Ken and Barbie are getting back together after 18 months apart. They broke up after 43 blissful years together citing irreconcilable differences. Good news all around.
Sit down bitch If you move again I’ll beat the shit out of you.
Ken spent some time in the Middle East. He tried Buddhism for a while and just tried to find himself, really. Meanwhile, as Ken searched for the meaning of life, Barbie got it on with another guy.
Ken has had a makeover, too. Mattell will unveil his new look today, I believe. I hear he was given a much manlier look. (All the better for playing Brokeback Mountain between he and Barbie’s ex, Blaine.)
Why don’t you like me? You think I’m ugly don’t you. (It’s not that!) No you think I’m ugly.
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. (But the lyrics are Eminem’s.)
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU!! OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!
All the model couples are getting back together.