During the past few months (7 to be exact) I have dwelled on several questions. After a few frustrating “situations” that happened within my silly little life, I got fed up with my own created horse shit and started to take it all apart.
And so instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, drinking, blaming the world on my problems and wanting to hear,
Yeah, Michele! You are RIGHT! That DOES suck!
I have to try and change. Wallowing in some pitiful state of denial, sitting in a stagnant puddle of friends, giving perpetually bad advice, and never really changing suddenly became glaringly wrong. These days I am trying to wise-up and become a better person.
There are rules I have set for myself. But they just float around the concept of honesty. I love it. And when it hurts, it’s even better, like a powerful scotch or a long run.
I hate a liar. They make me want to puke. A liar is a thief of words and thoughts. And I hate a thief. Dishonesty runs rampant in so many different ways. And then fear tends to drive it wild. The need some folks have for group acceptance frustrates me evenly. Every. Single. Day. They become half that of what they could be because everyone else wants to keep the maximun up down near the ground.
But I don’t want to dwell on the negative part of this. Nope. There is always a flipside (hence the frustration). There are folks I have met and they have, in some way, sparked this thing called hope (in me). And instead of being angry with the goofballs out there, I want to be happy about the fine folks I know. This is for me to remember them by if I ever get hit in the head and forget everything.
Dad, I’m not so weird. See? But as it turns out, you are. And that’s pretty damn cool.
freakgirl, you make me laugh every damn day. And though I have only met you (in person) once, I like what it is you have to say. You’re a great person. Never a dull moment.
Mom, you’re some freaky, living saint who (strangely) does nothing wrong but (still) manages to take the weight off of everyone else’s shoulders and put it on your own. I wish you could give some of that away.
nifkin, I am constantly trying to come up with new compliments for you because you don’t seem to take any of them. Your modesty is admirable. And you’re super nice as well.
Nico, It’s great to have you back. You remind me that highschool wasn’t all bad. I have only great thoughts about you. You’ve known me a long, long time, creating a history outside of my memory. And that’s a great thing.
(Soung, I wish I knew how to talk to you now, because I think we have some catching up to do. And I miss you).
Toby, you’re the “grade-A motherfuckin shit”. And you make me smile endlessly. And I wish I could clone you. Earth needs more Toby. I’m so lucky to know you. So lucky. (I don’t have the words for you).
That’s all I have time for because it’s nearing dog park time. So if anyone is reading this, you may now (please) make fun of me. :)