F.U. New York City.

I hate this city. If someone told me I could wake up in Jersey tomorrow, or any other place for that matter, I’d stand up and cheer.

I wrote this on Friday:

I got a check from Google Adsense yesterday. I was ecstatic. I don’t make money of my own anymore. I figured I could buy Tobyjoe a little something because he’s been so awesome dealing with all of my crap lately. And so you can imagine my disappointment as I drove by our 31-year-old car on the way to get something to eat and noticed a big fat orange parking ticket slapped to its windshield. I was parked legally so why did I get the ticket?

Sitting on our desk at home was my new registration sticker. The one that was supposed to be placed in the windshield on the 7th of this month. Little did New York City parking attendants know (or care) was that at that very moment in time I was lying in a bed with tubes sticking into my cervix, my bladder, 2 in my arm, and one going directly into my spine. So, forgive me for not getting around to putting on the damned sticker.

Either way, there goes half of my Google Adsense check.

Yeah, so that sucked. Getting a ticket on a car that we’re trying to sell really sucked. But whatever.

Today it got worse. Today I looked out the window and saw another ticket on my windshield. I knew it wasn’t for my registration, I fixed that problem on Friday. So Tobyjoe went downstairs to check things out.

Well, it turns out a vehicle owner can’t sell a car in New York City. Only a dealer can sell a car in New York City. I got a ticket for having “For Sale” signs on my car, the same “For Sale” signs I have had on my car for about 3 months now. The same “For Sale” signs I had on my car on Friday when that other traffic cop gave me a ticket. What the hell? Where would I have found this information? There are cars ALL OVER BROOKLYN with signs on them. Do they all get tickets too? Because I find that hard to believe. And I got the ticket on a Sunday. This is up there with the time someone towed my car from one spot and moved it to another street entirely. Apparently, there was a movie shoot that day. But no one put up any signs. Had there been signs, I wouldn’t have parked there. It took me hours to find it, hours of sitting on the phone asking random tow truck companies if they knew where my car was. This has happened to numerous other people as well. Lastly, if anyone sees a blue, 1975 Volvo in Brooklyn, it’s for sale. You probably can’t tell because we can’t put signs in its window, but it’s for sale. OK?

Seriously, I am so out of here. I’ve had it with this sort of crap. I’m already stressed out. I’m already tired. This is just one more thing that makes me want to leave this city. Stick a fork in my ass, I’m done. Oh, and I need a drink.

P.S. For those of you who feel compelled to write about how much you love this city, kindly refrain from doing so today. I will delete your comments. I am that pissed off right now.


  1. wait, new york won’t let you appeal the ticket? i’m pretty sure you have a damn good reason.

    give them hell.


  2. Shit. Inasmuch as this city like to claim it cracks down on organized crime, the reality is they are the biggest racketeers of all. Sheesh.


  3. sambot, I am sure I could appeal the ticket, but doesn’t that mean standing in line at the courthouse or something? I can’t really do that with a newborn. I was going to do it with the first ticket but in reality, I am not sure I can find the time to do that. And Tobyjoe can’t stay home for another day just so I can head downtown and fight a ticket. If I didn’t have Emory, I would absolutely spend my time doing so, because this is bullshit. But as far as the tickets are concerned, apparently they are legit. I just had no idea you couldn’t sell a god damned car in this city unless you’re a dealer. It’s bullshit.



  4. I think you should come to Philadelphia, but like out here in the burbs. :D

    Sorry you had to deal with such bullshit and unneeded stress right now!


  5. Wow, that does suck! I really hate End of the month Quota Crap like that…


  6. Pack it up and head out West darlin’, Northwest that is. Portland, Oregon is awesome. Seattle isn’t horrible, but I love Portland more. At least in Seattle we could hook up and get to know each other. I mean that in a totally plutonic sorta way…remember, I’m the gay one. LOL!!!


  7. TJ’s dream is to live in Portland. No shit. He (and I) love that weather. I am a big fan of rainy days.


  8. You didn’t sell a car. You put a sign inside your own private property. The sign wasn’t profane (not that profanity should be censored, either). The sign had the words ‘for’ and ‘sale’ next to one another.

    Intent to distribute vintage vehicles?

    This is the most I can find on this particular law within a couple of minutes:

    It is unlawful to obstruct the view of any window in your vehicle as doing so will create an unsafe condition.

    Pursuant to Section 375 (1) of the NYS VTL…” The use or placing of posters or stickers on windshields or rear windows of motor vehicles other than those authorized by the commissioner of motor vehicles, is hereby prohibited.”


  9. Seriously, I think when it come to me and Volvos, we’re just not a match. I am cursed with these cars. They cause me nothing but trouble. This is the second old Volvo I have owned and it’s the second money pit. I need to break up with Volvos.


  10. That is truly the most insane thing I have ever heard (the for sale ticket; the registration ticket I understand, although it’s lame and annoying, but if NY tickets are anything like San Francisco tickets, there is an address on the back where you can write a letter to dispute the claim. A copy of your registration and an explanation of your whereabouts on the day in question should work.).

    I would be fuming as well. And on a Sunday? WTF? Nothing better to do?


  11. Nothing better to do and pissed off to be working on a 3 day weekend? Maybe. I have his name and badge number. I’m going to peanutbutter and bread his car.


