Mihow

Chafed Cheeks and Angry Ankles

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by

Mihow
in

Runners, I need your help. Let’s start with my ankle. It hurts. I have been running anywhere from 3.5 to 4.5 miles a day and upping my distance on the weekends. I love it. My heart rate has even gone down. (Before it would shoot up well above 70. Now, it takes a while before it gets above 60 and it rarely ever hits 70.) Of course, I have hit some snags. About a week ago, my left ankle and shin started to hurt. It’s not excruciating, I can still run, but it does hurt. It hurts the most when I first get up in the morning or directly after I finish running. What’s up with that? Has anyone out there had something like this happen? Is there something I can do? I bought on of those ankle braces but I think it might be too small. I have no idea. I wish there were a runner’s doctor.

This next bit is going to make people laugh at me. It’s about the ass. That’s right, the ass. Is there such thing as runner’s lube? Tobyjoe joked about it last night after I told him my predicament. He also told me to get myself waxed, which I will not do. It’s not that I can’t handle pain, I can. But I am not spreading my cheeks so some Asian woman at Siss can wax my privates. Tobyjoe also suggested Nair. I would rather hand pluck each individual hair than let anyone near my ass with a can of hair-eating Nair.

I have heard of people taping up their nipples. I have no need for that, as my sports bra is super duper and stops any movement from taking place at all. Without going into too much glorious detail, is this normal? Is there something I can do? I need a therapist for my work out routines; this stuff is freaking me out. Also, what other hidden, future problems do I have to look forward to?

Anything goes today. But if you bring up jock itch, I will cut you.

Comments

37 responses to “Chafed Cheeks and Angry Ankles”

  1. anon Avatar
    anon

    shin splints. you’re probably running too much…take a break, i think.

    no clue on the ass part, sorry.

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  2. Missy Avatar
    Missy

    Shin/ankle: Ice every day and take Advil or Aleve. Every day, even if it doesn’t hurt. If you don’t want to go the anti-inflammatory route, then ice every day and back off the mileage & frequency a bit. Well, you may want to back off the mileage a bit anyway. Soak in epsom salt as well. I’m told shin splints will go away as your body gets used to running so much, but I’m not sure I buy that if it means not altering behavior in the short term.

    Can’t help you with the ass, except for suggesting petroleum jelly.

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  3. robyn Avatar
    robyn

    The only thing I’d suggest for your shin/ankle pain is if it bothers you, see if you can find a sports medicine doctor. They do exist and they’re meant for people who run/play sports/are really active. Continuing to run on shin splints can sometimes lead to worse things…like a stress fracture. And sometimes, it’s not shin splints at all, but another injury you haven’t noticed you have…yet.

    Also, petroleum jelly works wonders!

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  4. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Honestly, (and I really, really mean this) I’m exaggerating on the ass bit. I really am.

    The ankle thing, that needs to be fixed. I can’t deal with this and I don’t want to stop running. Thank you, Missy.

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  5. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Robyn, do you apply the jelly before you run? After you run? All the time? Does it leave a big greasy stain on your pants?

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  6. Jonathan Avatar
    Jonathan

    i tried writing this a few times to sound less crude, but its hard

    so i’m just going to write:

    you’re a girl, girls don’t have enough hair back there for it to cause a chafing problem. there might be some stuff there that exacerbates things, but if there were enough to cause chafing you’d likely be single and not married right now.

    i know some runners who use the jelly, but they mostly do it for marathon training. some people’s bodies just chafe one section more than others. before going for vaseline, i’d look into alternate underwear – like compression shorts or a thong.

    oh, and i always treat chafing with gold bond medicated powder.

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  7. robyn Avatar
    robyn

    I have to confess that my jelly recommendation isn’t from experience….it’s a tip that’s been passed on to me from other runners. They totally lather the stuff on * everywhere * before running.

    For me, wearing a thong when I play sports seems to spare me any sort of chafing agony.

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  8. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    You really wear a thong while working out? It would be totally insane if I gave up my anti-thong feeling because of runninng.

    Do you really wear a thong? It’s not uncomfortable?

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  9. Missy Avatar
    Missy

    Jonathan, here’s a tip: you could have just deleted that “You’re a girl…” paragraph.

    Petroleum jelly is good for any chafing spots when applied before running, but the problem is that it wears off. I assume that you’d want to avoid reapplying while you’re running. The thong sounds like a good idea, though.

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  10. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Imagine that. I’ll have one water bottle for, obviously, water. And another to squirt on new dabs of vaseline.

    I might look into this thong idea. Insane.

    (Your tip made me laugh out loud, missy.)

