This morning started off with a bang. I left the house a little late and halfway up Graham avenue, I began to have blinding cramps, cramps that I haven’t experienced since I was a teenager. And if that pain wasn’t enough. I broke out into a cold sweat and my vision began to tunnel; I was passing out.

When i was a teenager I passed out once a month. I passed out in the high school parking lot (that was the time the principal thought I was a drug addict), I passed out in the bathroom at the Diner while working. I passed out in the driveway and busted my nose. I used to pass out all the time. Those were some of the worst days of my life.

Today was not unlike all those times. Usually, when I feel it coming on I sit down immediately and stick my head between my legs. That is, if I have the time to do so. I found the nearest concrete stoop and crouched down. The smell of human feces that often wafts up Graham Avenue hit my nose making matters worse (or maybe it kept me conscious?) How the hell was I going to get to work today?

I called Toby Joe twice. He must have been showering. Not that I had any idea what it was he could have done for me. I guess I wanted someone to know what was happening.

After about 15 minutes of sitting there sweating, I felt strong enough to continue on to the subway.

It took me an hour to get to work today. I am barely moving. I want nothing more than to crawl into the fetal position and wait for sudden death.

Sometimes, being a woman is the worst gig ever.