A friend of mine went through the exact same thing last summer–she was pregnant all summer long and had just hit the 12-week mark and started to tell people when she miscarried. Like you, she also had another young child. At the time she said she hadn’t been all that attached to the pregnancy but since then (it’s been a year), it’s seemed to come out in other small ways. It’s probably good that you are really wading into your feelings now. It sucks but will hopefully speed up the healing process.

    Lots of luck and good wishes.


  9. The email sever has been devouring stuff lately, so I just wanted to let you know, in case you did try to send something. If you didn’t, that’s okay too. It’s such a strange ride we’re on – I can’t count how many letters I’ve started to my aunt and grandmother, and have decided not to send. What do you say, you know?


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