I Know Jon Stewart Wants My Sparkly Glove

Last night, Toby Joe and I sat down to watch the Daily Show. Jon Stewart has been away or whatever for a week. Contrary to all the rumors, we were NOT away together. I was in Rhode Island. He was probably someplace like India. Anyway, it was funny as usual. But there was this one part…

You see, several months ago I printed a bunch of t-shirts featuring Monica Lewinsky as herself sucking on the Pinocchio nose of G W Bush. You may or may not have heard of them. Anyway, last night Jon Stewart said that “Lake George” (aka New Orleans) was GW Bush’s Monica Lewinsky (and apparently Jon Stewart has become my Nicole Kidman). He continued making the comedic point for quite few minutes. And before I could throw a mere peep in Toby’s direction, my phone was ringing.

It was Gina – my sweet Gina – calling all the way from Detroit.

GINA! Are you watching The Daily Show?


I am! And your shirts are going to sell like crazy now!

[More laughter]

You’d think! I can’t belive he’s bringing that up now!

[More laughter]

You should totally send him one tomorrow. Or, hell, just walk it to him.


Oh my god! I should totally send him one!

[Lightbulb illuminates Greenpoint]

We talked for a few more minutes about a few of her friends from New Orleans who are in need of some assistance. (An aside, I love Gina. She has a kind heart.)

Years ago, when I was 6 or 7, I wanted to win the Michael Jackson sparkly glove. This is what I looked like (without the eggs of course) and this was the wallpaper I stared at while on the phone:

I sat on the phone for hours trying to win that damn thing from some radio station out of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Why a Harrisburg radio station had THE MJ glove to give away is beyond me. I never questioned authority back then. I, of course, did not win. I didn’t even get past a busy signal except for that one time I misdialed. This was before redial, so my fingers did the walking. In retrospect, had I actually gotten through, I’d have had to still answer a question as to what song was playing after hearing a mere thought of a musical note and that would have been comical at best. Only after answering correct would I then move on into the final round. And even then said group was hit with another, harder question. I was 7 so that’d have been interesting. But I never got that far. I was completely silenced by a mere busy signal.

What’s my point? My point is that winning that Michael Jackson sparkly glove was really hard if not downright impossible for me. Finding a way to get this damn t-shirt to Jon Stewart has become my new Michael Jackson Sparkly Glove only sans the phone lines and without all the wallpaper. It occurred to me last night while chatting with Mrs. Gina; I simply must do this. That’s all there is to it.

This morning I wrote a letter to Comedy Central (yes, an actual letter). I also copied down every New York City address I could find. The Daily Show’s doors open between 5:30 and 5:40 and I have contemplated getting my psychopath on and heading over there this afternoon. In the meantime, I will send one to the Comedy Central Headquarters and try and drop one off at their Broadway office, too.

Today, I am armed with six t-shirts. And it might seem silly but God dammit, I am still really worked up over not winning MJ’s sparkly glove.

So bring it on, folks, tease me endlessly, tease me ruthlessly. I can totally take it. Make me callous so I can handle the impending rejection.


  1. I think that’s awesome. I’m rooting for you.


  2. Go to the show, hand the shirt to someone standing outside (give them one or two as a treat) and have them throw it on stage when he comes out.


  3. Yeah, I’ll need to do something considering they are booked solid until forever and Comedy Central (i just discovered) doesn’t accept mail. Damn Internet and its email destroying good ol’ fashioned mail. Out of all the killer designers/programmers/web developers we know in NYC, you’d think ONE of them might know of someone at Comedy Central. I need to write my designer friends, methinks. I know people at HBO, is it owned by HBO?


  4. The show was funny last night, I loved the end especially with the head of FEMA – Brownie…good job…what an idiot.

    I’m sure Jon would love that shirt! I’m faux-tivoing every episode just in case you get it on there!


  5. You simply MUST go for it!

    I think this is a sign from GOD.


  6. Let’s find out who his guests are for the next few weeks and get a shirt to each of them. I love it… mihow t-shirt debut tonight at 11!


  7. I have no idea how to go about doing this so I’m sending emails to folks and hoping for a break. I would throw the rest of them away if I could get one through the door of The Daily Show. :]


  8. Oh my gosh – how totally freaking cool – do it! DO IT!!!!!!!


  9. You gotta do it girl! That would be so cool! I only wish I knew someone there to get you in….! Keep us posted!


  10. Are you kidding? This is a great idea! Jon Stewart is going to LOVE it and you are going to be RICH. I just know it.

    BTW, Bartender Dude and I will be in New York from this coming Sunday until Wednesday……..any chance of a drink with you and TJ?


  11. Alright, folks. So here’s the update. I just boxed up three shirts. I got some information from a friend of who to send it to and where. The funniest thing happen. I was trying to figure out how to pay out of pocket and have the package delivered to the Daily Show when a messenger we had here at the office dropping something off says to me, “Hell, I’ll do it for you in cash.” He told me that for 20 bucks he’d get it there and call me upon delivery. He gave me his cell number. Now, all I do is wait and see if he gets in. I told him the situation so hopefully he’ll make sure someone takes it.
    I feel like the biggest loser ever but it feels so damn good, too


  12. I was just looking at the shirt again and I noticed the “signature” of the cartoonist. heh, very funny.


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