Take stock of what ya got

Last week (Saturday morning to be exact), we moved into a new one bedroom apartment in Greenpoint/Williamsburg. We love the place. It’s pretty big. There’s a lot of light (except for that middle room, but nothing a few candles can’t cure). There’s a laundry machine (but no dryer). There’s a view of Manhattan and it’s near everything we know.

Our stuff hasn’t arrived in Brooklyn yet. (Which reminds me, I have to call and see where our stuff is.) In the meantime, here is every item we have in our apartment right now.

  • 1). One air matress.
  • 2). One desktop computer. (For DVD rentals, yo. This has been a blessing.)
  • 3). One green plastic bin.
  • 4). One flat screen 17 inch Apple monitor.
  • 5). Two pillows.
  • 6). Two blankets.
  • 7). Three sheets.
  • 8). Two very red and very cheap towels. (We bought them at Dee and Dee and they leave hundreds of little red blobs all over you when you dry off. I have washed them twice, line dried them twice, and they still leave hundreds of red blobs on you. One day, Toby was at work, peeing. When he first looked down at his penis, there was what appeared to be a big red sore. Panicked, and ready to kill me for stepping out of the marriage, he touched it. And it fell to the floor like a feather on wind. The red blobs follow us everywhere.)
  • 9). One cast iron frying pan.
  • 10). One pot.
  • 11). Four cheap plastic plates.
  • 12). Two cheap plastic cups.
  • 13). One TV stand taken in from the street.
  • 14). Two laptops (did I say that already?)
  • 15). Clothing and some toiletries.
  • 16). One partial portfolio.
  • 17). A few cameras and some camera junk.
  • 18). Some food.
  • 19). One wrapped present for Toby Joe.

And that really is it. No rugs or chairs or tv sets. (HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE WITHOUT TELEVISION?!!! I’m still trying to picture a world without digital cable. And that terrifies me, but NOT having a TV altogether? Are you insane?)

If our stuff doesn’t arrive soon, feel free to send us the things you have rested your ass on this week.

12 Comments

  1. It’s the penis comment, isn’t it?

    Reply

  2. i literally swallowed my gum when i laughed as i read that comment.
    fyi- we’ve got tons of extra crap if you need anything.. towels, sheets, dishes, blankets, sweaters, advil, etc..

    Reply

  3. I have this ummm great 70’s couch…..

    Reply

  4. I so want that couch, miss mother of mine. Give me the couch. We love the fake green plastic plants. For real. I’m not even sort of joking. :] Especially if it comes with kitty cats.

    Reply

  5. Schmitty slept on it last night.

    Reply

  6. How does Toby feel about your comment?

    Reply

  7. When I wrote it and he was grumpily laying in bed, I said “Hon, do you mind if I tell him the penis and the towel sore story?” He said, “Sure. Go ahead.” I mean, it’s not true. It’s just a towel goober. But I guess you are all picturing Toby’s penis now.
    STOP PICTURING TOBY’S PENIS!

    Reply

  8. Your are a brave girl…my significant other would kill me if I were to include something so personal in my little blog…..It did crack me up though! :o)

    Reply

  9. A little penis fuzzy never hurt no one.

    Reply

  10. Penis Fuzzy…..cracks up yet again….

    Reply

  11. Besides, Toby knew better when he married me. He knew that I can’t really keep a personal secret. Especially if it’s not really all that weird or bad. I have a way of spewing stuff from the face. However, there are some things we don’t discuss in our home. And that’s anything that happens (or should happen) in the bathroom while on the toilet. That’s off limits. Which is fine. I have had one too many friends from my past think it’s bloody hilarious to hold a gal down and fart in her face.

    Reply

  12. You’re lucky – you have a pot. I’m stuck with 2 frying pants (nonstick that have obviously been scraped at) and a metal spatula. How did this happen? last night I boiled water in a kettle to make rice noodles, in the frying pan. Tricky stuff.

    Reply

Leave a Reply