Dead things and hair clumps

Over the past couple of weeks a smell has been brewing in our hallway. At first it wasn’t too bad, it smelled like rotting vegetables or perfectly healthy cabbage. Lately, however, it has taken on the smell of something dead.

My mind goes instantly to thoughts such as this:

Toby, have you seen the neighbors lately?

And even though he has not seen out neighbors lately, he assures me they are not in the apartment next door rotting.

Last night I brought Schmitty outside into the hallway to sniff around. I thought that maybe his horny nose might find out where the smell was coming from. Instead, he ran straight for freedom, down three flights of stairs, headed for the front door. That plan backfired.

So we’re not sure what it is. And I’m afraid to go into the hall.

Along with something dead, we have a strange plumbing situation going on as of late. And I’m only now hoping that these two things are not related. A nightmarish imaginary idea of mine is to have a rat bite my ass when I sit to pee. What if there is a dead rat who wanted to bite my ass rotting in our pipes?

It’s times like these where I am happy I don’t own. It’s like handing the baby back when it cries. Ain’t my problem, you deal with it.

5 Comments

  1. heh…I just know that someday somebody’s going to come to this page through the search string “ass rotting in our pipes.”

    Reply

  2. Weird. Maybe it’s a rotting mouse. I’ve smelled that once, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t roses.

    My irrational fear is that i’m going to take the garbage out to the dumpster and a rat is going to hurl itself at me. I guess that is possible, but freaks me out.

    Aw, and kittie just wanted to go outside.

    Reply

  3. um, since when is schmitty a corpse-sniffing cat?

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  4. He has to earn a living somehow, and after the “Titgate” scandal, the moral majority has shut down the freakshow in which he used to star.

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  5. Schmitty watches too much CSI. He’s like that lady who is always stroking the victims and saying things like You poor gal, someone took you before you were ready.” You know the one? She’s super freaky. Please, when I am dead, I don’t wish her to be my coroner.

    Reply

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