Drunk Love

Many years ago, while living in State College, I knew a girl named Lisa and a boy named Jay. Lisa was sort of bookish. She was so charming and smart and generally pretty awesome to be around. Jay liked the ladies. He liked to throw parties and go out and be seen. I guess one might have called him a scenester. Separately, they were great. Together, they became a super couple. I always had a good time with them. I always laughed a lot.

I knew her husband first. I used to work with him at a place called Blue Train Compact Disc. She’s an unbelievably attractive girl, and friends of his often joked about how he scored the day he met her and prior having done so, one might have called him a player.

For a long time, she wouldn’t have anything to do with him. She joked with me later, saying, “He used to sleep with all my friends! And sometimes even my roommates. I thought he was so arrogant.” I knew that some of this had to be an exaggeration. But it was funny, nonetheless, the fact that they ended up together, such an unlikely couple.

It took several months of his charm before she agreed to go out on a date with him. And when she finally did, she found that she liked him. They remained together, exclusively. And Jay fell in love. Eventually, he asked her to marry him. They bought a big house right outside of town and started their lives together.

A year went by. She was a partner at a successful law firm and he worked part-time at a bookstore. He always told me, “I want to be the housewife in our family and Lisa is totally OK with that.” And she was. She was driven—that girl. She told me she couldn’t imagine not working. Jay couldn’t imagine working. They really did compliment each other.

I would hear about them from others and on occasion I would run into her or him but not as much after they bought the house. I found out Lisa decided to start her own firm. I was happy for them; they seemed to be doing so well. Plus, I was a cynical bitch back then, so they gave me hope of one day finding that special someone and I, too, might eventually settle down and be happy.

One afternoon, I was at the local pub called Zeno’s. I was meeting a few friends there for happy hour. I must have been 22 at the time, it would be one year before I would be moving away from there and starting some sort of a life. Lisa and Jay were down there with a group of close friends. It was early, so it wasn’t wildly crowded and noisy yet. I went up to say hello.

I could tell immediately that Jay was already a little drunk and so were his friends. They were sharing a pitcher among the four of them, a Zeno’s pitcher that ran you about $4.00 back then. I think it went as low as $2.00 during happy hour. I really can’t remember now. Noticing that Lisa didn’t have a drink, I asked her if I could get her one. She shook her head and smiled.

What? What’s up?

Jay leaned over and laughed.

You’re not going to believe this, but Lisa is 2 months pregnant!

She looked so excited at that moment. I was amazed.

OH MY GOD! First, of all, that’s incredible news.

And I think I probably jumped up and down a lot or grabbed Lisa’s shoulder. Maybe I hugged them both, I don’t remember.

I know! We’re really excited. Jay dragged me out today because it’s Jim’s birthday. It’s OK though. I rarely get out anymore.

I wondered about her new business. I also wondered about their affording it all. After all, they really weren’t married for all that long. Not that it mattered, but I know they had some trouble at first with the fixing up of the house and all. I imagine that put them behind a bit monetarily.

If you don’t mind my asking, was this planned?

If it were anyone else sitting before me, I might not have asked. But for some reason, knowing how open the both of them had always been, I knew they wouldn’t be insulted by my inquiring.

They both cracked up. And then Jay looked at me, deadpan.

Oh honey, God no. This was grade-A drunken love. We came home one night totally shitfaced and I was too drunk care. Drunk love.

We all lost it.

I have been wondering lately, how many babies are born into this world due to a night of drunk lovin’? I know there is no way of really knowing. But this has come up several times over the last couple of years. Married couples I know and truly adore have had babies they love and truly adore because of one night of having a little too much to drink and not necessarily being able to manage their machinery quite like they usually do.

Is there really such a thing as being “ready