Yesterday, was Toby Joe’s birthday. He’s now 28. For a little more than a month, I will be only 3 years his senior.
Every time Toby Joe has a birthday, I want it to be spectacular. And every time I feel like a failure because, well, that’s impossible. But I could make it semi-spectacular, you’d think. This year, I felt really bad. We didn’t even go to Chuck E. Cheese. Plus, the ONE SHOW he wanted to watch on OnDemand wouldn’t play. I even called the number and they were like, “Dude, what do you want us to do kick other people off the system? It’s busy. Deal with it.” And I was all, “YES, you chump, it’s his birthday. For the love of God, please let us watch Episode three of Sleeper Cell. Please?”
Nothing.
Instead, I put him to work decorating cookies and designing a new Web site we’re working on. Someday, I’ll figure out how to give him 100% blissful happiness without the need for narcotics or hookers or shows about terrorism.
(Happy belated birthday, Beaner. I’m sorry about Sleeper Cell. I’m also sorry about the cookies and the Web site work.)
Mihow 
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