Gateway Grizzlies.

A St. Louis minor-league baseball club came up with the most horrific hamburger ever. A little over a year ago, Burger King released a breakfast sandwich that packed in 750 calories and 47 grams of fat. The Gateway Grizzlies rank in at 1,000 calories. The donut alone has 10 grams of sugar. (For those of you who don’t have to count calories or pay a lick of attention to how much you eat that’s half of the daily recommendation. And if you’re dieting, that’s more than half.) Here’s the surprising part, however, the Gateway Grizzly doesn’t win for being the most caloric. A Hardee’s out of St. Louis released a 1,420 calorie hamburger in 2004. That burger has 107 grams of fat. Methinks St. Louis might be looking at some heart disease.

The Gateway Grizzly features a burger with cheese and bacon tucked between a Krispy Kreme donut. And I thought the sandwich my brother had from ‘Wichcraft was bad.

Bowers told one Gateway Grizzly diner, “You’re ruining it! You’re not supposed to put ketchup on it!” At 1000 calories for just its foundation, I would insist on as much as well.

In other news, my father is moving to St. Louis.


  1. P.S. We have this little game we play in our house (well, I play it and TJ humors me sometimes). Where I’ll say, “Hey how much for you to eat that?” Or “Hey, how much for you to get down there in that subway track, naked, and lay in that brown gook?” And he’ll give me an answer. Usually, it’s around 50 grand because he’s a pricey whore.

    This hamburger, had I thought of it on my own, would have been one of those questions. And he probably would have said 50 grand.

    That’s all.


  2. ok, now my fantasy is to become a wealthy captain of industry, make Ann Coulter my dirty, dirty girl, and force feed Gateway Grizzlies to her while I lick condiments off of her belly.


  3. or maybe i can eat the grizzlies while she licks the condiments off of me. mmmmmmm


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