A few unrelated thoughts:

1). If some asshole from Trading Spaces ever paints my walls zebra skin, puts fake plants around my bed, or dangles stuffed monkeys from my ceiling, I’ll sue their ass.

2). If you leave a bag of potting soil outside for over a month in the rain with the top open you will prove the existence of alien life.

3). They DO use actual dead people as crash test dummies.

4). Avis is a rip-off.

5). Someone explain to me how Delaware is a State and D.C. is not.

6). No colon should be able to hold 40 pounds of shit. And if one should, no one should know about it.

7). The telephone will not hurt you.

8). Someone, namely Missy, should figure out a way to (sometimes) shut me up.

9). It’s not the Virgin Mary.

10). Why did Joe and Jake break up? I can’t remember.

50 Comments

  1. You don’t need to be shut up.

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  2. 11. Dubstyle and Girl27 ran over a raccoon last night. It was on a accident.

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  3. oh bummer. Poor coon. :[

    These things happen, unfortunately.

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  4. Obviously you watched the “Jungle Room” episode of Trading Spaces. Yeep.

    Jake and Jo break up over some sort of chain of events involving Amanda, the bike shop burning down, and Jake trashing Jo’s apartment.

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  5. And as for your #6? Have we ever gotten through a day without discussing poo or pee?

    Not that it’s a bad thing, but just wondering.

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  6. well, yes. I have. That’s from the M

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  7. Yeeek! That #6 is for REAL?

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  8. Yes, it is for real. They have the colon, stuffed under glass at the M

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  9. You know, that wouldn’t be so bad, though would it? Hopefully you wouldn’t be at your new boyfriend’s house the day your colon decided to blow. Think of the embarrassment.

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  10. Weird, I have that same “Before” bedspread. It’s from IKEA.

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  11. Sorry, I keep posting…

    That “After” room looks like one of those fantasy motel rooms that you can rent the “moon room” or “Jungle room.” Kinda like this: http://fantasytheme.com/ Seriously, that jungle room isn’t too far off from this piece of poo.

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  12. Isn’t a bad thing when you like the before better than the after? I mean, this is way too much for more than one night. I’d go nuts in that room.

    There was another one I was shocked over as well. It consisted of nailing a hundred or more records to the wall IN A LIVING ROOM, spray painting her favorite chair black, and painting the walls all bright and crap. Who does that? It’s like a big open wound that’ll never heal. How ugly.

    I’m thinking how much of a pain in the ass it’d be to remove the records and cover up all those nail holes the moment they leave the house and you’re done crying. Ugh.

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  13. Who did the Jungle Room? Doug? He’s famous for doing exactly what the owners don’t want.

    Hilda was responsible for the record album fiasco. She’s evil on a stick. She’s also responsible for the Hay Wall Room, and the Bathroom Walls Covered Entirely in Flowers.

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  14. I think it was doug, actually. Do you get to choose who does your room? If not, I wouldn’t risk it. I like the Asian guy.

    I haven’t seen the bathroom you speak of. Ugh. That woman, she destroyed that room. truly.

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  15. Yes! I was just searching for one with the bathroom walls covered in flowers. Mind you, these were all staple gunned to the walls. I would of gone ape shit crying and taking these down, one by one…

    http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/beforeandafter/beforeandafter_10.html#

    Go to Mississippi: Golden Pond (Hilda’s room) to see the disaster for yourself.

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  16. holy sweet crap, that’s horrid. Truly.

    I don’t get it. I mean, how can these people still work? That’s insane.

    I wish they’d put out a “Behind the Music” type of show for “Trading Spaces” I have a feeling there’s some great stuff.

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  17. Homeowners don’t get to pick their designers. They can request, but it doesn’t mean they get them. I think they hire people like Doug and Hilda because they cause controversy which causes ratings. I would like Gen to do a room in my house.

    I always mention this, but it’s my favorite show so I tend to repeat myself. My friend and her husband were on the first season of Trading Spaces. Hilda did their bedroom. It was before she went nuts, I think. It wasn’t horrible.

    It’s here. New Jersey: Sam Street – Josette and Ed’s Bedroom.

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  18. All I’m sayin’ is I couldn’t get freaky deaky in the bedroom with a crucifix hanging over it. ;) Was that there before?

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  19. No, you don’t get to choose your designer or carpenter.

