Barbie and Keninem

Ken and Barbie are getting back together after 18 months apart. They broke up after 43 blissful years together citing irreconcilable differences. Good news all around.

Sit down bitch If you move again I’ll beat the shit out of you.

Ken spent some time in the Middle East. He tried Buddhism for a while and just tried to find himself, really. Meanwhile, as Ken searched for the meaning of life, Barbie got it on with another guy.

Ken has had a makeover, too. Mattell will unveil his new look today, I believe. I hear he was given a much manlier look. (All the better for playing Brokeback Mountain between he and Barbie’s ex, Blaine.)

Why don’t you like me? You think I’m ugly don’t you. (It’s not that!) No you think I’m ugly.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. (But the lyrics are Eminem’s.)

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU!! OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!

All the model couples are getting back together.

4 Comments

  1. Sales for Barbie were way down last year. Mattel cut about 200 people, almost all from their El Segundo headquarters, including a LOT of people from the Barbie teams. Fortunately strong growth at American Girl and Fisher-Price saved her. Otherwise Ken would move on to one of the Bratz.

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  2. Do you think this will help? Probably, eh?

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  3. Hopefully! For obvious reasons I can’t really talk about it, but I’m glad that people are talking about it.

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  4. totally understood.

    Yeah, it was even on the radio show I listen to every morning. So that’s good.

    Well, I’ll make a toast to Barbie and Ken!

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