Many years ago, while living in State College, I knew a girl named Lisa and a boy named Jay. Lisa was sort of bookish. She was so charming and smart and generally pretty awesome to be around. Jay liked the ladies. He liked to throw parties and go out and be seen. I guess one might have called him a scenester. Separately, they were great. Together, they became a super couple. I always had a good time with them. I always laughed a lot.
I knew her husband first. I used to work with him at a place called Blue Train Compact Disc. She’s an unbelievably attractive girl, and friends of his often joked about how he scored the day he met her and prior having done so, one might have called him a player.
For a long time, she wouldn’t have anything to do with him. She joked with me later, saying, “He used to sleep with all my friends! And sometimes even my roommates. I thought he was so arrogant.” I knew that some of this had to be an exaggeration. But it was funny, nonetheless, the fact that they ended up together, such an unlikely couple.
It took several months of his charm before she agreed to go out on a date with him. And when she finally did, she found that she liked him. They remained together, exclusively. And Jay fell in love. Eventually, he asked her to marry him. They bought a big house right outside of town and started their lives together.
A year went by. She was a partner at a successful law firm and he worked part-time at a bookstore. He always told me, “I want to be the housewife in our family and Lisa is totally OK with that.” And she was. She was driven—that girl. She told me she couldn’t imagine not working. Jay couldn’t imagine working. They really did compliment each other.
I would hear about them from others and on occasion I would run into her or him but not as much after they bought the house. I found out Lisa decided to start her own firm. I was happy for them; they seemed to be doing so well. Plus, I was a cynical bitch back then, so they gave me hope of one day finding that special someone and I, too, might eventually settle down and be happy.
One afternoon, I was at the local pub called Zeno’s. I was meeting a few friends there for happy hour. I must have been 22 at the time, it would be one year before I would be moving away from there and starting some sort of a life. Lisa and Jay were down there with a group of close friends. It was early, so it wasn’t wildly crowded and noisy yet. I went up to say hello.
I could tell immediately that Jay was already a little drunk and so were his friends. They were sharing a pitcher among the four of them, a Zeno’s pitcher that ran you about $4.00 back then. I think it went as low as $2.00 during happy hour. I really can’t remember now. Noticing that Lisa didn’t have a drink, I asked her if I could get her one. She shook her head and smiled.
What? What’s up?
Jay leaned over and laughed.
You’re not going to believe this, but Lisa is 2 months pregnant!
She looked so excited at that moment. I was amazed.
OH MY GOD! First, of all, that’s incredible news.
And I think I probably jumped up and down a lot or grabbed Lisa’s shoulder. Maybe I hugged them both, I don’t remember.
I know! We’re really excited. Jay dragged me out today because it’s Jim’s birthday. It’s OK though. I rarely get out anymore.
I wondered about her new business. I also wondered about their affording it all. After all, they really weren’t married for all that long. Not that it mattered, but I know they had some trouble at first with the fixing up of the house and all. I imagine that put them behind a bit monetarily.
If you don’t mind my asking, was this planned?
If it were anyone else sitting before me, I might not have asked. But for some reason, knowing how open the both of them had always been, I knew they wouldn’t be insulted by my inquiring.
They both cracked up. And then Jay looked at me, deadpan.
Oh honey, God no. This was grade-A drunken love. We came home one night totally shitfaced and I was too drunk care. Drunk love.
We all lost it.
I have been wondering lately, how many babies are born into this world due to a night of drunk lovin’? I know there is no way of really knowing. But this has come up several times over the last couple of years. Married couples I know and truly adore have had babies they love and truly adore because of one night of having a little too much to drink and not necessarily being able to manage their machinery quite like they usually do.
Is there really such a thing as being “ready
go and make yourself a cute elf baby already! (mihow eyes + toby nose, et al = elf child)
some one I know needs to do a practice run…
I know of a few from drunk lovin’. I also know of a few from ‘trying’, and a bunch from ‘russian roulette’.
I kinda think the russian roulette approach is cool.
Jon, what’s that entail?
My daughter is the product of drunken/drugged ‘love’ with an EX.
I think as you get older, and because you have found true love, it is normal to start thinking baby thoughts.
Maybe you and Toby Joe need to have a little chat! ;-)
And no, there’s no such thing as ‘ready’. If you wait until you are ready, you will never have a kid.
Ooooh! I hear a bio clock ticking loudly over there…. :o)
Russian Roulette is taking a gamble. You’re not trying to get pregnant by staving off protection, and you’re not drunk and forgetting to use it.
You just say “Shit. I didn’t take the pill.” Or “Shit. We’re out of condoms”. And instead of saying “We shouldn’t be doing this,” you say “let’s just roll with it”.
You’re prepared and expecting it to both happen and not happen at once.
So then if you get pregnant, cool.
And if you don’t, also cool.
I don’t think anyone can ever really be ready…It’s not like the heavens will open to reveal a flashing, neon sign proclaiming ‘Get to baby makin’, dammit!’
P.S. If the flashy sign thing happens to you, let me know and I’ll keep an eye out…
Online banking has the opposite version of that sign as soon as you login.
Well, as soon as I login…
Henry was totally a product of drunk love. We called it “playing with fire” but it wasn’t completely unplanned. We had abandoned oral contraceptives many months before in preparation for this, even though we were both still graduate students and living in housing owned by my father in law. After we had Henry, the change in lifestyle was so overwhelming that it took three years to have another—it was a big shock to both of us. Parenthood is really rewarding, but you have to look at everything that you do and that gives both of you joy/fulfillment/satisfaction and ask yourselves if you could do it as parents with a baby in tow. What ever became of Lisa and Jay?
They are still there. Happy and in love as far as I know. I haven’t seen them in quite some time. I ran into them over a few Christmas breaks while visiting my family and once at the Nick Cave show in New York city. That was about 3 years ago. And I asked them how the baby was. They both laughed and said, he’s almost in college. :] (Not really, but he’s a lot bigger now. I guess three years ago he’d have been around 7? Maybe 6. :]
I squeaked at that last line. :D
I don’t think there’s a “ready”. I don’t think you can really be prepared for being a parent. Plus I think if you could be, no one would ever have children, because who in their right mind wants to get up at 3am and clean up poo?
P.S. I LOVE that pic of Toby.