  12. Isn’t it interesting that we’ve gotten tickets for both HAVING something in our window, blocking the view, and NOT HAVING something in our window, blocking the view.

    The view of a stationary car, no less. We weren’t pulled over with those signs… How are baby screens and suction-cup Garfields allowed in moving vehicles, but in a parked car, a sale sign is illegal?

    Fuck tha poh leece!


  13. but you’re smiling. you can’t be THAT pissed. ha ha.


  14. i think that boston’s traffic department has a thing on their site where you can appeal online. it’s worth looking into if that’s the case in the city of new york. you shouldn’t have to go stand in line for it :/

    stupid weird ticketing system.


  15. Come to the other side of the hudson. F that town. I spent a lovely morning sitting out back in our adirondak chairs, belly full of pancakes, Gracie digging in our “non-silica free” sand and exhaled. Really, F that town.


  16. While Phoenix isn’t particularly lovely this time of year, it’s perfect in November. You should at least visit. :)


  17. We are moving! to Portland in November. It’s my favorite city of all time. Come be our neighbors! : )


  18. Cute picture of you, though!


  19. You can fight the registration ticket and you can do it online. You will need to submit supporting evidence though. The good thing about contesting any ticket in the city (and something people don’t generally know) is that the city in most cases will offer up a chance to settle the matter for half of the fine.

    If you are definitely guilty, it’s a way to at least save something instead of paying the total fine.

    Although it’s getting harded due to the traffic departments use of handheld scanners, always check the information on the ticket. If the color, “car type” (sedan, wagon), make or plate number are wrong – you can ignore the summons and use the “not my vehicle” defense.

    I would suggest in the case of the reg sticker that what you should do is to scan in the original stub (that should have the date of renewal on it) along with taking a picture of the new stub. You may also need to submit evidence that you were in the hospital (or pregnant) at the time and a sympathetic hearing judge may dismiss it.

    Check out the NYC.GOV website before doing anything (especially paying the damn thing). It’s amazing now what you can get done on the website. If as a last resort you decide to go in person and plead your case (which would not be a bad thing given the fact you are in a delicate condition or recently a parent). Go to the Manhattan office of the PVB that is located directly opposite city hall on the ground floor of the municipal building. Bring all your supporting evidence and you may find it will take less time than you thought. Again, DMV and PVB have gotten much better about the Kafka-like atmosphere they used to project and have moved into the new millenium. You can get to the municipal building via the J train or the 4/5/6 – Brooklyn Bridge station.


  20. Like I said, it’s a great idea in theory, but bringing a new born into the city to fight a parking is not worth it. Emory poops around the clock and needs to eat (Breast milk, mind you) every 2 to three hours. It is just not feasible for me to walk to the JMZ line, hop on and head downtown to fight a parking ticket with a baby. I know I sound like I’m being a baby and/or a little lazy, but I can picture this scenario actually taking place and it’s not pretty.

    I’ll pay the damned fine and be done with it.

    But thanks for your help. I will check the online stuff, but going in is just not an option right now. If it can wait a month, sure. Hell, maybe they’ll boot the damned thing and tow it away.


  21. when i got pulled over in Brooklyn for my taillight being out, and did not have my driver’s license with me (double oops) the cop wrote me a ticket or 2 but said that if i got it fixed within so many hours to come by the station and the ticket would be dismissed. I say go that route. The station is over on Norman (or Meserole maybe?). And i didn’t have to wait in no stinkin line. And totally take Emory. Cops seem to like babies, especially supercute ones. It’ll be a civic lesson for your little man.


  22. Oooh, and if you guys do move out the Portland way, you’ll be the 3rd folks that i could visit there, +1 in Olympia, so that’d work out really great for me. Thanks!


  23. Do you think it was a cop who did it? Or one of those turds that drive those white cars around. I imagine that yesterday’s ticket was written by a cop because there is NO WAY the turds would be working on a Sunday. But who knows?

    I would bring Emory to a local precinct. Avoiding the subway until he’s a bit older might be wise. I’m feeding him antibody filled breast milk but he’s still fragile as far as fighting germs.


  24. Dude, I feel your pain, but that’s an awesome picture of you.


  25. call the 311. If nothing else they file the complaint.

    Do you know any cops? I got this PBA card from the daughter of a retired cop and it has gotten me out of a couple, albeit bullshit, tickets. (One was for 27 in a 25!)


  26. Sadly, I don’t know any cops. I wish I did, because I bet I could get out of the second one for having signs in my window. I find it hard to believe that someone would hold a person to a fine for something they had no idea they were breaking a law. It’s very unfair. I am not a law breaker. Had I known this wasn’t allowed, I wouldn’t have done it. It seems entirely unfair to me. I want to complain, but these days when I get an extra minute, I sleep or clean myself or eat. Or sometimes I pee. I get a pee in every now and again as well.

    totally unfair, NYC. You’re so mean to me. I feel totally helpless on this one. The same way I felt when they towed my car for a movie shoot. No one cared. No one. Is there anywhere in the US I can move to where things like this don’t happen? Hahah


  27. Detroit! nobody cares here either, but that kind of goes for the authorities, too. Detroit: carefree!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s