I have an idea… I have wondered long enough…. what the hell is Alias about? I stupidly watched the season finale, and I had no idea what was going on. I do realize one must watch a show to really make sense of it, get to know the characters etc. However, this show just totally lost me. I had no friggin guess as to what was happening. I sort of want to know even if it is just a basic description. Loose is fine. I like loose. Brief me, kittens.


  1. OK. Here goes:

    Sydney Bristow is a grad student who was recruited by SD6 (a supersecret branch of the CIA) in college. She tells her fiance after their engagement and he gets killed by SD6. Therefore, she learns that SD6 is actually the enemy (think SPECTER in the Bond films).

    She immediately turns herself into the CIA – they run her as a double agent. The only other double agent is, that’s right, her dad. Her mom passed away years ago and she has a bad relationship with Dad.

    So she tries to work with the CIA without tipping off SD6 and tries to mend things with Dad. Meanwhile, she can’t tell her friends what she does for a living – they all think she works at a bank.

    In the season finale, she’s trying to save her friend, the reporter, who has a nose for news and has sorta figured out this SD6 stuff. She also was doing whatever “spy plot” was going on that week. At the end, her CIA case officer (a young guy) seems to drown and she’s captured by “the other bad guys” (not SD6) – the lady who she sees at the end is her Mom – a former Soviet spy who leads “the other bad guys”.

    So her Mom (who was a spy) really left her and her Dad when Syd was a little girl and Mom has been running a crime syndicate all these many years.

    Plus there’s Syd’s unspoken non-sexual relationship deal with the CIA agent and with the reporter dude.

    Got it?


  2. ok, you (mystery man) you rule. I thank you for you (very) thorough explanation.

    so that guy did die at the end, right? That guy from Never been kissed?

    do you work for the CIA too?


  3. “your explanation”. not, “you explanation”.

    english, who needs it?


  4. we don’t know if that guy dies or not

    what we do know, is that the alias/dude where’s my car girl was on felicity, and is married in real life to the more annoying guy on that show. interesting enough, her dude where’s my costar is on the tv show immediately following hers. could this be a conspiracy?

    a bunch of other shit actors from felicity make appearances on the show as well, which leads me to think that the same production studio makes both shows

    i could be wrong though, and i am actively watching 7th heaven reruns hoping that she’ll pop up, as everyone on a wb show has made a guest appearance


  5. Damn Felicity. She’s strapped for cash, me thinks. I see her on the subway ads for a network called “We” Perhaps they’re all looking for new work?

    Is that show over yet? How did it end? I never watched. (Toby wouldn’t let me. Wise choice).


  6. i think tonight is the last episode

    i’m kind of sad to see it go. even though i hated it, i’d watch it every so often.

    because it was bad. so bad. so unbelieveably bad. it was as if time stood still when i watched it. like it would never end.

    i’d think the show was almost over, and only 10 minutes had past.

    it was.. amazing.

    imagine if you could stop time for an hour. in a busy day, just steal an hour’s worth of relaxation—but have it make you think you were away for 4 hours.

    thats felicity.

    sure its an awful hour—but it made the day seem that much longer. so, when i needed a break and didn’t have much time to spare, i’d flip the channel and watch the petty little bitch whine about her life endlessly.

    more wb trivia:
    felicity not only played the ‘bad’ girl on an episode of 7th heaven – but she also starred in a movie called ‘eight days a week’ where she plays the object of her neighbor’s affections. the boy is so lovestruck, that he camps outside her window for a month. and narrates an eerie 2minute exploration of her breasts hidden behind a bathing suit. just when is seems as if the movie couldn’t get any worse – the boy has sex w/the mother from 7th heaven. and yes—you do see her breasts.

    i need to cry now.


  7. as long as it wasn’t the breasts of the woman in that show “Once and Again” I won’t gouge my eyes.

    I actually watched the show about 5 times and (I might add) sort of enjoyed it. (yes, I’m sad. I lived in DC at the time and had nothing to do I guess).

    Sometimes (I’m going to ruin my {possible} credibility even more now) I even downloaded the music the next day. They did, after all, play Beth Orton a lot. I do like her, I do.


  8. I’m a lurker and only intrude when I have real info to add. About important stuff like Alias.

    Actually, I’m a frat guy. We have feelings too.

    The show was created by the Felicity people. That’s how they cast Jennifer Garner. And yes, the Never Been Kissed Guy likely is alive (in the show). You know he’s French? He kicked some old school native tongue in a recent episiode.

    To bring it full circle, the Never Been Kissed dude was also in a terrible movie with Felicity where he gets “killed” by his roomate so that the roomate (Scream/SLC Punk dude) gets all “A”s and gets into med school. Only he (Never Been Kissed dude)’s not dead.

    Felicity needs a new agent.


  9. Allow me to introduce you to nifkin. he’s terrific and he too is a (once) frat boy. And oh, yeah….


    (that will most likely disappear).

    I was once a cheerleader. And that’s just fucked up. (I was 12/13).

    Relax and have some popcorn.


  10. yep. disappeared.

    “rushmore” quotes were wrapped around that text in red.


