Week 30: I'm Falling Apart.

I had my 30-week checkup yesterday. Everything seems to be going just fine. We went over my bloodwork and all of that is right on track. Even my weight gain is fine. Chemically, I am doing well. I’m crossing my fingers that the next 8 to 10 weeks bring me much of the same where health is concerned.

Honestly, I don’t have a lot of room to complain because (for the most part) my pregnancy has gone pretty well up until this point. Sure, I was sick in the beginning. I battled a couple of vicious migraines, dealt with an excessive amount of saliva, and I fought with general nausea – the kind that runs through your blood, the kind you simply cannot not shake. But overall, things have gone pretty damn well, that is up until last week.

My body is finally starting to break down. I can no long walk very well, instead I wobble and my hips ache 24-hours a day. My belly itches and the muscles below my breasts – you know, where my abdominal muscles are currently splitting apart to make room for the baby (yes, that happens) – feel like I went to a pilates class after being punched in the gut repeatedly by Mike Tyson. My face continues to break out and there are dark spots forming on my nose and forehead, dark spots on top of the freckles I usually have. My back hurts. Last night I woke up to a wicked muscle strain in my right calf. I read the muscle pains are pretty normal for pregnant women in the last trimester and, given the amount of weight our legs suddenly have to endure, that makes sense. (Seriously, you try putting on 22 pounds in less than 7 months.) But that calf pain is excruciating. It’s so bad, Alberto Gonzales should consider using it when he tortures people.

I can’t sleep past 4 AM and when I finally force myself back to sleep again at around 6 AM, I wake up feeling hungover at 8 AM. And the dreams! The dreams are downright bizarre. If they’re not something taken directly from the mind of David Lynch, they’re sexually explicit in nature, almost disturbingly so.

My hair is thinning and that became even more obvious recently while getting my hair done. Oh, and I feel like I smell funny.

I am having trouble breathing, which is worse at night after I lie down. I purchased some of those nasal strips and that helps. But I also forget that I have them on so when I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night (3 to 5 times) to relieve my painfully full, baby-sized bladder, I immediately think something has gone very wrong with my face. It takes me a few seconds to figure out it’s just the glue strip holding my nostrils apart.

My heartburn, already an untameable beast, has gotten worse since my belly grew bigger. My stomach no longer has the room it once had. And it doesn’t always happen when I overeat. It happens at night no matter what and it happens on an empty stomach as well. My heartburn severity advisory system looks like this:

I can no longer eat ice cream. Like, I’ll probably never eat it again. About two weeks ago, I decided to consume an entire bowl of chocolate and vanilla ice cream smothered in dark chocolate and peanut butter chips at 10 o’clock at night. I then proceeded to vomit up that bowl of ice cream in my mouth over and over again for about 3 more hours. It was like having a hot, black and white, acid reflux flavored milkshake repeatedly. I haven’t been able to eat – no, think about – ice cream since. I have almost an entire gallon left if anyone wants to come over and finish it for me.

And my heart pounds now. I read that a pregnant woman produces 45% more blood by the time she reaches the third trimester and that the heart pumps 10 more beats per minute taking in about 30 percent more blood with each and every beat. So it makes sense why my heart is working overtime. It makes sense that sometimes I feel like I’m going to faint when I stand up too fast. It makes sense that my heart races after I’m startled awake, I sit up too fast, or I spend a long day walking through the hot streets of New York City. (Hello, yesterday.)

I spoke to my doctor yesterday about my physical ailments. I said, “Doctor, my body is starting to hurt everywhere. I’m starting to have some trouble moving around and breathing – you know – stuff I need to do in order to live.” To which she replied, “If you think it’s bad now, wait until week 32. That’s when things really start to take their toll.”


The good news is I haven’t put on weight since my last doctor’s visit. In fact, I lost two pounds since my last visit. To celebrate, I left the doctor’s office, hit Balthazar, and ordered a piece of coconut cake, which made my heart beat 11 more times each minute spent loving it with my mouth.


  1. Note to self: Remember to thank God for pregnancy being assigned to the fairer sex.


  2. The hearburn is the worst! It only gets worse as things get more squished in there. Have you tried Zantac? That was a life saver for me.


  3. I have not! Should I try that instead of Mylanta? I’m not sure if it’s working for me anymore. Not that I use it a lot but I will try anything at night at this point. What is it? Pill? Liquid? I will buy it today!


  4. It is a pill you took before you ate. It was recommended by my doctor and worked much better than Mylanta or Tums.


  5. You know, I so appreciate how frank and honest you are being about all of this stuff. I have so many weird health issues anyway, I really really worry about how my body might react if we do decide to have a baby. It won’t be the only factor in our decision, but it’s a huge thing to think about. And a lot of people just don’t talk in an honest way about the day to day effect of pregnancy on their bodies. So thank you for putting this all out there.

