My Recent Google Searches. (Unedited)

Every now and again I find it amusing to go back and look through what I searched for in Google. I find it especially amusing because of the searches that lead people to this site. For example, in the last 10 minutes, people found by searching for the following terms: “man with vagina”, “is empathy better than sympathy”, “pooped my pants”, “boobs suck”, and “ass”.

Here are just a few of the things I searched for recently.

1). When will my baby hold his head up?

2). my baby makes weird noises

3). my baby has swollen breasts

4). Nipples are purple pumping

5). oh Don Piano

6). Depression after Pregnancy

7). Why does my baby fart so much?

8). Raynaud’s Syndrome

9). asparagus make breastmilk taste funny?

10). dave Letterman’s wife

11). Dick in a box lyrics

12). gentian violet safe for babies

13). How long can expressed milk be left out?

14). Baby Soft Spot accidentally pressed

15). Can you sit down while wearing the Baby Bjorn

P.S. I wrote out this entire post while pumping breastmilk. Tobyjoe made me a hands free pump holder using an old sports bra. Picture the 1990s version of Madonna only remove the hotness, replace the booby contraption with plastic Medela breast horns, and picture a lot more cow.


  1. yup. But a little too pricey for my blood. Well, that’s not true. It’s just that we figured we’d try something free first. And it worked! For now. :] TJ should modify sports bras and sell ‘em to all lactating ladies who like to pump.


  2. I googled nine out of your fifteen at some point in the last year. purple nipples – fine, farting – unbelievable but fine, i heard 4 hours at room temp, thought my thumb went into her brain, all of it. did you hear jt won an emmy for his little ditty?

    way to go on the hands-free scene!


  3. The farting is unbelievable indeed. I also think it’s the greatest secret. TJ and I were NOT warned about the farting. Who knew babies farted so much? And who knew it was so damned stinky? Nuts!

    I was also never warned about the back pain.

    I did hear about jt! So awesome. That was one of the funniest moments on TV ever. Ever.

    I have gotten mixed messages about breastmilk being out. One book they gave me at the hospital said 7 to 9 hours at room temp. I try and keep it down to four as well, tho.


  4. I didn’t know babies farted (audibly). I figured they were the SBD kind. :)


  5. My niece, who just turned 5, was nicknamed “Rockets” (short for “Rockets in your pockets”) for the first 6 months of her life due to the farting.


  6. Gabe’s farts could be heard through a closed door while the TV was on. Travis and I could not believe how gassy that guy was. It totally cracked us up.

    BTW, did you receive the package we sent to you??


  7. Julie! Yes, thank you!!!! I need to get around to thanking everyone personally. We did indeed get the package and the sizes were/are awesome. We don’t have much clothing for that size range. :]

    Also, the shoes? Can’t wait to put them on him!

    Yes, Emory is a farter. They are audible. They are super stinky. And we just got back from the doctor who told us it’s perfectly healthy/normal. (not that I didn’t already know that but I like being reassured over and over again.)

    He is 23 inches long. He weighs 10 pounds 6 oz. He’s awesome.


  8. Great! I just wanted to be sure that you did receive it. So glad you like the clothes and the shoes!


  9. did you by any chance get our package? not looking for a thank you, just want to make sure it made it. the post office lady was quite persistent about me getting delivery confirmation (she asked 3 times- re you sure you don’t want it? are you sure??) and of course i declined b/c i’m already paying for the package to get there, right?! so i decline and then as soon as i walk away from the window total paranoia sets in. anyway, i have one more onesie for you two.

    i wonder what else TJ is crafting behind the scenes, besides modified sports bras. tell him i’d be happy to show his spring line at the store. we are working on a baby section! maybe an adult line of onesies… (just thinking out loud here)


  10. I heard 7-9 hours too but refuse to believe it so i went with 4.

    we called our dainty little girl the “butt trumpet”


  11. OH DON PIANO! Man, when I first saw that I was laughing so hard I couldn’t talk (at that particular part) and Stuart just didn’t get it; I’d watch it and then sit on the floor crying from laughter.

    I think he finally got it only because watching ME fall apart laughing was funny. WHY I EYES YA!


  12. We watched that at about 3 AM one night and we were both crying. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on the Internet. TJ was like, “It’s even funnier because it’s a cat basically reading off absurdist poetry.” It never gets old. Never.

    For those you who are interested in the video Here is the YouTube video of the talking cat.


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