My First Time Sucked.

I have nails. For the first time in my life, I have nails. They’re kind of nice, too. Yesterday, I went ahead and got my first ever manicure to celebrate their arrival. I spent 20 bucks (that includes a tip.) They were so pretty and pink and shiny and I found that I kept looking at them reminding myself that they are really my own wondering if they are here to stay. I told Tobyjoe that I plan on becoming one of those girly wives, the kind that spend money at the spa and wear dresses and get hairdos and wear lipstick. He said that was fine. (What a great man I found.) And so I went ahead and booked a facial and a massage.

Today, I noticed something strange on my left pointer finger. It seemed that the paint on one of my nails was bubbling up a bit. At the very top, near where the nail curves down toward the side, I noticed that the paint seemed to be coming up from nail. I was so sad and so I chose to ignore it.

The problem is, I couldn’t ignore it. I kept thinking about it. The impulsive desire to take another fingernail and peel it up was almost too much to deal with. But I fought the urge. I knew that it would only last a split second and then I’d be left with only 9 shiny nails.

About an hour ago, the whole piece of paint lifted up and I had no choice but to peel it back. At first, it was exciting, but then it felt like I had just torn a 20-dollar bill in half.

Now, I have 9 beautiful shiny fingernails and one regular one and I’m 20-dollars poorer.

I have nothing to compare this to. Sure, I have had pedicures. I had one that lasted nearly 6 months. (They chipped, but they were troopers.) Is this normal? I am so annoyed right now.

53 Comments

  1. why don’t you just paint that one again?

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  2. I don’t have the right color. :[ I’d have to take it all off and then redo it entirely. Which I will do.

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  3. or you could just buy that color….

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  4. No offense, but do you have any idea how many different colors and in how many different shades they come in? I would have to have the exact name of the color. If you run out of green paint while you’re paiting your room, do you just grab the nearest can of green paint you can find? I would hope not!

    Point is, that’s not possible. Even if I were willing to call them and ask what the name of the color they used was, there is no way they would remember.

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  5. I hate when the polish peels or chips and I feel like I wasted my money. I started just getting my nails buffed and they usually look natural, but super shiny. I don’t feel as guilty when the shine goes away as I did when the polish did.

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  6. I just recently also had my first ever professional manicure. It lasted about a day before it chipped. But it was bright red so the chips were very noticable. Perhaps lighter colors are the answer.

    I don’t know what to tell you about the peeling. I’m obviously no expert. Ongoing manicure maintenance seems like a bitch. too much time and money. And having a stranger massage your hands is kind of awkward for me.

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  7. Nico, yeah. I had them do a really super duper light pink. I am going to go one more time, if that doesn’t work, I’m throwing in the towel. I am curious, however, to the babes out there who are regulars, how often does one go get their nails done?

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  8. I take my own polish for my rare manicures.

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  9. wow! you’re a freaking genius.

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  10. i know many girls who do what julie does…

    and having worked for a design company that pretty much only designed nailcolor/lipstick boxes for a real long time, i know how many colors there are, and how many variations on any one color there are… but you have 9 fingers of color on you, and you should be able to just walk into a duane reade or a rickys or something and find a very close if not exact match. for $20 w/tip, i doubt they were using the crazy expensive chanel stuff.

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  11. You know many girls?

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  12. I don’t presume to know everything there is to know about manicures, but 15 bucks seems to be pretty over-priced(?) for a manicure. Most of the ones I have seen elsewhere go for 10. So what do ones that use chanel stuff cost?

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  13. well for $10-20 (which i see in windows), you see the generic store nailpolish that goes for $4-8. and the fancy nailpolish is what.. $12-20 a bottle…

    i just looked online, and bliss charges $30 for a manicure, so i’d figure around there?

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  14. My manicures cost $7 before tip. The polish (Opi ‘Coney Island Cotton Candy’—I think that brand runs about $10 a bottle and can be found in almost any nail salon) tends to start peeling/chipping after a couple of days. I usually put clear top coat polish on them every couple of days to make it last longer.

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  15. my guess is that the same reason you now have lovely healthy nails is the same reason it chipped in that “peeling” manner. When they’re less healthy they’re dry and brittle. Healthy nails tend to have a bit of natural oil. That oil lifts the polish off.

    you can delay this slightly by going over your nails with nail polish remover right before applying polish.

    I usually stick to toenail polish and leave my fingers alone. Same problem as you: Love of the shiny pretty, then… heartbreaking chippage.

    ok, had to chime in, but now i’m ashamed to admit knowing this.
    duh,
    girlie girl.

