I, Michele, hereby swear that I will never, under any circumstances, talk about my job on, over, on top of, near, around, or in front of the internet. This means that no matter how funny and/or unbelievable and intoxicatingly weird said job becomes I will not mention said weirdness here. And in the event of strangeness happening (as we all know it will), I will not cave in and express, nor will I hint at the fact that weirdness is happening. Furthermore, if I am in need of discussing internet unmentionables, said internet unmentionables will only be mentioned within the parameters of my own home or among close friends. No matter how bizarre this job becomes, no matter how intoxicating a story is, no matter how painful it is after meeting someone fabulous and horny and keeping it from the masses, I must abide by this rule.
I vow to never break this rule. I vow never to break this rule.
And thus my non-disclosure agreement is paraphrased.
(This is going to be unbelievably difficult for me. You have no idea.)