For the first week of Emory’s life he slept in the crib in his bedroom. It’s a nice crib. We purchased an expensive organic mattress and some breathable bumpers to go with it. I put him down at night, turned on the baby monitor, and we’d settle in as well.
And then something happened. And that something is called the Pack ‘N Play.
A week after we brought Emory home, my mother had the awesome idea of putting together the Pack ‘N Play so we could have an uninterrupted meal with Emory nearby. TobyJoe put it together, including the top bassinet for smaller creatures. That was the end of Emory sleeping in his crib.
Emory has been sleeping in the Pack ‘N Play ever since, a wheeled piece of furniture we like to call “The Baby Mobile”. And for 11 weeks it has been stationed not inches away from my head at night. (The picture below was taken right after he was born.)
I never let him spend too much time in The Baby Mobile during the day because I have this theory (based on no scientific evidence whatsoever) that if I save sleep routines for sleep, my baby will “get it” whenever it comes time to do just that. For example, we never swaddled him unless he was going to bed at night. And we never put him in The Baby Mobile for very long during the day.
Emory weighed 12 pounds, 3 ounces at his last pediatric appointment. It was at that point I realized that we were running out of time. You see, The Baby Mobile’s top bassinet feature has a cap of 15 pounds. And at the rate Emory’s growing, I know we are quickly approaching the day he’ll outgrow the bassinet. So we decided to make the transition now. What I didn’t know was how hard it was going to be for me to let him go.
On Monday night Emory returned to his crib. Which means I no longer get to listen to his farts live. Instead, they are broadcast over a small speaker that dangles next to my head. And that’s so sad, amplified farts. No one should have to live this way.
He’s been OK about it. I usually have to rock him to sleep. (That happened only rarely before.) And putting him down doesn’t usually take the first time. And he doesn’t yet sleep through the night. (He was closer to doing that whenever he slept in The Baby Mobile. I think I threw him off with this whole crib switch.) But I can deal with that. I’m OK with getting up at night. The thing is, ever since he moved out of The Baby Mobile and into the crib I’ve been having pretty horrible nightmares. And I wake up in a cold sweat. If you’d call it “waking up” at all because I’m convinced I never actually fall to sleep anymore, which is probably why I now remember all of my dreams and nightmares.
But my question isn’t about the nightmares or how to make him sleep through the night. My question is if I’m suffering from separation anxiety and he’s only in the next room how the hell am I going to deal with being away from him for a whole 24-hours when we attend The Barbarian Group Christmas party in Boston this year and he stays with my mother? And what will happen whenever he goes off to preschool or kindergarten? And, oh my god, college? This is why people have more kids, isn’t it.
What am I going to do when he grows up?