Breast Milk: Cure For All?

Tobyjoe got me a new computer. I now am the proud new owner of a MacBook. It’s white. It’s lovely. It smells amazing. It also means that once Emory is big enough, I can visit local coffee shops, write, and hang out with actual people and not daytime TV personalities. Oh, and I do still have work to do. Work will be done as well. I’m so happy about the new laptop. The last time I got a new computer was in 2000. I bought one of the first edition TiBooks, which is slow as hell and retired two years ago. I have been working on a desktop since then, which has been great, it’s super fast, but being confined to the apartment all the time is a bit frustrating. No more of that, thanks to my husband.

In other news, Emory has developed a massive case of “goopy eye”. And I like to worry. I first looked to Baby 411 and was relieved by what I read. But of course that wasn’t enough. I remembered something a commenter wrote a couple of days ago, that if I need to call Emory’s pediatrician I should do so. So I did. She told me the same thing, that goop is normal for a 9-day old and that I should just wipe it out with warm, sterile water. She then said, “Some people like to put two drops of breast milk in the baby’s eye. Give that a shot if you want to.” I nearly fell off the sofa. Breast milk? Emory’s pediatrician is French. (Tribeca Pediatrics) Sometimes she’s hard to understand. I wondered if I had heard her correctly.

But guess what? The Internet has heard of this remedy as well. Amazing. When Tobyjoe got home from work, we put a couple drops of breast milk in Emory’s eyes. I was holding him and since it was evening and the baby blues were in full swing I began to cry. “My baby has breast milk in his goopy eyes!” (Another amazing moment brought to you by the hormonally challenged.)

If this remedy does work, I’m going to use breast milk for everything. I’m going to use it on my stitches (yes, I have stitches). I’m going to use it to take care of my lingering bladder infection. I’m even going to put it on my pimples. Perhaps it’ll even cure the blues.

UDPATE The breast milk worked! Goopy eyes are gone! I can’t believe it worked. Thrilled!


  1. Are you gonna end up like the dad in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, sitting at the kitchen table with your elbow in a bowl of breast milk?


  2. ha! I totally forgot about that! Yes. Yes, I am going to end up like that. I’m going to produce breast milk indefinitely and sell it to all interested buyers.


  3. A friend of a friend’s son had a similar problem with his eyes and was told to use breast milk as well. I am not sure it worked but hey, it is worth s shot right?
    I have one of the MacBooks too. I really like it. It is nice and compact. Enjoy!


  4. Babies receive immunological benefits from breast milk. Their own immune systems aren’t at full strength for a while after birth.

    Anyway sounds like a new commercial venture. There is Boudreaux’s Butt Paste – now coming to a store near you – Boudreaux’s Breast Milk – It’s Good for what Ails Ya.


  5. Oh, holy crap, you’re onto something, StFarmer. Hadn’t even thought about that. You think we’d run into lawsuits using that name?


  6. That’s an interesting question. You might want to consult an atty before moving forward.


  7. Congrats on the lap top. I have not tried the breast milk on the eyes although I heard about it. I used to just take cotton balls and warm water and wipe her eyes from the inside to the corner. Seemed to work but she had the goop for a couple of weeks if I recall. I feel horrible that I can not remember.


  8. We had one goopy eye, did the breast milk thing, it worked like a charm. Even tho everybody said it would work, and that your breast milk is essentially medicine for you baby, it still seemed like magic to me. A few weeks later once the fridge and freezer were stocked with little bags of breast milk, i remember feeling (in a MacGyver kind of way) that we were were prepared for anything. Much like the Windex approach to healthcare from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.


  9. I’ve never heard of breastmilk in the eye, although it is logical, it has all sorts of good stuff in it. When Emory gets a stuffed up nose (eventually he will at some point), if you can squirt breastmilk up it, it will unclog quicker so he can breathe and eat better. It’s also good to heal sore/chapped/cracked nipples, just express a bit extra after a feeding and let it air dry.


  10. can you send some breast milk this way? i got some sap on my car and i’m not sure how to remove it.


  11. Holy crap, y’all, I didn’t want to say anything until the morning, but I think this whole breast milk thing worked! His eyes seem to have cleared up. We’ll know more in the morning.


  12. Lori, Cooper's mom! August 18, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    yay! we did the same thing for the clogged tear duct. it totally does work!


  13. nervous and small August 18, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    Breast milk aaaay? Hmmm……wonder if this will fix this “recurrent erosion of the cornea” me and my opthamalogist have been dancing around with most of the spring/summer……hmmm…..should I TMI y’all with explaining what that actually means? LMAO OH NO WAAAAAAAAAY!! THE LAST THING [after amazingly successfully making it through ye olde blog all the way through the delightful and precious birth of Emory, is to get into a TMI bidding war with the author of this precious blog]. Let’s just say it’s eyeball related, excruciatingly painful [for varying durations] and you get bumped up to see the opthalmalogist damn nearly immediately to see her when it occurs [it seems to heal extremely quickly in relatively minor instances, so they wanna catch it “in process”]. But I’ll be sure and run the breast milk theory by her, since my “delicate flower” of an eyeball doesn’t seem to be willing to tolerate any of the other recommended inguents/drops/lubricants etc., “recommended” so far, so it well, reoccurs. Still not brave enough to ask her if she can “tell” if somebody’s “stoned” [as marijuana is prescribed for glaucoma, surely there’s some sort of measurable physiological response] w/ all the NEW GEAR they’ve got in there recently. But I ‘ve got a general re-check coming up soon, so I’ll endeavour to inquire about the general opthamalgic consensus [yeah it’s werks great, but only DIRECTLY FROM THE CONTAINER, WHY??]…….also not brave enough to walk in there toasted out of my gourd just to “get busted” by my opthamalogist, so the dilemma continues…….but glad to hear everyone’s doing well……


  14. I’ve heard of this!! I thought it was a bit nutty, but sounds like it worked out well. Very happy to hear this.

    I also wanted to comment on your ‘mourning’ post. Thanks for sharing what is so very real. That’s what this wonderful world of the internet is so good for. I have a feeling I’ll be a completely basketcase when I finally have little ones. I’ll remember your words.

    Thank you.


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