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  11. robyn Avatar
    robyn

    I totally wear a thong. And it’s incredibly comfortable.

    I play a lot of soccer, and there’s nothing more awkward than having to deal with underwear creep when you’re trying to sprint from one end of the field to the next. Comfy thongs are as high up on my sports gear list as sports bras. And sports bras are way up there.

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  12. Meshbetty Avatar
    Meshbetty

    From my experience from running on the track team in college and high school is it sounds like you do have shin splints. I had that. It sucked. The best thing they told me to do is exactly what Missy suggested. Use ice. Also, are you running on a treadmill or outside. If outside, stick to softer surfaces. Hard surfaces can excerbate the pain. And soft surfaces such as those rubberized tracks are much better on the knees.
    As far as the chafing goes, if you stop by a sports store or running store they usually sell a stick of anti-chafing lotion. I can’t remember the actual name but it comes in a form similar to a deodarent stick. You can also try on different shorts with a different material to see if it makes a difference.
    I am dying to get back to running. My doctor doesn’t like the idea of me running in my current state. So I have to be happy with just walking for now!

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  13. hthr Avatar
    hthr

    mihow-
    what about the shorts with a safety net?
    i wear those for running. youd still be going mihow, sort of.
    underwear and running do not mix.
    every other day with the running is sufficient. or like someone else said, lower the mileage, dude.
    do you run inside or outside?
    i find the treadmill really helps with my shin splints.
    or get your shoes checked out.
    when youre buying them, the sales staff or whatever, should insist on seeing you walk and run in them. theres a great place here called marathon sports.
    come up and i’ll take you.

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  14. greg Avatar
    greg

    powder the ass is what i do all summer long baby!!!!!. or get toby back there with some duct-tape(ouch!!!) no, better yet, have him wax it and you both can turn it into a new intimate-relationship-elevating experience!!!!!!

    as for the ankle, are you running on the track or the road? if on a track are you running clockwise or counter-clockwise? how far do you7 walk to the train from your house and how far do you walk to work from the train? and on what side of the street are you walking? is the road to you left a majority of the time or is it on your right?

    the running on the track may not be the cause of the problem, but the amplifier or your situation. all city sidwalks pitch towards the road and sometime dramitically. we tend to walk on sidewalks like we drive on the road….forward with buildings on our right and the road to the left. this means that every step, your right leg lifts your body higher than your natural walking height on level ground therefore the force coming down on the left leg is greater than the right leg! it’s minor, but it adds up especially with city living and walking everywhere.

    my sister stressfractured her ankle this way in high school track. she was running the local roads that pitch high in the center of the road to low at the birm to get the water off the road.

    just a thought, not trying to scare you into thoughts of broken ankle, more preventative hopefully

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  15. aimee Avatar
    aimee

    greg is one of the smartest people i’ve ever not really known.

    i’d go with what he said. we also have a friend who loves running marathons and he actually kind of hurt his leg from running too much so he had to take a few months off (dr.s orders) and ended up missing the Boston Marathon :( he was sad.

    you might try giving yourself a few days per week to recover. Sarah was training for a marathon and would run (i think) small mileage on T,W,Th (3-4 miles) take Friday off, Cross train on Sat., and do her distance runs on Sunday.

    oh, and she’s a BIG fan of Gold bond. for chafing. in fact, she leaves for hockey camp in 3 days and I believe she’s going to make a gold bond run soon.

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  16. greg Avatar
    greg

    aimee, i blush and thanks…..i thought having toby wax michele’s you-know-what was a pretty good idea too, plus she could return the favor for a little extra fun herself. ; )

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  17. aimee Avatar
    aimee

    nothing says “i love you” like…

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  18. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    You guys totally rule. Greg, you are indeed a bit of a genius. I never would have thought about all that. I run counterclockwise on the track (I have no idea where the breaks are in that word, so I’ll make it all one). During the week, I use the treadmill. And it’s weird because my right foot is perfectly fine. It’s only my left.

    Today, I did only 3.5 miles. And I took some aleve before I left. It worked wonders. But I don’t want to get too attached to that remedy. Perhaps I’ll ice it tonight.

    I wonder why it hurts so much after I sleep. Weird.

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  19. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Regarding the whole waxing thing… I had my first ever waxing (heather knows about this. she told me to go!) the other week. It was pretty darn painful, I ain’t gonna lie. The woman told me that it gets worse the “further you go in”. I asked if a lot of women get it all taken off and she said “oh yes, very very many.”

    I am not that woman. Holy shit, I can’t imagine being spread eagle while someone rips the ass hairs off you. Yikes.