  11. I really liked SLC punk. Good flick. The DVD had much great commentary, I might add. :)


  12. You mean the mom on Once and Again? The lovely and talented Sela Ward? Why the crack on her lovely and talented breasts?

    She actually creeped me out in her sex scene with Ryan Philippe in 54.

    I kept returning to your site because, though I live down South, my brother appears to live near y’all (see, southern) in Greenpoint (based on that map I saw a month ago).

    And I like the snappy repartee.


  13. I may have a picture of him soon. ;)

    ::insert evil laugh here::

    Where down south? Where in Greenpoint?


  14. ah, the same creators. that solves the riddle. i’d guess the studios are even more likely to be the same too.

    this movie about killing the roommate – is this called ‘dead man on campus’ – the one w/the guy from saved by the bell (but not skreech or the guy who’s on nbc’s guy version of ‘the view’—i’m thinking the blonde guy that was getting with the cute girl that got
    ugly and on 90210)


  15. steve? cute girl? Who?

    steve was a ho, he had many a gals (somehow).

    one time he made out with a dude even. a dude dressed like a lady, of course.


  16. No, not that one starring Zach (is he on NYPD Blue now?) – I saw the ads for that – it looked like a really bad comedy.

    This one was darker – called the Curve. It was very odd. Mean spirited dare I say.

    Zack was with Tiffini Theissen on SBTB. Boy, things have taken off for her.

    Steve is getting dumped by his Playmate wife in real life. I actually had a friend who met Steve in Tahoe. Said he was arrogant for a guy who couldn’t get work.

    My brother lives on Huron near the taxi garage. It’s a lovely hovel.

    Don’t hunt him down, I don’t want him to know that his brother is a net geek.


  17. Jon, first you say you like Carson Daly and then you call my girl Tiffani
    and ugly.

    We will rumble.


  18. wait… does toby have a brother? This could be a really freaky coincidence!


  19. Sela Ward gives me the creeps. She’s weird looking. She’s plastic. She’s not real. She needs to go away now.

    toby doesn’t live on huron. so nope.


  20. she was cute on saved by the bell

    but we forget things—like those girls who were cute in highschool end up ugly
    slobs by their mid 20s. and the quieter, plainer ones end up thin hot sexpots that everyone wants to get with.

    its the natural progression of things.

    my friend is the one who knows carson daily. not i. i’m just amazed by the stories showing him to be intelligent and not mind numbingly dumb. a few weeks ago, my friend was in mr. daily’s apartment, prepping his in-home studio for a broadcast the next day. i think (sean) puff(y) d(i/a)dy (combs) was coming over the next day for a broadcast.

    whats his aparment like? i had to ask. apparently, very nice, clean, modest. no stupid shit like a 10k couch or a priceless piece of art. guy knows his time is limited and spending/saving wisely.

    damn him.

    now that alias girl. yum. especially when she wears the punkrock/raverslut wigs.


  21. I think Tiff is still pretty today. Even prettier than she was when she was younger.

    And the reason Carson doesn’t have any stupid shit in his apartment is because he can’t read the catalogs to order anything.

    And I agree with you about the Alias girl.


  22. oh, and just a note:

    does not necessarily equal ugly, and thin does not necessarily equal hot.

    This has been a PSA from freakgirl. :)


  23. i did some searching, confused about this sex scene of sela wards in 54. i barely remember that movie. now i’m scared of it.

    but this gets me going a bit more as another disturbing image coming to mind is this same ryan phillpe putting
    ‘the moves’ on an even more disgusting swoosie kurtze during the first scene of cruel intentions. for those fortunate enough to have forgotten, her and sela ward were costars in an awful early-90s drama called ‘sisters’.

    perhaps mr. phillipe has a master plan—
    to cycle through the entire cast of that show in a series of disturbing and de-eroticized sex scenes.

    whatever happened to that cute girl from china beach?


  24. Alias girl = foxy. But she cries a lot. And that sort of sucks when you’re a super-spy type.

    She ain’t no Jennifer Jason Leigh but she’ll do.


  25. In no particular order:

    China Beach girl (woman really, she’s like 45) was also in The Curve (with Alias guy, Felicity and Scream guy) – she’s the school guidance counselor.

    Tiff had the most blatant boob job in tv history. But she doesn’t seem overweight to me. And she dropped the “Amber” last year in a homage to Brian (Austin) Green dropping his “Austin”.

    Alias girl is very sexy. And she’s from West Virginia. Which lends itself to all kinds of discussion.

    The Sela Ward 54 sex scene (no nudity) was the only thing I remember from the movie b/c it was so odd. She played Ryan’s patron or something like that. Sort of like Breakfast at Tiffany’s done really gross.

    See, you never know what will happen. Ask about Alias and you get 25 responses that lead to…absolutely nothing of consequence.


  26. Most blatant boob job in tv history? Does no one remember Tori Spelling?


  27. michele,
    Laura and I have the entire season on tape…. and iffin ya talk pretty to us, you may get us to mix some drinks and cue up the vcr. Needless to say, im a huge fan.. tho Sydney is no #6. She could be the youngest cousin of the guy who did foley for the Man From UNCLE.


Leave a ReplyCancel reply