This Sunday will mark the one month anniversary of our diet. My End goal was to lose 20/25 pounds. While I am not sure when that End will come, I am slowly moving towards it. It’s been hard, I won’t deny, but it’s been entirely worth it, too.
I took so many things for granted before I started eating right. Potato chips could be consumed as a daily snack. Ice cream was something I ate once a week. French fries were something to be eaten first, then, one was to finish the burger or sub or whatever lamprey might find itself next to God. Whole wheat bread could be eaten in excess because it’s good for you. (Most of the wheat bread one might find in the grocery store is filled with sugar.) Eating, and then not eating, certain foods became an obsession of mine.
Now, I look at the back of every box. I compare options. Some foods might have more fat and less sugar. Some foods might have more sodium. Some foods might hold more carbs, but have more fiber, too. Toby and I choose wisely these days. It’s frustrating, and we’re not fun to grocery shop with (or near, for that matter) but that’s life.
I also make it a habit of writing things down. I will try and keep track of everything I eat during any given day. Sometimes, I put it into my little orange notebook. Other times, I take mental notes, figuring out what I can eat more of that day, and what I need to stay away from.
My reason for beginning this post, however, was to make a list of the top ten things I wish were engineered to be equally as fucking tasty but were, somehow, by the grace of God made calorie free.
Without further ado, I give you my list.
- French Fries. (All kinds except sweet potato. I don’t like those.)
- Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip Iced Cream
- Deep Fried Cheese (if they’re poppers, that works, too)
- Cheesecake
- Carvel Ice Cream Cakes
- Grilled Cheese with Facon on Buttery as shit Wonder Bread
- Pizza
- Macaroni and Cheese (preferably from Dumont)
- An Everything Bagel toasted with Cream Cheese
And the top thing I wish I could eat every day and never gain a pound:
- McDonald’s Egg and Cheese Biscuits (Holy shitballs their biscuits are good. I have no idea how they do it.)
Now, granted, I get mine without the meat, but still, not the healthiest item ever made.

But it sure beats the McDonald’s Steak and Egg Cheese Bagel.
As a reward to myself once I am down to my initial targeted weight, I plan on eating all of the above in one sitting. Also, I think I will eat some pancakes, too.


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