Today was one hell of a day. I can’t deny. And it’s also one of those days where I regretted writing on here at all. I have nothing against golf. I am not sure where that came from. I just ranted for no apparent reason and I have always tried NOT to do that. I am sorry if golfers have been offended.

I am also annoyed that Google is annoyed with me because I wrote about female and male ejaculation. I am also annoyed that we can’t be adult enough to realize that if it weren’t for female and male ejaculation none of us would be here to complain about female and male ejaculation.

I’m also annoyed that I’m annoyed.

I made a gynecological appointment today just to make my day brighter, you know, something cold and metallic to look forward to. (Seriously, I am on this total trip lately that my babies are going to come out totally deformed because of what I have done to my body over the 31 years I have been alive. I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. It wakes me up in the middle of the night, it keeps my days, it keeps me period. So hopefully a doctor will set me at ease because the Internet and Google did not. I will probably write about this some more over the next couple of months.)

There, I said it. I have serious issues. But golfing is not one of them.


  1. I wish it were that easy! Maybe if I get some jock itch I won’t worry about this shit all day and night. Send jock itch. Fast.


  2. “that easy”!!! you’ve obviously never tried to get rid of a bad case of jock itch. I wouldn’t worry about your kids, because even if they’re totally weird and kinda damaged(like mine), you will love them anyway. I have to send you Henry’s most recent creation. As Kerry put it, we’re witnessing “the berth of a jeenyus”


  3. I don’t know if it makes you feel any better but I was not exactly kind to my body and did not abstain from any substances and yet mangaed to give birth to a quite healthy and intelligent boy.


  4. Really, unless you were bathing in benzene, clearing forests with agent orange, or experimenting with x-rays, I wouldn’t worry. I mean, how many hippies had kids? Hell, Frances Bean Cobain seems to be doing ok. It’s not like you’re going to continue acting like a 20 year old when you’re pregnant. If you go looking for horror stories on the web in order to frighten yourself, you’ll find them, but that’s because we live in a puritanical culture that believes in punishing itself for its minor sins and forgiving itself for its great ones.


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