Last night I did something I’ve never done before. And I’ll be honest with you; I feel a little ashamed about it. Last night when the clock struck 9 PM and the phone lines opened, my fingers, as if detached from my body, began moving toward my cell phone.
Last night I voted for a contestant on American Idol.
I haven’t watched American Idol since season one. Tobyjoe and I were a new couple, living in a great big loft overlooking Manhattan at the time. We wanted nothing more than one another, hot meals, a bottle of wine, and a TV set. It’s been, like, 4 seasons since then. I never thought I would relapse.
I blame this entirely on The Barbarian Group and the launch of their then new Web site: Become an MM. Had it not been for that Become an MM commercial (which aired on January 16th, the 6th season premier of American Idol) I never would have watched it in the first place. I never would have gotten attached to the tattooed beat boxer, the fat, curly haired kid, or the southern belle that was sent home back on group night because of two hussies. (Them bitches deserved a spanking and not the sexy, I want to git’ you in the rump kind of spanking, a true ass whoopin’.)
I voted last night, people. I voted for Blake Lewis. The testosterone is in full force this week, stronger than ever before. And it’s not only pimples I have in common with a teenage boy.
Commence with the ridicule. I can take it.
Edited to add: Donald Eugene asked the most awesome question. He asked, “If you were to audition for Idol, what would your audition song be?” Feel free to play along. When I come up with my final answer, I will post it in the comments section.