    I like a lot of the bizarre stuff the designers do that most people hate (I don’t mind the Jungle Room), but I have to draw the line at the flowery bathroom. That’s hideous.

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  20. My eye went straight to that as well, Megan.

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  21. I thought the jungle room looked great. I wouldn’t want it in my house, but they all did a really good job. I wonder how long it lasted before they ripped it all out.

    The records on the wall was shameful! Oh, the horror of filling in all those holes…I hadn’t even thought of that before. Didn’t they say there were over 260 records? And what exactly did she paint the chair with? Regular wall paint? So you can’t sit in it anymore…it’ll just crack.

    I have to say that while I HATED Kia’s design, the bed hanging on chains was really cool. I wish I had a bedroom big enough to do that in. What a nice sleep, swinging away.

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  22. Yeah, like I said, I’d probably rent a room like that or maybe even enjoy it for a day or two, but once the novelty wears off, I’d probably swallow my tongue.

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  23. Apparently, they ripped it out after about a month. She said, while standing there, “I don’t know whether to kiss you or kill you.”

    Indeed. Me Tarzan, you get that shit out of my room.

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  24. I liked the hanging bed idea. But I wonder if I’d get dizzy. Seems to swing a lot. What do you think?

    Those columns, ugh. Those horrible columns.

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  25. I would put that colon on my mantlepiece as a decoration before I would let Hilde put records or hay all over my walls.

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  26. I’d be terrified it break during a session in there….no crucifixes in there, though. It just kinda reminds me of a sex dungeon.

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  27. Girl27, that’s some funny shit. Did you see the one where she put moss on the walls a couple’s bedroom?

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  28. See, now the flowers on the wall of the bathroom, that’s just crazy. Imagine the mildew? That bathroom would NEVER be dry. bugs would grow, worms, it’d look like my bag of dirt after a few weeks.

    Moss? Oh dear.

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  29. The crucifix was there already. They are Good Catholics. They have like five little kids.

    They’ve already moved out of that house. I wonder if they used the Trading Spaces thing as a selling point…

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  30. Now I just feel bad.

    :: burns in hell ::

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  31. Why would you feel bad?

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  32. Because they’re this nice family with 5 kids and it probably means a lot to them. And then I go and make some comment about how I couldn’t do it in that room. I don’t know how to explain…probably just some good ole Catholic guilt working its way back.

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  33. If it makes you feel any better, Megan, I was wondering about the crucifix as well. It looks like the finials on the poster bed had been changed to crosses as well but I can’t be sure. I would also feel strange having sex in a bedroom replete with crosses. Or I might just laugh and dub myself the High Priestess of the Dirty Doings. Who knows.

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  34. Megan, I love the ::burns in hell:: comment! Said so naturally. You must have been raised Catholic.

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  35. Yeah. Mihow was too, I think, so y’all probably understand. For the record, I got 100% on my Saints test in 8th grade. Yes, we had a test on fucking saints.

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  36. Well, not fucking saints, but on saints and their deeds. But not doing the deed. Just things they did. Not like people they did, because they’re saints, and I think there’s probably some rule on saints not having sex. See, this is why I can’t be catholic. I just keep digging and digging. All the way to hell.

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  37. ha!

    It’s not easy to not think when someone tells you you shouldn’t. That was always my problem. As soon as they started telling me not to have “sinful” thoughts, I started to wonder what they were.

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  38. I remember my 6th grade religion/sex ed teacher telling us that french kissing was a sin, and I think from that point on I thought it was all pure crazy talk.

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  39. megan, we call it “Freedom Kissing” around here

    wow, that joke was so 5 weeks ago…

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  40. yes, because “french kissing” is actually a sin.

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  41. ha ha ha…damn, that’s some funny stuff. I think after a month it becomes a retro joke and all the cool kids in the city start using again. So, your fine. You’re like the Hush Puppies, the airline bags used as purses, the undy rug (see here: http://www.triplebstudio.com/UndyRug.html) of jokes. Yes, I just purchased the undy rug, so I am making fun of myself.

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  42. No worries, Megan, I certainly wouldn’t be able to do dirty fun things in a room with a cross either.

    Maybe my friends have only done dirty fun things exactly five times. Heh.

    :: rubbing eyes with brillo pad ::

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  43. I have a crucifix over my bed and a Blessed Virgin Mary statue on my night stand.
    You can’t see either in the dark…

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  44. Hey, Freakgirl, is that Brillo pad art? (see Freakgirl.com)

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