TobyJoe and I got up early this morning and drove to Whole Foods at Union Square. We brought the Bjorn and the baby and did some early morning shopping. The city is so nice in the morning. No one is out (except for maybe the people still drunk from the night before) and the stores are empty. Even the street vendors are still at home wrapping up their dreams.
We shopped. And Emory did really well. A lot of ladies came over to see him. One really adorable woman stopped us to talk about how cute he is. She called him Pumpkin Head, which made me laugh because I call him My Pumpkin Pie all the time. There’s something pumpkin-like about Emory.

We spent a small fortune, double the rent I used to spend per month while living in State College. We grabbed our bags and headed back to the car. We got everything in. I turned around to ask Toby something. (He sits in back with Emory.) It was at that very moment TobyJoe noticed my eye, my big red bloody eye.

It’s a subconjunctival hemorrhage, bleeding in the eye that happens if the eye is hit or scratched. I didn’t get hit. (It’s the opposite eye from the one I smacked running into a car door.) Nothing scratched it. I would have known. That leads me to believe it’s from a third cause: high blood pressure.
Of course, now that I’m all worked up, I’m having a slight panic attack, which causes shortness of breath, dizziness, and tingling, which are all telltale signs of high blood pressure. You see the dilemma?
I have always has stellar blood pressure up until I was 41 weeks pregnant. What the hell is going on? First it was the basal cell carcinoma, which led to the MOHs surgery. Then I got hit in the face with a car door. And now this? I look like a monster.
Edited to add: I just took a bath and was thinking about stuff about things. Pregnancy is the only thing I can think of that causes all sorts of weird (and negative) side-effects yet is still positive. Like, your hair may fall out (a common problem for breastfeeding mothers), your skin may sag, you may find new skin tags, moles, or (in my case) cancer cells. Pregnancy can ruin your eyesight even (another discovery I had recently). There’s joint pain, weight gain, hemorrhoids, stretch marks; the side effects are endless.
I was just thinking about everything that has changed since having Emory, all the physical oddities I’m still discovering, some of which are really painful and life-altering. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
They are the greatest side-effects ever.


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