Dear AARP Representative,

Last night, we went and saw the West coast tour of Beep Beep, TV on the Radio and The Faint. I saw this line up about a month ago in D.C. I had a great time that night and decided to go again with Mike and Dee this time.

Beep Beep is awful. I am trying to find something good to say about them, and I just can’t seem to do it. What surprises me the most is how a band (who can’t really hold a note to save their life, has little to no understanding of style or melody, originality or concept) gets to tour with bands like TV on the Radio or The Faint. I know musicians who take their music much more seriously and they’re not touring with The Faint. It’s perplexing. If I were a musician and I had witnessed what we witnessed last night, I’da been so annoyed. It’s kinda like those really awful trendy designer types who somehow manage to score really kick ass projects. I hate them, too. (Only not really, because that would make me lame.)

Anyway, Beep Beep blew. But TV on the Radio is and was downright awesome. They are so awesome that as they were playing I was TEXT MESSAGING the woman who introduced me to them. Two songs in and I’m writing, “THIS BAND IS FUCKING AWESOME. THANK YOU, SOUNG. THANK YOU.” Hit send. Done. (Seriously, TV on the Radio is so good, you should all get up from your computers right now and purchase something of theirs. I might have a little something something I can share with everyone. Because I’m nice like that. So if you want a song, kindly send me an email.)

They’re really good. They have the most original sound I have come across in years. Their originality almost made me forget about having just sat through Beep Beep. And they almost made me forget about the crowd. Which brings me to the real reason I am writing today.

D.C. is the adult swim when it comes to seeing bands play live. I have been spoiled, clearly. Sure, there are 23 year old girls on E from time to time, but I will take Pilsbury and Nosering over Fuck me, I’m 13 Lavigne. I could not believe my eyes. While some bands complain about the lack of dancing that goes on at a DC show, or the seemingly bored crowds (as most of the time, people just stand around and bob their heads), there is something to be said for not having the need for bouncers. There is something to be said for NOT having to sit through some show with someone’s foot or stinky ass in your face as they’re lifted over the crowd by a sea of idiots. There is something to be said for actually being able to watch the band.

Adult swim, indeed.

Last night, the crowd was overall very, very young. In the girls’ room I saw a girl no older than 11. She was covered in makeup and wore very little clothing. I have seen more cloth used in the washing of a window. I’m not used to this. Maybe DC doesn’t have teenagers. I guess that makes sense considering the public school system there sucks. But Virginia and Maryland have teenagers. There has to be more to it than that. Did Fugazi do it? Heh.

Nothing makes a 30+ year old girl feel like more of a loser than standing in a 25-person line to use the shitter at a rock show. All the while, I’m standing there thinking, “Michele, you should really be at home where you belong.” Girls were smoking in the stalls. It’s illegal to smoke in bars or clubs in California. So they were smoking in the stalls. Three and four of them at a time were going in there to light up. All the while my geriatric self is imagining horrible acts of retaliation, acts which would have me put in jail due to their age. (Peeing on 13 year old girls is illegal, right?)

But we had arrived early. And there was an upstairs. So we managed to score rock star seating. (Translation for “Rock star” seating is “Don’t touch me. I want to see the band” seating.) We were front and center, and up above the crowd. It was like watching them from our living room. Both Dee and I said this separately. We sat on a carpeted floor and watched TV on the Radio do their perfectly amazing thing. We watched The Faint put on a multimedia smorgasbord. Overall, it was great night.

I would like to end by saying that I know I’m a bit of a hypocrite. I was once a 13 year old girl at a rock show. I only hope that I didn’t annoy the living piss (quite literally) out of some 30+ year old while I was there. I would like to take this moment to publicly apologize: To all of those I may or may not have thoroughly annoyed while at a rock show, can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?

16 Comments

  1. p.s. I do not have jock itch.

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  2. i like. you can stream the whole album here.

    and they are playing againg tonight…must pull myself from suburbs….

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  3. Thanks, claudia! You rock. You rock harder and better than Beep Beep, that’s for sure. If you go, arrive late. Yes.

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  4. I don’t think that hypocrisy extends back to our teenage behavior. That’s the thing about growing up. Kids are SUPPOSED to be selfish idiots, and we’re SUPPOSED to be annoyed by them. You’re just on the other side, now. That doesn’t make you a hypocrite, it makes you OLD. Heh.

    I had this same revelation about myself the other day when I was driving the babysitter home. She’s a freshman in high school, but I either didn’t know that or had forgotten. Anyway, I was struggling to come up with some small talk and thought I’d ask what colleges she’s applying to. I said something like “So all your college applications are due soon, right?” and she laughed at me and said … “I’m a freshman!”

    Then I realized: “Duh!” Of course, if she were a senior she probably wouldn’t be babysitting, and if she were, she would probably drive or something. Anyway, I realized that I was just really out of touch with the nuances and social indicators that teens are tuned into. When I was in high school (or college, even) I would have just KNOWN that she wasn’t a senior.

    Anyway, I thought it was pretty funny and we had a good laugh about that. There’s just no way to be cool when you’re driving a babysitter home in a minivan.

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  5. Next time ask her about The Faint.

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  6. i thought you typed “the Taint.”

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  7. I DO NOT HAVE JOCK ITCH!

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  8. It’s best not to discuss The Taint with your babysitter while in a mini-van.

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  9. Mihow! Its the mad man!lol.But I think you have me beat! moving agian! I think you are a gultin for punishment! ( not really, I think you 2 are brave in leting your happyness take you where it needs to.) Good on yeah!Can you send me that song Radio on Tv I happen to like the your taste in Music.

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  10. See…I told you if I were to venture to that big concert next month that I would probably be the oldest one there. I remember seeing Bjork in DC with Mike. We got there a bit late and there was a huge line out the door and down the block. I was thinking, “oh shit I’m gonna miss half the show.” Then I found out that that line was for those under 21. Us codgers who were over 21 were free just to walk on in. Doing so we were plunged into a weird universe controlled by what seemed to be middle schoolers who were more interested in seeing what so and so was wearing instead of listening to the little Icelandic Pixie on stage…..Damn I’m old…..

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  11. the lady doth protest too much.

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  12. Mihow, I look forward to the day when the 2 of us can go to a show at the 9:30 wearin a Depends and riding our Go Go ULTRA 3 Wheel – SC40

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  13. I’m ready for that now, Donald. How does Mid December sound to you?

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  14. “Peeing on 13 year old girls is illegal, right?”

    not in thailand!!!

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  15. Nifkin, you dirty bastard.
    *imagines google search strings.

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  16. Huh, perspective shift—I just read another weblog entry about the same show. That guy seems to have liked the Beep Beep show. Maybe between the night you went and the night he want they magically transformed into a non-sucking band. :)

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