Most everyone hates sitting on urine. And if you’re a woman who pees outside of the house more than once a year you’re bound to have noticed the ever so prevalent splatter that covers toilet seats across the United States of America. It’s one of the small things about the breaking down of the Social Contract that infuriates me. But I’m willing to let that one go in order to work on more important ones such as insisting drivers let people merge or asking that people not speak during live music shows.
I hover. Sometimes, it’s just downright hard to do if it’s not totally annoying. Especially while wearing winter clothing and there is no hook. And sometimes, it’s annoying because you just don’t want to have to hover.
I wish the first person to enter a public restroom and discover that the seat is not actually covered in another person’s urine would just sit their ass down and pee. I’m not sure what the rest of America’s women do with their asses, but I’d much rather sit on something touched by my ass than sit on something touched by my urine. New Yorkers are the most hypocritical of all. If one is willing to ride the MTA, they damn well should be willing to let their cheeks touch the bowl from time to time.
But I digress. I noticed something about those puffy, soft, vinyl seat covers. I noticed they are less likely to be covered in urine. I rarely discover them in quite the same piss-covered state as their porcelain cousins. And this weekend, I wondered why that might be. Are people more comfortable with sitting on a puffy vinyl seat cover? Do they make for better deterrents? Or am I just not seeing the splatter?