Mihow's Top Ten Reasons For Disliking Life On the West Coast

Well, we’re supposed to be on vacation now in Rhode Island with Nico and George. Currently, I am choosing to ignore this fact. We are just too far away to get there in the amount of time we have (or had) off from work. And that sucks. For the past two years we’ve gone on vacation with them. I am so sad we’re missing it this year. But this leads me to why I’m writing. Without further ado, I give you: Mihow’s Top Ten Reasons For Disliking Life On the West Coast Especially Being an East Coast Transplant.

Ready?

10). The strange fascination for everything Crepe over the plethora of other perfectly awesome, non-eggy breakfast food such as BAGELS for example. (And I now hate crepes as much as i hate scones).

9). The seasonless weather, aka “The Mono Season.”

8). The fact that if you travel 10 miles outside the city, civilization dies. (There is a shortage of gas stations as well.)

7). Saturday Night Live is so not live.

6). I have yet to be invited to investigate the San Francisco underground

5). The need one has for a car.

4). The way people drive. I have lived in New York and Washington, D.C. (famous for beltway drivers and soccer moms shooting other soccer moms during extreme moments of road-rage) and STILL no city compares to how the folks out here drive. They hop in a Lexus, fill it with a tight-lipped, passive-aggressive, “I’m-not-making-eye-contact-with-you” rudeness, and then turn driving into performance art. If you’re going to be a flaming asshole while driving, at the very least show me your asshole.

3). The fog.

2). The time difference. In the morning we’re the last to open the door and in the evening the last to shut it. (Besides Hawaii, of course. But it’s not often the east coast has a morning business meeting with Hawaii. Am I right?)

1). The lack of lawn. Man, do I miss the smell of a freshly mowed lawn!

Tomorrow on mihow.com: Top Ten Reasons I Love Living on the West Coast.

5 Comments

  1. Very valid points. I’m glad you’re still looking on the bright side with your list tomorrow… :) Buy yourself some Rice-o-Roni. It’s the San Francisco treat. Like cookies for the rest of America.

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  2. Indeed. I assure you, there are many more positive reasons for living here than there are negative. :]

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  3. If it makes you feel a little bit better, it’s supposed to rain in RI for the next 40 days and 40 nights…

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  4. Awwwww, I sorta miss the rain. So that would be ok too. We could just spend the entire week drinking and watching PBS or TNT or whatever station it is which airs shows about hermaphrodites and plastic surgery gone bad.

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  5. Mihow, I have to agree with you on all 10 of your points. However, be careful about what you wish for as far as rain is concerned….come November and December you will long for the days when there was just the fog, if only to get away from the rain that seems to fall sideways and is so cold you can feel it in your bones. It doesn’t get that cold it just gets really damp. But not to be so depressing…just wait until Sept and Oct when the East is getting cold and we will have 90+ heat without the humidity.

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