8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

Y’all, it’s just me and the kid these days, so time has been limited, hence the lack of updates. I’ll be back shortly. (He starts school soon!) In the meantime, I just had to share this amazing article with you.

It’s hysterical on so many levels, I don’t even know where to begin. Enjoy!

8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realizing it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.


  1. Hilarious. Man I can’t believe the rent. I live in rural Oklahoma and our rent average is 500-700 for a nice home with large yards and everything.


    1. If I told you what our rent is, you’d throw up. No kidding. Couple that with our square footage, you’d throw up again.

      It’s sick. Let’s just say it’s higher than that.


  2. Loved this. I’ve been feeling this more keenly than usual this summer, given how hot and disgusting and even more maddening than usual it’s been.


  3. I’ve fanticized about living somewhere like that but just couldn’t imagine it with kids. There are so many cultural and other opportunities but in a small town you don’t have to be afraid and have lots of space for animals and to play outside with your family, evening picnics and stuff… Have you’ll ever considered moving to a small town or would you miss the big city too much?


    1. All the time. But there’s no work for either of us in most small towns we’ve looked at. :[ We could contract, but the cost of health insurance keeps us from that as well.

      We’re kind of stuck to a big city given both our careers.


  4. This is timely. I have watched every episode of sex and the city a million times, its like mashed potato tv for me. Last night I wanted to punch Carrie in the neck with her first person inside her head dialogue about things that only happen in NYC or only New Yorkers do. Shit that happens everywhere in every city and town in the first world. People are single, have sex and break up.

    Also, I have visited 4 times, I have not lived there. But is is a loud, smelly, garbage piled shit hole with some awesome shit I love to visit. People and places included.

    So, those of you who live in NYC, you are not the freakin’ chosen people. You have made a choice.


  5. I guess you could say we fled NYC. We lived on the Upper West Side for a long time and loved it, but we chose to move back to New England when our oldest was almost two. I do love NYC, but I think many people (myself included) have a love/hate relationship with the city.

    After having a kid and with our second on the way, we felt the disadvantages of the city more intensely (cramped living space, mediocre-bad public schools, ridiculously expensive private schools, child care costs, lugging the stroller up stairs, fear of terrorism, shall I continue?) and were able to take advantage of fewer of the benefits.

    That’s not to say it can’t work. It seems shallow, but not spending vast amounts of time parking the car (my husband’s “job”) improves our quality of life, too.


    1. NHMaman: Yeah. Our son asked us the other day if we could go to the store to buy him a backyard. That’s when we knew without a doubt we’d be leaving come Spring. (After school ends, baby arrives, etc).

      Everything you mentioned is also why.


  6. I thought the article was hilarious. Especially the part about the Los Angeles–area residents moving in. Oh, two cities that are so easy to make fun of.


  7. Hilarious. I needed to read this.

    After visiting New York a few years ago I’ve been obsessed with finding a way to live there. However America isn’t too big on giving work visa’s to Australians.

    I’m sure I would love every minute of it, but this article makes me realise that beautiful Sydney, Australia isn’t such a bad constellation prize. Even if our rent is almost as bad as New York!


  8. This is exactly how I feel about this horrible place. I was sitting in McDonalds on West 4th street with my mom 2 days ago saying this exact same thing. As I sipped my mango smoothie and looked out the window, all of those thoughts completely overwhelmed me. I’m planning my escape now.


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