    Mike and I both use Zantac for occasional bouts of heartburn/reflux, and it is awesome. Hopefully it’ll give you some relief!


  6. Later, I will put up a picture of my belly to accompany this post. It’s huge. I need Tobyjoe’s help, however, so it’ll have to wait a few hours until he gets home.

    I will try Zantac. That’s two you now who say it rules. Thank you.

    Truthfully, I had acid reflux before getting pregnant but it never, ever got to be this bad. This is horrendous. I had no idea how bad it would get. And I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that ice cream now disgusts me. I truthfully may never be able to eat it again.

    Pregnancy hasn’t been all bad, however. For example, I saved a shitload of money on organic tampons. :] And my mental state improved. I read that hormones might do that to some women and I am one of them. I am happier pregnant, more stable. If it weren’t for all the physical ailments, I might say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and that’s not just because I’m having a baby. It’s chemical, I think.


  7. when my belly was at its worst (nasty painful 6 months) all food disgusted me. The physical reaction every time I ate (gnawing pain) trained me to despise food.

    It was only after moving to DC and partaking in certain known appetite stimulants that I regained my appetite (and an extra 20 pounds of fat).

    Some days, I wish I still had that anorexia ;)


  8. Zantac is awesome! Definitely take it when the heartburn is bad. Another simple thing I’ve found that works amazingly well is chewing gum. Seriously! It works if you chew it right after a meal or just when you start to feel the burn. It helps you generate a constant flow of saliva that is the best all natural antacid.


  9. I can’t chew gum. :[ I have really bad TMJ and it gives me a headache.


  10. Mihow, you are the best writer…
    Everything you posted today brought back all the memories I had from my last few weeks of pregnancy with Aubrey…
    I know the Dr. said it is going to be a bit worse and I hate to say it but it that is true but trust me it is all worth it in the end. For all the torture and hardship you go through in those 40 or so weeks, you end up with this amazing little person you will fall in love with on first sight!
    Hang on girl! You are almost there! :o)


  11. I feel ya sister. I am thirty weeks pregnant right now myself and I have a itchy painful rash on the left side of my belly and the right side of my lower back is in a twisted knot. Having said that, I heartly reccommend a prenatal yoga class. I always feel so, so much better at the end of class and for about three days afterward. At any rate, I love reading your journal and knowing that there is someone out there as broken as I am. You are not alone.


  12. Achy? Normal. Heartburn-y? Normal. Tired of peeing and waddling? So normal. The weight loss is a good sign, it means you have turned the corner into the home stretch. The best moment on the day my daughter was born, besides her and all, was the moment I realized I no longer had heartburn. Poof! Gone 10 minutes after I had her. I am not kidding. Hang in there, sister.


  13. You’re expecting?! Congratulations! I’m sorry you’re feeling icky – if you can get a banana down, the potassium will help with the pain in your legs. The other thing that can really help with your back is believe it or not, Tupperware’s rolling pin. It has an end that you can take off and fill it either with ice or hot water (depending on what will feel better), and every single pregnant person I know whose used one swears by it. Have Tobyjoe ‘roll’ your lower back with it – it’s bliss. You’re almost there, hopefully this last part will breeze by quickly for you. xox


  14. hmmm, not sure why that’s all stricken out up there but it wasn’t supposed to be.


  15. Man, it must be really, really, astounding to go through all those changes. I can only imagine. But you’re so cute… So pregnant and mummy like!

    Is it really bad to say that I can’t wait to see you at 32 weeks? :)

    ps… Look up the homeopathic versions of Ipecac or Nux Vomica and see if they fit you. I highly recommend those two. Got any ideas for my TMJ?


  16. Myla, sorry, it happens to me all the time a well – the cross-out thing. It’s because typo uses double dashes and turns them into cross outs. I have had to edit numerous of archive posts (after we switched) for that same reason. I’ll see if Tobyjoe can fix it, since I lost that ability as well when we switched. :]

    girl27, you’re so mean! just kidding. to be honest, I can’t wait either because it seems bad now. And I’m now aware that it’s just going to get worse.


  17. I’m so glad you’re posting about this. Between you and Torrie, I’m getting quite an education about what’s in store for me! Though I’m about 6 weeks behind you, I am already getting the horrid heartburn and other assorted symptoms—only more intermittently. While it’s scary to think about it only getting worse, at least it’s not forever!


  18. We’ll be hitting Balthazar in a few weeks—I can’t wait!

    Baby will be here soon – you’ll forget all about the other stuff – baby’s cause amnesia – I swear…

    Hang in there!


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