Can You Answer Any Of These?

I woke up full of questions and instead of asking Google or calling a bunch of customer service representatives to get some answers, I figured I’d try using this site first. So, if you hold the answer and/or any valuable information to any of the following items (which have nothing to do with one another) please feel free to email me and/or leave a comment. (Email: douchebag at


1). Is there anyway to get Quark Xpress to run on two machines if you’re using them both for work? Sure, I flipped through the FAQs on their site but I’m getting conflicting reports about the whole Activation Code thing.

2). If I lose my mind temporarily and decide to purchase the bloody program (instead of InDesign), should I buy Quark 6 (which I have at the office) or Quark 7 (which is the latest but I’v heard not so great things about)?

3). If a woman is ovulating, how long does baby-making time go for?

4). What is the best driving route out of New York City on a Friday night if heading West (into Pennsyltuckey)? Keep in mind, I loathe traffic.

5). When things are smelly, why do people say “P.U.”? (Or is it PeeEw?)

6). What’s the difference between unsalted butter and regular butter?

7). Do you like my new shoes?

Thank you in advance. (I’d like to mail out a present to everyone for any help received but I haven’t been able to send the one I owe Hemlock yet. One at a time, people. One at a time.)


  1. I can only answer the least important of your questions. “Regular” butter, in the US at least, is salted. Salt was used as a preservative and I guess people developed a taste for salty butter. Fake butters like margarine are made to mimic salted butter.

    Always used unsalted butter, aka sweet butter, for cooking, especially when baking. Otherwise the salt level and texture will mess up the recipe. Does that answer your question?


  2. Yes. Thank you. Does unsalted butter taste OK on toast?


  3. I prefer salted butter on toast, but I’ll take either. I’ve been known to sprinkle a little kosher salt on toast with with unsalted butter.


  4. <i>3). If a woman is ovulating, how long does baby-making time go for?</i>


    <i>7). Do you like my news shoes?</i>

    Never mind the shoes… those socks!! Great.


  5. Nah, y’all. I’m not trying to get pregnant. Swear to god. I was literally just curious. Is it like one hour? A day? 48 hours? That’s all.

    Promise. No babies here yet. Too much going on for that.


  6. Here’s an answer to the P.U. question; if they’re to be believed, “P.U.” is saying “phew” similar to how “O.K.” is saying “okay”.


  7. i know the our bodies ourselves question!

    after ovulation starts, fertility lasts 2-3 days. but the actual window for getting pregnant is larger due to the fact that sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days.

    also, unsalted butter is delicious due to it letting you control your preferred level of salt. i’ve heard it’s better for baking because of this.

    and your shoes are awesome!


  8. I love etymology. Here’s a little more on P.U.

    Click me

    “Expressions like P.U. are hard to track down in their early years. The disyllabic pronunciation of a phew-like interjection is probably very old; the spelling certainly existed by the 1950s, if not earlier.”


  9. Brandon! Wow, y’all rock.

    I thought I’d have to phone that into my favorite radio show (Rachel Maddow). But I have you guys. You fine, lovely people.

    Can I answer any questions for y’all perhaps?


  10. So you’re taking the cherished 1975 Vlovo 164e out onna road trip? That’s sounds so fucking kewl!!……

    It’s usually is not a bad idea to get your wheels aligned after replacing front suspension parts. It’s a fifty buck exercise in preventative maintenance that’s a pittance compared to chomping up your front tires…..unless you already had that done following the ball joint upgrades……just checkin’ on your baby and spreading the love……


  11. Over here unsalted butter is the norm. Salted butter has to be found in a freezer…

    I’ve tried baking with unsalted butter (as it is less expensive) and it just never seems to come out “right”. My guess is my Canadian recipes have taken into account that we would naturally grab salted butter in Canada. If a recipe calls for unsalted butter though you must definitely use it.

    God my life is sad. You asked great questions and I can answer butter.


  12. Oh, Meghan. You’re not sad. Butter is really very important. I am sad. I discovered something about myself today. When Tobyjoe goes out of town and no one’s around to ask questions to I’m pretty much useless.

    The butter comment came up really early this morning. I had toast in the oven. It was finished when I realized all I had to choose from was a whole bunch of unsalted butter. But I didn’t know if unsalted butter would go well on toast. (I use it for baking, as mentioned earlier). Tobyjoe wasn’t around, so I put the very last bit of cheese we had on the bread slizes and made a really awful grilled cheese sandwich.

    I’m useless.

    Nervous: We’re renting this time. I worry about taking it on long trips. :[


  13. 7. LOVE the shoes. now i want new shoes…
    but speaking of Keens and recycled tires, check out my friend Scott’s recycled tire pyramid here
    maybe Keen can use it for PR or something.
    also, i love butter and i love salt and i love that nico puts salt on buttered toast. mmmmm, salty butter toast. lunchtime!


  14. 1. it’s a pain in the arse, just buy it.

    2. i’d buy the same version so you don’t have to worry about conversions messing things up.

    3. ashley got that one

    4. from brooklyn, lately i’ve been avoiding the bqe like the plague. so, i take the west side highway up and out of manhattan.

    5. do people still say P.U.? let’s all just agree to say, “ugh, it smells like <insert simile here>.”

    6. I always buy unsalted butter. for toast, probably my favorite thing to do is take a stick of unsalted butter, soften it, and mix it with 1 or 2 tablespoons of honey. this super awesome honey butter is great on bread and toast, and will keep a little longer than a regular stick of butter in the fridge.

    7. those new shoes rock.


  15. I might buy you all presents anyway. Screw it. You all deserve it and I’m feeling all “ohmygodiloveyou” today.

    West side highway? Never would have thought of that.

    My shoes do rock!


  16. 3) – coolest thing I’ve found:

    It’s an ovulation calendar to figure out when you’re most fertile. The egg only lasts 24 hours, but the trick is that you need to have sex at least 24-48 hours before for the best chance at conceiving.

    7) Nice! Keen shoes are so sweetly designed!


  17. 6. Yes. Taste.

    7. Yes. Perhaps I should get myself a pair of comfies like them there Keens. I like the socks too.

    8. Where’s my present dammit? :)


  18. Lovin’ this:

    phew, but pew, phoo, pfew, peugh, and fogh have all been recorded in writing.

    Phoo, my feet stank.


  19. 3) My friend Kelly Sue recommends a book called “Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health.” She said it was eye opening, with lots of information that every woman in her reproductive years should know about and may never have been told. I haven’t picked it up yet, but I plan to soon.

    6) Get yourself to Saxelby Cheesemongers in the Essex Street Market and ask for some Evans Farmhouse Creamery butter. You’ll never go back to your old butter again.

    7) Cuuuute. And I love your socks.


  20. the answer to question 4 is leave thursday night if you want to get anywhere for friday night…..if that’s not a problem…..get some sleep and leave around 3 am and cruise right through the city for fun! right up to GWB and hop on 80 to state college or beyond


  21. I can’t do that. :[ I have to leave tomorrow. Chances are, right around the time everyone else is trying to get out of this damn city.


  22. good luck.have a fun weekend


  23. “2). If I lose my mind temporarily and decide to purchase the bloody program (instead of InDesign)…”

    have used both programs thirteen hours a day for years. seriously, if you buy indesign and promise to never buy quark i’ll pay you $1 US.


  24. OMG hoolio, if you buy Quirk I’ll track you down and staple somthing smelly to your forehead. Seriously. Don’t you do it. Don’t.


  25. 1) The only way to do this with a 1-user license is to disconnect one of the two computers from the network completely.


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