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  16. I just had my first ever eyebrow wax! I feel so girly! I’m so into this. I wish I had started earlier. Ah well. I’ll make up for lost time. :]

    Mia, thanks for the pointer. I had them redone tonight at the place up the street from me (a lot cheaper, too). We’ll see how it goes.

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  17. Missy, so you reapply the paint as well? Or do you just let ‘em chip and apply some clear polish every so often? Also, how often do you have them done? We should have girl day at the spa! Mia? Missy? You down? hehhe

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  18. >I just had my first ever eyebrow wax! I feel so girly!

    guys get that too, you know

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  19. Jon, something I think you might take me for a total naive moron.

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  20. I’m sorry, but “guys” don’t get their eyebrows waxed. Some men may, but no “guy” would. I think the proper term for such a man is “metrosexual” or perhaps “prettyboy.”

    The only thing that the guys I know do to their eyebrows is get them stitched up, and that’s after the rugby match is over and we’ve stopped the bleeding with a dollop of vaseline and some tape.

    “Gee, Crackhead. Good thing you had your eyebrows waxed, otherwise that gash would be really hard to close with these butterfly bandages.”

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  21. We had a similar converstation recently in the park. I asked tobyjoe and ryan (my brother) if guys get them done or if they have and they were both like, “dude, no fucking way I’m getting that crap done.” I think there is definitely a type of feller who chooses to get his eyebrows waxed. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Next up! Bikini wax talk!

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  22. as a female of mediterranean/eastern european descent, i can tell you loads about that.
    wait, didnt i already?
    how about walk dont run? or DO NOT try this at home!
    the first time, as in many experiences, is not very pleasant. this kind of thing is worth paying extra for, purely for obvious reasons.

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  23. Wait, you need to be more specific. I must know more. What do I need to know? Tell me, Heather.

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  24. how much detail can i go into on this board?
    all i can tell you is; if youre substantially hairy, it hurts like hell. so practice your deep breathing.
    my experience was pretty painful. i guess i have sensitive skin or something. this particular ‘folicular technician’ left no corner or fold untouched. i mean, ive not been that scrutinised by my own lover, let alone some strange little lady. and after all that, she comes at me with the tweezers.
    i nearly jumped off the table. now whenever i come in for a wax, they take me downstairs to the soundproofed chamber, i presume. but the truth is, like your headline states, it gets easier the more you do it. just lie back and think of england. ;)

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  25. Heather, have I told you lately that I love you? I do. You rule.

    Details are fine. Especially details about things that everyone wants to know about but is often afraid to ask.

    So you’re saying it freaking hurts, right? Ugh. Is there something I can do to prepare? I might piss myself or worse. TWEEZERS?!!!

    Holy crap. Perhaps I’ll go to the beach apeish.

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  26. Also, how often do you have it done?

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  27. wow. i was just gonna say the same thing to you.
    oh yeah, of course i only focused on the negative aspects of the experience. thats me all over.
    the huge pro for waxing over shaving is….it lasts for 6 weeks!
    amazing. isnt it?
    i dont mean to be erm, culturally or race biased but some in the profession are more gentle than others. i am speaking from experience here. i prefer my thai tranny technician, ‘cindy,’ over the russian ladies. s/he is thorough but gentle. and s/he keeps cooing, ‘ssshhhh. beauty painful.’ the whole time.kinda takes your mind off the pain.somewhat. if you want i will go with you and hold your hand. but toby has to teach me how to develop my own prints at home.

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  28. thai tranny, awesome. Perhaps I’ll head to Boston to have it done. For some reason I get the idea that s/he might be really good at removing unwanted hair.

    Although, Russian ladies might be pretty damn good at it too. In fact, if there were a contest, I am not sure who i’d put my money down on. Tranny or not, Asians aren’t generally hairy whereas the Russian woman… well, I hear they’re hairy. Thing is, I imagine they have a higher threshold for pain. Not sure where this is coming from.

    I’d still pick the tranny.

    Prints or Negs? We don’t do prints. But I can actually teach you everything you know. ;] SO hold my hand, bitch!

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  29. that is a deal!
    you come up.
    youre right about the russians.
    my friend just reminded me that ‘threading’ is an option too.
    a lot less painful, apparently.
    i was thinking negs. but do i have to paint my wc black?

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  30. No, no need to paint. We use a bag. THey have ‘em for sale at most photo stores. You can sit in broad daylight with your hands out of view and load your film. :]

    Threading? What is that? Do tell.

