This morning there was a dildo riding a SEGWAY on the elevator. I’m sorry, did I just say “dildo”? I meant perfectly able rich man.
He’s now second in line in receiving the award for the biggest ass. The contender is still somewhere in San Francisco. This gent rode his SEGWAY around the grocery store and once he reached the check-out line, proceeded to put it into reverse over and over again all the while running into the walls making up the isle. Eventually, he got off, turned it manually, and pushed it through the isle.
I silently judged him. To be honest, I am not sure why SEGWAYS bug me so much.
maybe because they’re a cruel insult to people who, through nature or accident, do not have bodies that work well and must use devices to assist in getting around?
perhaps because they’re an insult to people who’ve struggled through surgeries and physical therapy, learning to propel themselves again.
perhaps because people who don’t seem to appreciate the incredibly strong and fragile body we all have to make peace with just make you sad.
there is a man i see all the time who has to drag himself around, he’s suffering from the muscle wasting effects of HIV meds. he has to wear pads on his joints, and he listens to headphones to help him deal with the pain. sometimes he has to take breaks and literally hang on something nearby. People stare at him because he looks like the walking dead. But i love and admire him, and feel like a huge imbecile for everything i’ve ever complained about.
perhaps because SEGWAY users are the polar opposite of champions like the man i see.
see, i was just going to say, you look silly on a segway. worse than moped silly, not nearly as cool as skateboard silly.
Ha! I remember when that happened in SF, too damn funny.
Because Segue users may as well be wearing a neaon sign that shrieks “I’m a lazy mother-fucking asshat. Now get out of my way so I can roll on past in my ridiculous-looking, oversized scooter while I gain 20 pounds.”
Sherri, you had me at hello. Is it really Seque? Holy Moly, that’s even more absurd. They spell it like they’re special, too.
i bet i know what kind of mobile phone he uses, too.
I sorta like Segues, but I doubt if I’d ride one around town. I don’t know, maybe I would. I also sorta like dildos, but I definatly would never take one out in public. So that’s one in my favor.
I think I hate the way they actually look. They look like new things that look like they were designed in 1982. Dildos are perfect, on the other hand.
P.S. I am not sure if I’m proud about NOT knowing how to spell “Seque”. Or if I am a huge dildo, too.
I’m not sure how it’s spelled, I think it is Segway, but I’m too lazy to go look it up.
I don’t know what has made me laugh more..everyone’s horrible misspelling of easy words, or everyone’s perfect spelling of dildo..
looks can be deceiving – I wouldn’t assume he’s well and able if he’s using one of those. My old boyfriend (he was 28 when I met him) used to be ridiculed often to his own face (and definitely behind his back) about using a cane and having a handicapped parking permit
ps Sedways are ridiculous for well-abled bodies (like your well able elevator-riding rich guy)
oop! the rest of my first comment didn’t post? where’d it go-go?
annapolis has a shop called “segs in the city” where you can rent them.
they are also an internet cafe, and have yoga classes.
Zac, I will never misspell dildo. No sir.
I don’t know how to spell anything. I could look it up, copy and paste it, and still spell it incorrectly.
I know, right? For example, “dildo” shows up (in Safari) with the red squiggly below it as if it’s spelled incorrectly. here is what it tells me to choose instead. I wonder how Dido feels about that. hmmmmmmm
I can’t spell my own name half the time which is why I shortened it to “mihow”.
I like segways fine, though they do look retarded. It’s not like any of us spend our entire day on our feet – and those that do, they can use a little help. We saw these cops in chicago on segways, that made sense. Though I do think they should have flames on the side of them, or maybe badges.