George Burns

I just thought of George Burns. Just now. I haven’t thought about him in a while. “I Wish I Were 18 Again” was my favorite song in the whole wide world when I was 7. Holy cow, I loved him. It was the second record I ever owned, second to Blondie’s “The Tide is High.” Anyhow, I just thought about him and I remembered he did pass away. I remember being a kid and begging my mother to not tell me when this event took place as I was not sure I could handle the news. I still have that record. It crackles and pops and spins around all warped. What was your first record?


  1. The Jackson 5 “Victory” album.
    I was 5.


  2. By the way, uber props for the Blondie album.


  3. It was only a 45. I was only sort of cool. And most of that was later destroyed during the not-so-cool years of metal. Indeed.


  4. i’ve never owned a record, but i think my first tape was The

    George Burns fucking FREAKED ME OUT and TERRIFIED ME.


  5. You weren’t even born yet when he was popular.

    How do you mean he freaked you out? was it the cigar? Was it the wrinkles? Was it his age? Did he touch you, TobyJoe?


  6. The first tape I ever bought on my own (with allowance money) was Men At Work’s Business as Usual. I was ten.

    First 45 I ever owned was The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. I remember this because what I wanted was The Devil Went Down to Georgia, but somehow I learned when to hold them and when to fold them instead.

    Which reminds me, Melissa (the wife) thought that the Kenny Rogers song Lucile had the lyric “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucile, with 400 kids and a cow in the field”

    It was actually 4 HUNGRY kids and a cow in the field.

    I’m shocked at the amount of Kenny Rogers in this post.


  7. Wow, 400 kids. That poor woman. Lucile didn’t leave him, she turned inside out.

    How does one feed 400 kids with only one cow? Jeepers.



  8. Dude, I love Kenny. My mom has a signed, personalized tambourine from him hanging on their bathroom door. He was just here in MI and I saw his bus pull up to the venue (marquee gave away who it was)

    First tape was Phil Collins’ Genesis, and first CD was George Michael’s “Freedom.” God, I had really shitty taste in music.


  9. First CD: Metallica’s Ride The Lightening.


  10. First album bought with my own money: Foreigner 4.

    I know.


  11. Michele, we can’t really get on Melissa for thinking it was 400 kids. As you will remember, you and I actually believed Mom could see through walls.

    We also kept those big plastic balls we won at the carnival out of the sun because we KNEW they would blow up and send us into the next county the moment sunshine touched them.

    So, we really have no right to pick on her.


  12. Did Lucille live in a shoe by any chance?


  13. ha h aha!!!!

    Those Balls lived in the basement during the day. I REMEMBER!! They could only come out at night.

    It was totally aunt sue’s fault. DAMN!!!

    I wish I had them now. Those big balls.


  14. Laughing at the 400 kids & just the one cow…

    first cd, U2’s Boy.


  15. Rob, do you remember making horses out of the bar stools and riding them while we listened to “The Gambler?”

    Good times.



    I wish I had grown up in your family.


  17. george burns was so fucked up.

    i’ll list the things that scared me:

    he smoked (nothing more disgusting, even scat fetishes)

    he was older than the earth

    he played god in every movie, i think

    his voice gave away that he was, in fact, dead

    *he was nowhere near funny, yet people loved him

    to me, he was the devil and only i could see his horns.


  18. Freakgirl, I’m just glad they were the children of Diane’s first husband!!!!


  19. Tobyjoe: All valid points.
    ::sliding over to Tobyjoe’s side on the issue::


  20. He played the Devil as well, didn’t he?


  21. Okay, just for the record, the lyrics to the song are …

    “You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille
    With four hungry children and a CROP in the field.” Not a cow.

    And I only know this because I used to own that Kenny Rogers album on 8-track. That and the Charlie Daniel’s album that had “Devil Went Down to Georgia” on it. Which I can recite.

    I’ll crawl back in my hole now.


  22. No need to crawl into a hole, randy. You may correct Roberto. He was wrong. Wrong indeed.

    I’d rather have a crop. At least it keeps givin. I don’t like milk. And once you kill a cow, meats all gone. What kind of crop was it? Do we have any idea? A corn crob, not so good. If it were a tomato crop, that could be better.

    What the hell would she have done anyway? Lucile? Was she whoring for food?


  23. Well, if they lived in San Fran, perhaps it was a marijuana crop.

    Oh, and my friend in high school used to think the words to AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” were “Dirty Dean and His Thunder Jeans”.


  24. Crap, not cow, it’s crop.

    (say that fast 5 times)

    I also remember Michele using a tape deck to tape the songs to the movies Xanadu and Oliver off the TV so that she could listen to them later.

    And while Michele’s first crush was George Burns, mine was Olivia Newton John. I had much better taste than Michele.


  25. Thirty Thieves and the Thunder Chief


  26. I loved her too. I did. I’m planning on suing her for making me 45 % gay.

    I did. Freaking Beta VHS crap didn’t come out soon enough. Bastards.


  27. And it’s not even just “a crop in the field”…it’s “crops in the field.” So, she can feed her 4 hungry children.


  28. Yes!!! I so totally used to do that taping thing too. Except I wouldn’t just tape the songs, I’d tape entire movies and listen to them in bed at night. I was SO ready for VCR technology to come along.


  29. Megan, you missed the point of the song. Lucille was the one who left. The husband was the one who had to stay behind and feed the 4 kids with that one crop.

    Lucille was probably out banging The Gambler.


  30. now now

    I taped the damn movie as well. Till it ran out. Then I flipped the tape.

    I was very sad. I would put it near my head on my pillow and pretend I was a rollerskating hottie muse.


  31. Yeah, but Randy, on top of having 4 fuckin’ screaming kids, he’s got a shit load of crops in the field that he’s got to take care of himself. Not just one lousy crop, but lots of them. And one is an entire tomato crop that are all yellowy and he’s not sure how to grow them.

    I don’t blame Lucille for leavin’. I probably would’ve to, since I heard they lived together before we were married.

    Aw, man. I suck, don’t I?


  32. hahahahhaha!!!

    NO! You don’t suck. Dirty bitches, living with boys out of wedlock. Whores. All of them are going to hell.


  33. I think I saw those kids on Jerry Springer not too long ago.


  34. First 45 was Depeche Mode’s Strangelove.

    First CD was U2 Joshua Tree.

    And TobyJoe, those are some serious George Burns issues.


  35. Lucille was such a whore.


  36. I feel so much better that we got to the root of this song.

    ::I love you guys::


  37. I see what’s going on here.

    TobyJoe hates George Burns.

    Mihow asks why.

    TobyJoe calls George Burns the Devil.

    “The Devil went Down to Georgia”

    TobyJoe grew up in Georgia

    Tell us, honey What did George do to you while he was there?


  38. It’s what he refused to do.

    King of Sin, my ass!


  39. i think the first record i got intentionally because (at the time) i liked the music was one by quiet riot…

    no, not the popular one with all the songs you know, the one after that…

    yeah, a real crowning achievement in my life…


  40. First record I recieved as a gift when I was 8 – Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

    First tape I recieved as a gift when I was 10 – Wham (the one with Wake Me Up Before You Go Go)

    First tape I bought on my own when I was 12 – New Order Substance 1987 (1)

    First CD I bought – You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gone into a store and bought myself a CD. Hmm. But I have lots of them. Hmm.


  41. 4 hungrey kids and a crop in the field?


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