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  31. good. i fainted in the darkroom at the sva.
    okay, i just found out that threading is for eyebrows and face only.
    so its either wax or shave.
    i think gerrys aunt is an electrolo whatever. you know, burns the hair off?

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  32. i’d rather get a bit of wax/tweezer action every few weeks than have a unibrow.

    threading is this weird indian(?) technique where they roll a thread against your skin to rip hairs out.

    from google image:
    http://www.saloncolourinc.com/images/threading.jpg

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  33. jonathan-
    does that mean youre one of the men who has their eyebrows done?

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  34. just the unibrow prevention in between

    an ex gf made me sit down in a salon to get it done once, but i usually let a friend or whomever i’m dating at the time do it.

    whenever a girl sees a hair there they’re always “do you have any tweezers? i really want to get this hair thats between your eyebrows”

    that probably says more about girls i date than me

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  35. I learned this as a youngin’ Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle.

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  36. i know. you’d be surpised how many more little girls accepted candy when i’d drive up to the park in my white unmarked van AFTER getting waxed than before.

    the numbers are really astounding.

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  37. wow. i dont know what i would do if a guy i was dating suggested the same.
    the the grooming, not the candy.
    i always take the candy.

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  38. If some guy told me to shave or pluck or whatever, and we were only dating, I’d tell them to take a hike.

    Don’t you love it how most men who are all “Get that crap cleaned up! Wax! It smells! Shampoo yourself!” (Whatever) are also afraid to go anywhere near that region at all?

    It comes down to this: They are afraid of women. They should admit they’re gay and move on to the next guy.

    My advice to all us hairy bitches: Leave those men. Otherwise, you’ll waste years and years without having any orgasms.

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  39. dear dr ruth-
    i absolutely agree.
    but wait, does the same apply to a girl whos hesitant to go down there?
    if im not crazy about fellatio, does that make me gay?

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  40. If you’re not running around telling him that he needs to clean up and shampoo and whatever the crap, then you avoid the hypocritical part. The point is, don’t make escuses. You don’t like it, admit to it! It’s OK.

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  41. thanks. im gonna try that tonight.
    the most bizarre grooming request someone made of me cant even be printed here. but i wanna hear yours.

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  42. OMG, you must now. You can’t do that! TEASE!!!

    email it me. if you’re not willing to put it up here.

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  43. just to clarify – i don’t ask girls to groom me. girls tend to ask if they can groom a hair or two on me. its odd that its become habitual, yes. but i never once batted my eyelashes and said “can you wax me?”

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  44. jonathan-
    you were clear. i got it.
    i was just remembering some requests made concerning myself, not the other.
    oh and i bet it would work if your eyelashes are as um, abundant as the eyebrows seem to be. girls love lash.

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  45. Heather, thanks for that story. Oh boy. In a perfect world, we could post them here. Perhaps one day I will start that blog where my name is left off and I can really get down to business. Until then, email me stories about boys and grooming. That works.

    I haven’t ever waxed a boy. Ever.

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  46. oh, now we’re just being mean.
    you can always count on me to drag it into the nether regions.

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  47. “Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle.”

    what movie is that from? Something about Wolves. It was all fairy-tale-y and had Marianne Faithfull in it, I think.

    It is bugging me.

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  48. Nico, I am not sure, but I do know that Heather Freeman loved it. LOVED to quote it. Which leads one to wonder if it was pornographic. Her other favorite was, “Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?”

    (keeping it with the topic at hand, even.)

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  49. In the Company of Wolves. Google helps.

    Wow, never would have thought that.

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  50. Oh! I got it. The Company of Wolves.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087075/

    It was a favorite of Rachel’s as well. I think she even had that quote written on her AP yearbook page. haha.

    it is not pornographic, just fantasy-silly.

    Mind if I smoke while you eat, however, is another movie entirely. DO NOT google it at work folks.

    Sorry for the reminiscing folks – back to the hair removal now.

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  51. I so know exactly what you are talking
    about. It’s strange, my theory is: the polish that they use works great and last on the acrilic nails. But in that
    case, why does it last on your toes so
    long? I agree with nico, have them buffed natural with some clear polish to add shine. How hard could it be to match up the color of clear?! :)
    I’m curious, did your facial and massage idea inspire my wonderful brother with my birthday present?

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  52. shelley! I’m so happy to see you, my sweets. I can’t wait to hear about your spa day. I can’t wait!

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  53. SHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!!!

    Did you get DSL?

    Reply

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