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  20. greg Avatar
    greg

    count-erclo-ckwi-se

    hurtin in the morning sounds like a strained tendon/ligament/muscle where inactivity gets it stiff…….if it were bruised cartlidge or a broken bone, it hurts all the time. as for the ibprofin(sp) use it at night to help sleep if you have trouble and for general purpose swelling and pain, but never use it to hide pain and then go out and workout on a numbed joint, that’s when you need to feel the pain so as to not hurt yourself.

    spend 5 minutes longer stretching before and even more after you run. that’s the most important time to help heal the angry muscles and such. that’s what i’ve heard, i refuse to run, i’m fat with bad knees and feet, i’m better in bed with wax between my cheeks.

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  21. aimee Avatar
    aimee

    to be honest, i stopped going for waxes after I started to wonder whether the wax-er lady was actually enjoying putting me through excruciating pain. I’m assuming I was just paranoid but that’s what that pain will do to you…

    she just wouldn’t stop ripping that devil strip of tape or whatever off the same area over and over and over…

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  22. tobyjoe Avatar
    tobyjoe

    Don’t take NSAIDs on a regular basis. I had a bleeding stomach from doing as much.

    Tone it down a little to solve the ankle pain. Go see a sports doc. Our insurance is insanely good.

    On the butt note, I say lube up a hot dog and tape it between your cheeks. That’ll keep them from touching, and the silky smooth hot dog skin will provide less friction. When you’re done, you’ll have a warm high-protein treat!

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  23. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    On the butt note, I say lube up a hot dog and tape it between your cheeks. That’ll keep them from touching, and the silky smooth hot dog skin will provide less friction. When you’re done, you’ll have a warm high-protein treat!

    I will if you’ll eat the hotdog, or Notdog, rather.

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  24. Meshbetty Avatar
    Meshbetty

    That hotdog comment was too much. I now see them in a whole new light…. Although I am not sure I want to though… :o)

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  25. greg Avatar
    greg

    why don’t you just cut a piece of chipboard or foamcore into the shape of a dorsal fin and just stick it in your crack. you’ll run straighter and possibly reduce wind-resistance…..you could put on a show for the neighbors if toby ran behind you with a gaff in hand. i’d pay to see that.

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  26. greg Avatar
    greg

    just kidding, i read my post again and now i think a fin is completely ridiculous and probably wouldn’t work…..maybe you should stick with the hotdog.

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  27. greg Avatar
    greg

    ……..wait a second, you live in greenpoint right?……go out and buy six or so feet of kielbasa and you can tie it up like sumo wrestler’s mawashi under your clothes. just hope it doesn’t untie and hang from your shorts! that wouldn’t be too pretty for an unsuspecting jogger, even it they are polish and slightly hungry

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  28. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    I love derailed comment sections. Awesome.

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  29. greg Avatar
    greg

    i’m serious!

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  30. Charlie Avatar
    Charlie

    Forget the sausages. I think you should just lube up your fingers and run with your hand in your pants. This will force you to slow down, so your legs won’t hurt as much. Maybe try speedwalking.

    And wear a helmet, too. Just to complete the ensemble.

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  31. greg Avatar
    greg

    maybe sucking one’s thumb would really seal the deal and help one focus on breathing in through the nose and out the mouth…..and when your bumb hand gets tired, just switch off with the thumbsucker…..it’s a self-lubricating system not to mention self-cleaning!

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  32. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    I am going to be so much hotter now.

    Pictures to come.

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  33. Jonathan Avatar
    Jonathan

    “Jonathan, here’s a tip: you could have just deleted that “You’re a girl…” paragraph.”

    but if i said that, mihow would still be wondering about whole waxing and hair thing

    i’m swift and lethal like that

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  34. Charlie Avatar
    Charlie

    This is what I was thinking of for your running outfit.

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  35. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    OH NO! The picture is back!

    You know, sometimes, I just want to put that front and center. Perhaps that’ll be my post today; just a big shot of that picture. (Especially since I’M OFF TO THE BAR TO WATCH THE GAME! WOOO!!!)

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  36. maheshlind@juno.com Avatar
    maheshlind@juno.com

    I have the same problem. My left ankle hurts the next morning after running 4 miles. I saw a sports medicine doctor illustrate this exact problem. She says that while sleeping, your toes are positioned moved away from your legs and that stiffens up the muscles. You need to sleep so the your toes are pointing towards your knees. I know it”s hard to sleep that way. Also you need to stretch every few hours to loosen up the ankle muscles.

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  37. mihow Avatar
    mihow

    Holy crap! You’re a fountain of information.

    thank you!

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