The Truth About Asparagus and Your Piss.

I feel that it’s very important to inform the Internet that the whole theory that “you can’t smell stinky pee unless you’ve actually eaten the asparagus yourself” is, in fact, WRONG. That’s right. IT’S WRONG!

Last night, Tobyjoe ate asparagus and I did not. Two hours later, his piss smelled so stinky, it made my eyes water.

It’s my job to prove all theories surrounding schtanky urine wrong.

14 Comments

  1. well, here’s one for you to work on. We’ve been testing a “theory” at work as to whether cashews make your butt itch. Normally, I wouldn’t bring this into a conversational forum, but since you seem comfortable with urine, I figured why not.

    Anyhow, my friend says that cashews are poisonous in the shell (which appears to be true) and they are somehow related to poison ivy or something. According to him, when you eat cashews the oil ends up irritating the back door and thus makes you itchy.

    We ran an experiment, but this one guy ate 75% of our cashew stock without any itching, which seemed to debunk the theory and also end the experiment due to lack of cashews.

    Anyone else familiar with cashews and their supposed affect on the rear?

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  2. sweet jesus, I have my work cut out for me! This won’t be nearly as fun as smelling Tobyjoe’s urine, however. No one likes an itchy sphincter.

    But I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!

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  3. Pippy was potty-trained at 2 and a half years old, but she didn’t have a big bladder. She ate a TON of asparagus one evening before a trip to see fireworks on the Fourth of July. Needless to say, the story ends with a long ride home in the minivan with Kerry’s lap stinking of asparagus pee.

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  4. I must inform rachel that it has nothing to do with one’s nose and whether or not they’ve actually eaten the asparagus.

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  5. cashews have never made my pooper itchy.

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  6. No kidding. You have no idea how ironic this is- i’ll have to email you about it to protect the not so innocent.

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  7. We talked about this very thing ALL FREAKING WEEKEND LONG!!!! You’re a kindred soul – wish you would have been there! And I still didn’t smell mine or another innocent persons :)

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  8. Nessa, me too. I am so very sad I didn’t go. I almost headed that way last minute (Friday) but chickened out from flying.

    Are you going to Stanley? I want to meet you, babydoll.

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  9. Cashews made my butthole itch. I ate a whole container of cashews over about 4 days and now my butthole is itching like crazy and i was looking for what would make my butthole itch so bad and i found where cashews are like poison ivy to you rear…..so yes, cashews made my butthole itch

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  10. YES to cashews and itchy anus!!!! My wife and I made the connection several months ago and stayed away from them since. However, we shared a small can about 3 days ago and the itch is back. The over-counter benadryl capsule I took about 2 hrs ago is finally providing some relief.

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  11. OMG!!! I too was doing a search on google to see what the hek has been causing the damned anal itch!!! I was looking for food culprits, and saw nuts on one post..then I made the search more specific because I had JUST EATEN a whole can over two days of cashews (about 2 1/2 cups worth) and boy oh boy did my butt start itching last night and this morning I am really paying the price!!
    YES CASHEWS WILL MAKE YOUR ANUS ITCH!!!!!!!!!!! WORD TO THE WISE! I WILL NEVER EAT THEM AGAIN – EVER!!! I think that macadamia nuts might cause itching too because I was on Atkins a few years back and eating those nuts like they were going out of style and my butt itched like the devil back then.

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  12. I couldn’t figure out the “itch” until this morning. I ate about a half pound of cashew butter. I haven’t been so uncofortable in my life. Definitly the cashews. Maybe they weren’t steamed properly and still contain traces of urushiol. I am highly allergic to poison ivy and I would suspect they the two are related.

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  13. Cashew-Eaters…

    How long til the itching stopped???

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  14. Mystery solved! I just polished off a 14 oz can of cashews in about 4 days and started itching “down there”. Then started getting itchy everywhere! I kept thinking that the”rash” was taking over my body. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind! Kept smearing Benadryl clear gel to stop me from scratching!

    I was hospitalized last summer for a bout with poison ivy and was warned not to eat cashews but had completely forgotten. Turns out I am HIGHLY allergic to poison ivy and apparently now cashews!

    This article has saved me! Thank you!

    Reply

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