Murray is perfect. I don’t want this post to give you the wrong impression. But even perfect beings fart. And lately, our perfect being has been farting a lot.
This is entirely Toby Joe’s fault. He decided to pick up a few new varieties of Weruva. Usually, Murray and Tucker eat Paw Lickin’ Chicken, Grandma’s Chicken Soup, Mediterranean Harvest, and Polynesian BBQ. But this time, Toby Joe came home with On The Cat Wok.
While I can’t back up the following highly scientific information, I don’t think wild house-cats were meant to hunt and eat cows. So I have always operated under the assumption that beef isn’t a part of their diet. Fish? Sure. (Although a vet recently told us that cats aren’t supposed to eat fish either.) Chicken? While it’d be a cold day in hell before one of my cats take down a chicken, it’s not completely out of this world for a cat to take down a chicken. Pig? Not likely. (Dear Weruva, if you do come up with a pork variety, I might suggest the name “Swine Chew”.) And bovine? Cow? While hilarious to imagine—no way.
Weruva’s On The Cat Wok contains a little shredded beef.
This isn’t the first time this has happened either. No. A few years ago, whenever Murray was a wee one, Toby Joe decided to bring home a couple of cans of Merrick’s Cowboy Cookout.
Hoooo boy! They should have just called it Blazing Saddles.
Our small creature, who did not yet weigh a single pound, was able to clear out an entire room. No joke. His farts were so bad they actually oiled the air.
So beef? No.
But I tried again, thinking maybe Murray outgrew all the gas and the farting. I was wrong. Last night, as I scooped him up just like I do every night to give him belly and face kisses, he farted. Only this wasn’t just an olfactory sensation. I tasted it.
And, Internet? It nearly killed me.
But he’s still perfect. They all are. They just shouldn’t eat beef.
And while we’re on the subject, fellow humans, turkeys should not be stuffed with ducks stuffed with chickens.