Fun with Splenda: Healthy baking, take 2

Today, I will be making a chocolate, mixed berry pie. I am going to wing the chocolate. And I worry a bit about how it will end up. I’m using baker’s chocolate and I’m going to add my own sweetener. You can witness the birth of yesterday’s blueberry pie by clicking here.

For dinner, it’s stuffed mushrooms and miso tofu.

Pictures of today’s mess to come.


Today, I tried an mixed-berry pie. I purchased fresh blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. I also purchased Baker’s Chocolate and some Splenda (again).

At first everything was going just fine. I made the crust just the same way I did yesterday. I put that in the oven and let it bake for a while. In the meantime, I put 3/4 of each tub of berries into a saucepan and began to mash them (with a masher, duh.) Here they are slightly mashed and just now on the stove.

And here they are after about 15 minutes. I added about 1/4 cup Splenda to this as well. (No, I do not work for Splenda. No, they are not paying me.)

I took the reduced fruit and placed it into my pie crust. This is what it looked like before I put it back into the oven. I used the remainder of the berries (the 1/4 left of each) and decorated the top.

This is where I start to fuck up. I took a bar of Baker’s Chocolate and put it into the saucepan. I added some more sugar and then began to stir. I added some soy milk in desperation and then some water and then (after desperately hitting up the internets) some butter. And this happen:

And it looked fine. So I began to pour it onto the pie. And then it turned into something one might find in the trash can at a nursery. Since it looked like baby poop, I tasted it. It tasted fine.

But it was too late. I had already dripped baby poop all over it.

I just had a piece. It tastes perfectly good but it looks special. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find out a little more about Baker’s chocolate first.


  1. Anyone have any idea how to make my chocolate creamy? This is so not working.


  2. You need an emulsifier

    Maybe you can get some lechetin?

    Check out these sites:
    Best Chocolate Recipes


  3. my wife made some cutout cookies the other day and she melted white morsels (choc chips) and added in crisco for creaminess/mouthfeel to make the frosting. Sounds nasty to me, but hey, that’s chemistry for ya.


  4. Thanks, man. I tried to pour this shit on my (once) beautiful pie, and it looks like someone came by and shat on it. I’m not even sort of kidding. It looks like turd hit my pie.

    GotJesus, baking amazes me. I’m totally into it right now and constantly surprised at what ends up tasting good. :]


  5. yeah, it sounds like you need to add an emulsifier and temper the chocolate


  6. Come over here right now young man and help me.


  7. I was going to say that you need to come to my house and make some food for us but then you had the comment about what your once beautiful pie looked like and I changed my mind!!! :o)


  8. sorry, i’m at work :(

    you know if there’s a vegan version of creme brulee?

    i really want to use these ramekins and torch i bought last year, but the calorie count has been too intimidating


  9. BTW, Mihow this was the answer on my sports board when someone asked for a good cabernet for his boss

    “Silver Oak. You may need to shop a little to find it. It is about $125 in most resturaunts.

    It tastes very warm.

    It may not be the “best” but it has very very good name recognition as a top flight “cab.” It will be recognized that you bought something of top quality by anyone that is a wine snob.”


  10. Awesome. Perhaps next year I’ll make wine. Riiiiiight.


  11. Bob – be sure to mention that the 01 Napa is about twice as good as the 01 Alexander.


  12. i don’t have any answers about the chocolate, i had that happen once, and i thought it had something to do with not using a double boiler or stirring it to much.

    but, on the subject of splenda for cooking, how do you like it? is there truly no taste difference? i tried it once in coffee, and it didn’t work out very well for us.


  13. Well, I can’t say that I have noticed much of a difference, however, I’m sure some will. I guess it might depend on what it is? I tried it in iced tea and it tasted fine—totally normal. :/ Not sure. Give it a try once more and see if you like it.


  14. Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about French wines and more at


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