A Birth of a Punctuation Mark.

Yesterday, as I was drifting off to sleep, I came up with what I deemed at the time as the most brilliant idea I have had ever. If this idea were being graded, I would have received an A.

A few days ago, I was a part of yet another internet disturbance. It wasn’t that I instigated it, quite the contrary. But either way I was left feeling kinda bad yet again. (There should really be a new word surrounding this phenomenon. But I need to keep my priorities in order. And today, it’s all about The Mark.) Basically, someone said something, I said something back and then someone else said something written entirely in ALL CAPS. It was harsh, but sarcastic nonetheless. And while I know that sarcasm does not an attack make, my skin is about as thin and transparent as Paris Hilton when it comes to online bruising; I don’t take to it too well.

On that same day, I was chatting with Toby on AIM and I wrote something sarcastic. He took it as an attack and the next thing you know we’re on the phone apologizing for absolutely nothing. This happens often, I have found. It’s even more annoying now that a lot of human interaction is moving to this thing called the Internet.

Yesterday, I came up with an idea; and that idea spawned the birth of SARCASMARK.

You see, SARCASMARK is a mark one must add to the end of the sentence much like a period (shown here: .), an exclamation point (shown here: !), and a question mark (shown here: ?). It’s a new punctuation mark. I think we’re about due for a new one. At least that’s the state of my Union.

Instantly, I faced a few parameters:

  • 1). SARCASMARK must be found on the keyboard.
  • 2). SARCASMARK MUST be used anytime something is said in a sarcastic tone while on the internet. There are NO excuses.
  • 3). SARCASMARK must be used sparingly. (In other words, none of this !!!!!! LOL!!!!! OMG!!!!!! WTF????? bullshit. Practice some punctuation conservation. I’m trying to kick my comma habit, I ask the same for all you !!!!! lovers out there. Pretend your punctuation resources are limited.)
  • 4). SARCASMARK is to be used with no other punctuation. One mark per sentence (see above.)

I hope we’re all on the same page now. So, without further ado, I give you SARCASMARK^

Toby mentioned something about having to say that something is to the somethingth power and then what do you do? But, I mean, really. How often does that happen on the Internet? Maybe somewhere tucked between conversations about your mother’s vagina, the Nikon D70, farting, your very own penis, and how gay people are ruining the world there is room for something like this, but I highly doubt it.

I seriously think this could change the world

13 Comments

  1. I see that SARCASMARK might end up being the clear Pepsi of Punctuation. GOD DAMMIT!

    Like

    Reply

  2. God, nothing could be as bad as clear Pepsi. Ugh.

    I like the idea. I have an extremely sarcastic sense of humor, so I have trouble conveying that over IM or email. A lot of the time, I am misinterpreted. The sarcasmark would help a lot in my case.

    Like

    Reply

  3. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I think you’ve been beaten to the punch!

    Like

    Reply

  4. GOD DAMMIT AGAIN! The hell? I hadn’t seen that. And where on earth do they get off using some half-assed self created punctuation mark? That is merely an upside down exclamation point, right? Now what am I going to do? Man, Slate can eat me.

    Like

    Reply

  5. HOW DO WE IMPLEMENT THIS PIECE OF CRAP? I CAN’T FIND IT ON THE KEYBOARD.

    I hate them^

    Like

    Reply

  6. [option] 1 is how you make ¡

    which I think is already an offial spanish language punctuation mark making it, in my book, invalid as sarcasmark© and clearing the way for ‘‘

    this idea could make us a lot of money

    Like

    Reply

  7. looks like they used <sub><strong>¡</strong></sub>
    if it makes you feel any better, I like yours better.

    Like

    Reply

  8. well that worked well¡ ^

    Like

    Reply

  9. What’s this spanish language crap you’re talking about^ Spanish what?

    Like

    Reply

  10. They make that booze that makes the ladies horny, right? Yeah, screw those guys. The whole lot of them. Spanish and their upside down marks. I mean, come on. Spanish fly away, now.

    Like

    Reply

  11. This is why I never tout my “inventions.” Cause someone is going to tell me some monk invented it in 1684 and then I’ll feel all dumb and shit.

    Like

    Reply

  12. well, in spanish you preceed an exclamatory statement w ’¡’ and follow it with ’!’ same with questions or preguntas as we used to say in spanish 101.

    ¿donde está el mosca español?
    ¿tomólo todo el perro?
    ¡cuidado por la pierna!

    Like

    Reply

  13. I actually took spanish for many years and still, all I can really ask for is food. I can understand it a bit and read it a bit more, but speaking or writing it is another story all together. I do love the upside down stuff they use. WE need more ornaments, imo.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s