Well, we’re supposed to be on vacation now in Rhode Island with Nico and George. Currently, I am choosing to ignore this fact. We are just too far away to get there in the amount of time we have (or had) off from work. And that sucks. For the past two years we’ve gone on vacation with them. I am so sad we’re missing it this year. But this leads me to why I’m writing. Without further ado, I give you: Mihow’s Top Ten Reasons For Disliking Life On the West Coast Especially Being an East Coast Transplant.
9). The seasonless weather, aka “The Mono Season.”
8). The fact that if you travel 10 miles outside the city, civilization dies. (There is a shortage of gas stations as well.)
7). Saturday Night Live is so not live.
6). I have yet to be invited to investigate the San Francisco underground
5). The need one has for a car.
4). The way people drive. I have lived in New York and Washington, D.C. (famous for beltway drivers and soccer moms shooting other soccer moms during extreme moments of road-rage) and STILL no city compares to how the folks out here drive. They hop in a Lexus, fill it with a tight-lipped, passive-aggressive, “I’m-not-making-eye-contact-with-you” rudeness, and then turn driving into performance art. If you’re going to be a flaming asshole while driving, at the very least show me your asshole.
3). The fog.
2). The time difference. In the morning we’re the last to open the door and in the evening the last to shut it. (Besides Hawaii, of course. But it’s not often the east coast has a morning business meeting with Hawaii. Am I right?)
1). The lack of lawn. Man, do I miss the smell of a freshly mowed lawn!
Tomorrow on mihow.com: Top Ten Reasons I Love Living on the West Coast.